Don’t be mad at me for being consumed with Amber and Johnny; Tik Tok videos with the hashtag #JusticForJohnny have been viewed 8.3 billion times! Americans have googled Amber Heard four times more than google searches for abortion or the Supreme Court.
It could be serving as a needed escape from the reality of our politics, Covid, inflation, and bla bla bla. But I think it’s just a universal drama that most of us can relate to. Most of us have had at least one destructive relationship under out belts. Most of us have wanted to have sex with Johnny Depp at one time or another. Most of us love courtroom conflicts. And most of us pride ourselves on our ability to spot a liar.
And Amber is lying her head off, right??
Yesterday I read a preachy essay about how the backlash against Amber is misogynistic. There are a few of these essays making the rounds. If you don’t believe Amber Heard, you are dooming abuse victims to silence or worse.
But I disagree. I think it’s because this particular woman seems so awful and nuts. My favorite quote of all time is the former friend who described her as a sociopathic show pony. Try saying it out loud. It’s just a wonderful phrase! I could not love it more. And I feel it is apt, after watching her antics in court. The continual head bobbing and barrage of theatrical expressions are truly bonkers.
Further, I’ve decided that her “lip cut” is a cold sore, and her bruises are the result of botox injections. Don’t ask me about my research or you’ll know how immersed I am in this crap.
If you listen to their taped arguments – and who tapes arguments besides my sister??- you can hear her goading him, using weird baby voices or laughing demonically. Johnny seems to maintain a tired and pissed off tone, even though his acting skills are a million times superior, while she tries everything under the sun to manipulate him.
I don’t believe the bottle incident because whose pum pum can accommodate a fucking whiskey bottle for fucksake? Without having to go to the hospital for surgery afterwards? Her crazy email after this pretend incident says she wants to rip him apart and devour him. Which cannot follow a rape by a whiskey bottle, in my world or anyone else’s.
And also, what about her hairdos? Jesus Christ with those hairdos. The farm-girl braiding, the fluffy loose buns, the fake disheveledness. I’ll admit I’m jealous of her tailored designer suits and the way she buttons her shirt collars. But the fucking water bottle…no.
Her intake of mushrooms and MDMA do not reflect the anti-drug stance she insists on having, and her use of Elon Musk suggests a fetish for powerful men. There is nothing sympathetic about this woman, no matter how you regard Johnny Depp. I kind of want to kick her myself.
Worst of all is her flagrant lie about donating the $7 million divorce settlement, which I knew was a lie back when she first announced it. Because I can spot a liar a mile off. It is one of my superpowers, like finding thrift store treasures and critiquing bad writing.
Okay then. Thoughts?
I hate this vicious c-u-next-Tuesday and, having been raised by a narcissist (and dating a few others), I totally am #teamJohnny. Don’t get me wrong, they’re both hot messes but I know enough people who have interacted with him and said he was super kind, sweet and generous (and not in a publicized way). It’s glaringly obvious he was truly in love with her, albeit thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy and she was in it for the MON-AY!
Some of the most hysterical theatrics come from Instagram and Tic Toc users! I became aware of these with, “ My dog stepped on a bee,” followed by others with words that rhyme with bee.
“My mom’s stuck in a tree.”
“I have a little pee pee.”
“My glasses broke and now I can’t see.”
Johnny’s no angel. But we love him, anyway.
I am thoroughly enjoying the original skits and theatrics from Instagram and TicToc users about this trial! I was originally drawn to these with Amber’s “My dog stepped on a bee.”
Talent flooded in and branched out from there.
“My mother’s stuck in a tree.”
“I have a little pee pee.”
“My glasses broke and now I can’t see,” complete with grimaces and weeping!
Fake weeping?
Johnny’s no angel. But we love him anyway.
I respect your opinion greatly, Sister Wolf. But I believe Amber 100%. There is no way anyone can make up all those details, keep them straight and have them backed up by so many witnesses. Most of Johnny’s witnesses were Johnny’s hired men who if they made a peep about anything bad they knew they would never find work in their chosen profession again. And hanging out with Marilyn Manson, a sick fuck if there ever was one, is probably the most damning evidence.
And no, I never wanted to sleep with Johnny Depp. Amber, maybe. But all that is irrelevant in a Court of law.
Perhaps they are both abusers. If so, then they both may write articles about being abused. Such articles would not then be defamation. The Jury is a total wild card. They may well be as enamored with JD as you and all the Internet self-styled experts are (not calling you the latter btw). We’ve seen the wisdom of Juries in the OJ and Kyle Rittenhouse cases. If it were me deciding, I would declare the article not defamation and the calling her a liar in the press by JD and his team the defaming lies and award her the $100 million she is asking for.
Perhaps I’m just falling for a pretty face but I don’t think so. We will probably never really know the truth here.
I think you’re wrong on this, Sister Wolf. Maybe this will illuminate your thinking: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/the-myth-of-mutual-abuse/
There’s no such thing as a perfect victim. She might be a shitty person, but that doesn’t erase what JD did in the context of their relationship.
I’ve watched/paid attention to ZERO of this, but thanks to you, I’m going to spend the afternoon catching up. Also, I was never into Johnny Depp. I think his man jewelry and sartorial choices, all of which seem to come from Maxfield, repulse me too much.
I guess I could get kicked out if I admit that I’d never even heard of Miss Milkmaid Braids until right now, reading your post. Johnny Depp I know of, and I like him as an actor, but he has always seemed too hell-bent to project defiant weirdness for me to trust him much. I did hear something about someone taking a crap in someone’s bed so of course I’d kind of like to find out what led to that decision, and now you have me kind of excited to do some research. But I don’t want to work hard enough to figure out which side I’m on, I’m just looking for some more lurid bed-shit type information to aid my escape from Georgia politics and the price of chicken tenders and gas.
Kinklek – Agreed.
Kate Loving Shenk – Yep, Tik Tok is on it! I now see the value of that platform.
Tom -Like I said, fair enough. But I think she’s gotten enough money out of her brief marriage.
Chos – Well, abut that’s only if you believe her accusations.
MARK-EE – I realize the jewelry is a non-starter for you, but the theatrics make it worth your time. I mean, even I can’t look at his jewelry!
Bevitron – I wish I could make you a highlights reel!
I agree with everything you wrote. What a liar she is! It’s so over the top that it’s hard to believe anyone could do it in front of the world.
I have watched a lot of the trial and feeling bad about myself for not paying more attention to real news. It’s like you said, A NEEDED ESCAPE from the real world, watching two very wealthy people self destruct and me realizing I’m more sane and better off than they are!
Ah, I’ve been waiting for you to post about this! And here I am coming ten days late to the party.
I too have watched hours and hours of it. Sometimes I just listened to it on my headphones while I did things like clean the toilet. I found it oddly soothing– that people who are so much MORE than us (better looking, richer, more successful) are in reality such petty, pathetic scumbags. It made me think that if we all had the kind of resources that they have it would be like Hobbes’s war of all against all. But we don’t: when people are hurt us, all we can do is get drunk and eat chocolate and *let it go.*
Look, I fucking hate Johnny Depp. I had no opinion of him before, but after watching his smug, self-important mug recounting such stupid bullshit all these weeks with his weirdly pretentious diction– fuck him. And the witnesses who described him as “incredibly intelligent”– he’s a dunce and a dullard and clearly suffers from wet brain.
He’s a sleazy fuck too. Now, I know love is blind and on a case by case basis I am far more open-minded, but in general I believe that men dating/marrying women more than twenty years their junior is absolutely a symptom of misogynistic culture. The bits where he congratulated himself for helping her with her career; the numerous times he called her “talentless”; the moment when the Warner Bros guy, asked to explain “chemistry,” said “it’s like being a movie star: some people have it, some don’t” and Johnny Depp smirked knowingly: it was all so slimy, so paternalistic.
One of them is lying or one of them is crazy. I do think it’s important to remember that Johnny Depp was always very private– very few paparazzi pics of him, none of his kids until they were grown, an interview every couple of years. This lends him some credibility. Unless he has lost his mind– he was so belligerent and passive aggressive on the stand that I wouldn’t rule that out.
Or it could be her who is lying or is crazy. Sure. Even so, when Depp’s hot lawyer made the closing arguments and said that Amber Heard had no friends and there was no one in the courtroom supporting her, my heart hurt for her. Is that not everyones worst fucking nightmare, to be so alone, so hated, so unwanted on this earth? Plus, I thought her own defense, the one she delivered while on the stand, was far superior to the one her attorneys provided for her. She’s more intelligent than Depp; he was out-horsed in that department.
I’m not “on her side,” but I think she deserves more sympathy than she’s had. She was in her early 20s when she met him. She fell in love with him, but he turned out to be drug-addled dickhead who thinks he’s much smarter than he actually is (those ppl are always loathsome) and enjoys the company of Marilyn Manson (eew). I’d have wanted to kick his ass too.
I look forward to the jury’s decision (by the way, can you believe that public resources went into this shit show, that real people had to take leave from their real jobs to do this?!). In terms of the specific legal issue, he has to lose– he fucked his own career up years before all by himself. She should also lose her countersuit. But the law and all those huge sums of money that are at stake never mattered to Johnny Depp– the whole thing was driven by his desire for revenge. That’s what I find so disgusting about this thing, and that’s why I’m kind of a reluctant supporter of Heard (tho she’s clearly a cunt too).
I did like her courtroom attire though– unimpeachable, in my opinion.
Em – I wish it would go on and on…we need it now more than ever! And it’s hard to imagine a jury that doesn’t think she’s a liar.
Annemarie – Yep, Johnny Depp is painfully pretentious and his smirking is problematic. But in her, all I have ever seen is a gold digger and social climber. Lying about her donation to the Children’s Hospital is just the lowest. She’s been good at manipulating Important Men and she will probably have more success at that. She is a cunt who should go down but agree wholeheartedly about her wardrobe.
Still, I will never get over you ghosting me; there is just no excuse. It’s so hurtful and cowardly. I trusted you so completely. My mistake.
I learned the phrase”non-sequiter” and also how to NEVER use it after hearing Amber Heard do so.
Didn’t early on in this circus we unfortunately heard someone shat on someone else’s pillow, which I found depressingly depraved. It made me feel ill and I didn’t want to know anything about these hot messes after that. I don’t think there was much more playing out here than in your average family law court on a daily basis, apart from these two being prettier than your average sparring partners. Icky and boring, let us all move on.