Sheer Awful Fuckery

WHY?

Forget about the crimes of concept and execution. (i.e., the fact that they even exist.)

Why the fuck are these awful pants called “Strapless Jumper?” Aren’t they already baffling enough?

It’s like they’re trying to kill me.

$187 at RevolveClothing.

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38 Responses to Sheer Awful Fuckery

  1. E says:

    Morticia Addams tries hareem pants and false tan – fail.

  2. Aja says:

    Damn! I should have done a better job of hiding your Hanukkah present.

  3. Strangle Pants, the pants that do the killing!

  4. Jaimi says:

    Imagine these but made out of leather with a drawstring, elasticized bottoms, while still retaining the sheer mesh inserts and perhaps also adding fringe trim somewhere! And it can double as a capri jumpsuit! They should hire me as a designer, clearly. Seriously though, who is buying this shit? My bank balance is currently slightly north of the price of this…thing. Rather maddening.

  5. sam says:

    not good

  6. My eyes have been burned out. I may never see again.
    XXX
    Suzanne

  7. BethUK says:

    If you want to simultaneously flash your knees and give your lady garden an airing – wear a skirt!

  8. Sheri says:

    Looks like RevolveClothing is trying to compete with the niche market that Shopbop claims as its own.

  9. maria says:

    hahhaa.. I bet they are sold out soon.

  10. liz says:

    I honestly didn’t completely hate them until I clicked through and saw the backside…holy hell

  11. Jazmin says:

    I can’t even…I just don’t….
    What?

    If it’s supposed to pass as a jumper, could they at least pull it all the way up to the boobs. There’s definitely enough material there to do that.

  12. Tricia says:

    “strapless jumper” – that’s hysterical! I can do a drop crotch, but a full-on harem, no.

  13. Ann says:

    Normally with dropped-crotch trousers, you could take a dump in the garment and no one would be the wiser. With the sheer legs on this particular pant, you would have no such luck, rendering this style not only ugly, but useless.

  14. eh says:

    Hey it’s great to have you posting everyday. Please continue. That is all.

  15. nzgirl says:

    hehe when i was at primary school here in nz alot of us would wear trackpants…one day a lil friend of mine pulled her trackpants up to around her shoulders and danced around singing “i’m living in my pants!” these would be perfect for that!

  16. kt says:

    LOL @ Ann’s comment. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t even find loose crotch pants to be comfortable. I need snugly fitted pants and jeans where my crotch can be kept safe and secure.

  17. Lin says:

    @nzgirl- great, now I’m singing “Living in my Pants” to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Off the Wall”.

    (chorus)
    So tonight.. Gotta pull them shoulder high
    and just enjoy these pants
    C’mon and groove, these pants got room to move
    Life ain’t so bad at all
    If you’re living in your pants

  18. Camilla says:

    Ohh hell!! they described them as “more wallet friendly”.. more wallet friendly than what.. pure gold!?
    Thanks for blogging btw! You’re super!

  19. gail says:

    one word – STUPID. oh, maybe two words – STUPID and UGLY.

  20. Alicia says:

    Strapless jumper? In the way a skirt is a topless dress?

  21. Marky says:

    Mother of God! These are vile!

  22. fashion editor says:

    those are a must.

  23. My eyes! My eyes!
    One takes one’s chances when visiting your blog, SW! hehe
    I cannot even read the comments. Perhaps I’ll come back later when I’ve recovered.

  24. Mariloo says:

    what an ugly thing!
    no words can speak for it!
    my oh my

  25. dust says:

    remove the straps after jump.

  26. Cricket9 says:

    From all vile ugly stuff you posted so far, SW, these are THE WORST. The drop crotch, the sheer panels, the legs that appear all wrinkly thanks to the sheer wrinkled panels – oh, pardon me, the panels are “draped”, not wrinkled… the demented people who put in in production and try to sell it for $187 should poke their eyes out with a sharp stick as a punishment. I also think you made a mistake – they are called RevoltingClothing, not RevolveClothing.
    On, the horror, the HORROR!!!
    P.S. Of course, platform stilettos are obligatory; why no peep toes, tough?

  27. Joy D. says:

    Ouch! Except it hurts worse because this would have been awesome if the contrasting sheer was included throughout the garment…maybe.

  28. Laila says:

    Oh my! I think the most shocking part is that they’re out of stock!

  29. Mara says:

    These pants are grounds for divorce.

  30. Sister Wolf says:

    Mara – Or even murder.

  31. Hallie says:

    Sadly, I can envision someone even my age wearing these. They’re really monstrous. The cut alone is so abhorrent, and then those panels … omg.

  32. Andra says:

    Cricket
    I read that as Revolting too ….. and it seemed quite fitting.

  33. Cat says:

    AAHAHAAHAH, laughing my ass off at Ann’s comment here!
    It reminds me of a “garmet” my office mates and I were trying to device to stop my skirt from fluttering up when we walk over some weirdly placed vents on our way to get coffee. In the end we all agreed a black garbage bag with two holes for the legs would do the trick best, while also allowing the wearer to take a shit. This, minus the shit-concealing option, is what these look like to me. Grab your garbage bags ladies. Editor’s pick: pair with some fabulous goat hair belt-skirt and possum peep toe boots.

  34. dust says:

    I’m still trying to forget them….
    how does “dressing your shape” apply to these?
    what shape these flatter?

  35. eh says:

    Hey, comments are closed for the next post – but I just bought a woolf and wish you the best SW. <3 You deserve the support you're getting from your readers, thanks for opening your heart to all of us.

  36. Nikki says:

    I’m officially old as I don’t understand much of what ‘the kids’ are wearing these days. I just know that if I see one more 20-yr old girl with giant Frankenstein shoes noisily clomp passed my balcony like a disabled show horse in a tightly stretched dress that’s merely a top, I’m going to start molotoving empty beer bottles at them. I still like high heels but the goal of wearing them for me & those my age was always to make the least amount of noise & walk as femininely as possible, hence our mangled toes, like normal women darn it.

    I just had to say that BethUK, your comment make me laugh so hard, I carried it with me all day yesterday & I’m now labled a neighborhood freak. In the market I was thinking I needed lettuce… for my lady garden. Snicker, smile, tearing eyes, child crying ‘Mommy, the crazy lady is talking & laughing to herself!’ Afterwards, at a local store I was approached, asked if I needed help & what was I looking for & I burst out laughing, wanting to say ‘Something for my lady garden. Have anything?’… instead I said ‘I’m fine, thanks’ while trying to stop my giggles of inappropriateness, but the poor assistant walked away red-faced, thinking I was laughing at him.

    I’m about to go out for errands, but after commenting on this, I’m laughing again. All I hope is I run into someone wearing a similar outfit to the silk underwear above or one of those youngens in clodhoppers, because at least if I burst out laughing, they had it coming.

  37. kate says:

    ann! aah ha ha ha!
    stupid ugly uncrappable pants!

  38. Anna says:

    Don’t ask how I came across this old post but you may want to click the link again now to see how these were meant to be worn.

    http://www.revolveclothing.com/DisplayProduct.jsp?product=GANT-WP5&c=Dec+05&n=n

    oops.

    Not that it’s any better!

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