Obsessive Collectors

Just when I was considering the possibility of throwing some shit out, I come across a group of compulsive collectors, thanks to Men.Style.com. I was looking for Philip Grangi, a jewelry designer, and discovered that he is a self-described “Avid Materialist” who can’t resist collecting things, even from dumpsters.

I personally have too many ‘collections’ but not as many as Philip Crangi. He is seized with a sudden urge to collect something and then scours the city for it. I like how unabashed he is about his compulsions. He admits that he’d rather put stuff in storage, where he can’t even see it, than sell any of it. Naturally, he loves and collects taxidermy. Who doesn’t, at this point? I’m ready to approach someone at the next cocktail party with the conversation-opener “So how much taxidermy do you own?”

On this same site, you can meet artist Hunt Slonem, who is also an Avid Materialist, but on a much grander scale. He makes Andy Warhol look like a slacker, collection-wise. You need to see the video clip to grasp Hunt Slonem’s delightful mania for color and collecting.

And then I came across these two guys who have a clothing company called Barking Irons. They are the ultimate New York Hipsters. Silly caps, long scarves, fingerless gloves, facial hair, the whole shebang. They collect old Victorian shit and they’re “obsessed with Authenticity.” One of them holds an old whiskey bottle and starts rhapsodizing about it. Why do I hate them? Oh, right, I’m a cunt!

I am exhausted from all the obsession. Anyone out there collect anything that isn’t taxidermy?

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14 Responses to Obsessive Collectors

  1. Tobi Lynne says:

    Obviously I collect music and anything music related. But, only for you, will I embarrass myself thusly ::

    I collect Mr. Potato Heads — but not the regular ones. I buy the Darth Tater, Spud Trooper, Optimash Prime, Spiderspud, etc. ones. Also, Star Wars character bobbleheads. Anything that has to do with Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (action figures included). Really bad B horror or exploitation movies (Ed Wood junkie!). Those little green plastic army men (I have hundreds of them, and I’m not sure why I keep buying them when I come across them). I also have several monkey heads. (Not actual monkey heads). I was making monkey stuffed animals for a while, and I never really liked the bodies, but their faces always turned out cute. So I kept the heads.

    Upon typing all that out, I now realize why it took me 27 years to get a serious boyfriend. And also that he’s either a strange bird himself, or that he probably thinks about strangling me pretty often. Maybe both.

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    You should win something for the monkey heads! I like those little green army guys, too. I know they will come in handy one day.

  3. Charponnaise says:

    I have a collecting impulse. Currently it’s coats and umbrellas. Before that it was coloured gloves, before that belts . . . nail polish [the apex of my collecting sickness, I had literally hundreds] . . . playing cards . . . those weird coloured glass pebbles that people use for window displays . . . if I own an item in one colour or design, and then I get it in another, thereafter I am compelled to collect it vociferously, I MUST have more of said item than anyone else. It’s deeply unhealthy and one day I’ll seek help.

  4. Sister Wolf says:

    Yep, I hear you. I’ve got enough red lipstick to feed the starving third world with it. Biker boots, junk jewelry, portraits of Jesus, I don’t want to go on. Hang on to your gloves is my best advice. And take photos of them if you havent already! I would love to see them.

  5. julie says:

    Hey, uh, let me know that taxidermy conversation starter works out for you. I’d like to see where it takes you. Maybe I’ll incorporate it into my awkward conversation arsenal.

    http://www.shinylittlethings.com

  6. Imelda Matt says:

    *barf* I have real problem with horders, I knew a guy who collected (I don’t think collected is the right word) used toilet paper rolls – his house bursting at the seams with effing cardboard rolls, oh, and empty glass jars in various states of cleanliness!

    I collect nadda…lite ‘n easy for me!

  7. Sister Wolf says:

    Yes, once it gets to toilet paper rolls, it’s hard to call it “collecting.”

    You’re blessed, Imelda, to be spared from that acquisitional itch. Certain husbands whose names I won’t mention have amassed fifty thousand CDs, with no end in sight.

  8. Imelda Matt says:

    You can’t see it, but I’ve just scooped my jaw off the floor!!!

  9. Mark says:

    53 pairs of Levi’s. 600+ Pez dispensers. 156 vintage lunch boxes. And you, Sister, have gotten me into saving those plastic things that hold bread bags closed. I’ve gotten to the point where if The Good Ed throws one out, I’ll dig through the trash for it because I’m convinced it’s bad luck not to save them.

  10. Mark says:

    I have a few Barking Irons t-shirts. Tomorrow morning I won’t. Those brothers are vile, pretentious idiots.

  11. Sister Wolf says:

    Yeah, they’re dispicable. Dump those shirts. Remember: Target or Comme de garcons for you, Mark.

  12. Eloise says:

    Manual typewriters!

  13. Sister Wolf says:

    Manual typewriters, wow, that’s a good one. You need a lot of space for that one. Do they have to work?

  14. anne cook says:

    does anyone collect for the sake of staying sane? i feel like i have serious issues please help me someone.!

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