PAP Smear Membership, and More

Thanks to the creative thinking of reader ‘annemarie’, I hereby announce the formation of PAP Smear, a non-profit organization devoted to Swiftboating the Republican candidate for Vice President. Patriots Against Palin will strategically deploy facts and rumors devised to undermine her candidacy. We will use the public record and our own fevered imaginations to smear her reputation, such as it is.

I will be PAP Smear’s CEO. Just nominate yourselves for the position you are most unfit for (a tribute to Palin herself!) If you’re bad with numbers, you can be the treasurer, and so on. However, we do need someone who is good at graphic design to create our logo.

Please take a moment from your busy lives to sign up! Sister Wolf will review your applications and announce the executive and staff positions on Monday night.

If you’re sick of politics, let’s focus on fashion instead! Just when I thought I’d found a leopard print item I might wear without looking like Peg Bundy or Jackie Collins, it turned out that Zenggi won’t ship to the US. Fuckers!   I still want the dress, from by Malene Birger.

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66 Responses to PAP Smear Membership, and More

  1. annemarie says:

    Patrick H– where did you go? you are the wind beneath my wings, dammit!

  2. honeypants says:

    Imelda, what a fine choice in footwear for PAP! I’d like the scary, pointy, black witch shoes of death (pictured just below them) though. I’ve figured out my post! I will lead the marches teetering in my dangerous heels! I’ve got foot problems too which make it painful for me to walk long distances — especially in heels! It’s perfect!!!

  3. David Duff says:

    I know you are all enjoying yourselves, er, ‘havin’ fun’, I think is the correct jargon, but before you go too far down the road of rubbishing Mrs. Palin you might care to read this:

    http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/f1984d88-7cd5-11dd-8d59-000077b07658.html?nclick_check=1

    It’s summed up in this paragraph:

    “The attitude that expressed itself in response to the Palin nomination is the best weapon in the Republican armoury. Rely on the Democrats to keep it primed. You just have to laugh.”

  4. annemarie says:

    Thank you Mr. Duff! That sentence perfectly encapsulates the smug and snide attitude of the Republicans, perhaps rivaled only by Palin’s own nasty little speech.

  5. Sister Wolf says:

    Honeypants – Perfect. A beautiful sacrifice on your part.

    Mr Duff – Yes, we are haing fun.

    Patrick -WAKE UP, ANNEMARIE NEEDS YOU!

  6. annemarie says:

    They’ve snatched Patrick!
    As if gorging on his enormous sausage wasn’t enough! These greedy devils will stop at nothing!
    Patrick, come back to us! Come back! We need you!
    Paaaaaaaaaaatrick! Paaaaaaatrick!

  7. PatrickH says:

    Patrick H— where did you go? you are the wind beneath my wings, dammit!

    I am too busy being the flatulence between Sarah Palin’s butt-cheeks!

    I’m back annemarie, my loon, my sweet senior strategic prevert.

    With or without a cock, THERE IS ONLY ONE HELLROD AND HE IS HIS OWN MAN!

    And without my cock, my own man is all I’m ever going to be! tobilynne, there’s a delivery with my name on it coming my way…isn’t there? ‘Smatter, Bex not do the beatdown on the Toddster? Bex? Bex?

    (hey PH, I have to insist on being the front part of the moose. This is a good deal. You will get to sniff my fragrant bottom while being hammered by Todd)

    You know, a perfectly timed clench of my firm hyper-exercised ivory buttocks…and I could have a new cock to replace my lost one! Turnabout is fair play, you Alaskan bitch! An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and your hubbie’s little dick for my own magnificent lost member….

    Wait. This isn’t working. That’s like getting a lump of coal in exchange for the Hope Diamond! It’s like getting Sarah Palin instead of Sister Wolf! No deal!

    tobi. lynne. Calling tobilynne. Talk to me. Talk. To. The. Rod.

    I’m waiting.

    P Hellrod

  8. PatrickH says:

    But I must say annemarie, that your idea of having one of Mark’s Minions…in Alaska they call them “homosexuals”, I believe, Mark is that true?…seduce Todd P. That is just so cool. I still remember at the reception, the way Todd was STAAAARING at me as I was deflowering his new bride’s puckered brown flower…I think he liked me more than her.

    Yuck. So that’s what he meant when he said he wanted to “clean me up”.

    Remorsefully now I think about what really happened that day O MAN IM NOT GAY IM NOT EVEN THOUGH I CAME IN HIS MOU…AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT MARK…BUT IM NOT GAY IM NOT,

    Patrick Hellrod

  9. annemarie says:

    Thank god your back Patrick Hellrod!
    Yes, Trig’s birth is quite a mystery and that sneaky little pitbull tried to divert us by insinuating through his name that he was simply the product of a love triangle. Octagon was clearly too much of a mouthful to pronounce, but perhaps not to swallow.

  10. annemarie says:

    I meant “you’re back”– sorry Sister Wolf. It was a typo. I do a lot of those. My grammar is perfect I assure you. Please don’t fire me!

  11. Sister Wolf says:

    annemarie -Fire you?!?!?!?! Please. Not after ‘Octagon.’

  12. PatrickH says:

    I actually had this job thing today. Kind of. And I slept. I missed you too annemarie.

    Could you ever see yourself, you know, maybe, like having maybe some kind of you know, thing, with a guy who, well, you know, doesn’t actually have a thing? Could you have a thing with a man without a thing? Is that even logically possible?

    Oh if only love true love still existed in this hard cold world. I WANT MY PENIS BACK.

    Don’t fire annemarie. It’s tobilynne who’s not coming through for the Smear, for the Rod, for the Sister. She is letting down the side.

    I’m going to start insisting that you dock her pay, Sister.

  13. Sister Wolf says:

    Tobilynne – GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR! You are needed!

    Patrick and annemarie – I want you two to be able to concentrate on your work! If you must have Romance In The Workplace, make sure you don’t come in late on Monday mornings, I’m just saying

  14. annemarie says:

    there wo’t be any sex between me and Hellrod because i refuse to be SECOND BEST. Hellrod’s heart is devoted to Sister Wolf. it’s beyond my control.
    but as for things– things are over-rated Hellrod. you’re already a herculean cunnlinguist and some day you will have your thing back. don’t despair. you’ll have more pussy than you can shake a stick at in no time.

  15. PatrickH says:

    I want a stick to shake at all that pussy! Is that too much to ask?

  16. Mr Lady says:

    OMG. I am dying over here! Will return with an awesome post I’d love to fill.

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