Tag Archives: marriage

More Fun With Senility

Last night I couldn’t think of Billy Holiday’s name when I heard one of her songs, and tonight I talked to my Keurig machine. It won’t be long now, I’m thinking. Observing one’s own senility as it progresses is probably … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Horrible Stuff, Words | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

The Ex Revisited

Twenty years on, I am still rattled by my husband’s fucking ex. Not only has she opened a tiki-themed restaurant too close to my neighborhood,  she has recently written the following: “There was a time in my youth, those long … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, irritants, Rants | Tagged , , | 31 Comments

The Fork

Remember The Nose War? Well, now it’s a fork. There’s a fork on the bookcase by the front door, and it’s been there for at least a week. Maybe two weeks. My teenager asked me about it, without implying that … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Disorders | Tagged , | 35 Comments

Arnold Schwarzenegger: What a Fucking Cunt!™

Godammit, I told you so!. I can’t stand Arnold and I have never figured out why people believe he is anything other than a big stupid moron. The myth that Arnold is “actually very smart” is just preposterous! Fuck! Way … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, News, Rants | Tagged , , , | 51 Comments

Date Night

Last night, the sons were both out for the evening and we had the house to ourselves. My husband turned on the Jimmy Fallon Show, which was showing clips from the forthcoming documentary about the making of Exile on Main … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Disorders, Words | Tagged , , | 33 Comments

Troubled Teen Part 2: The Road Trip

Two weeks after I turned fourteen, I hit the road with my boyfriend. A day or two earlier, my mom had issued an ultimatum: Either I stop seeing him, or she would call the police. I had brought him home … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders | Tagged , | 33 Comments

The Price of Money

I was reading some crap about Michelle Obama’s style vs Carla Bruni’s, when I was stopped short by this photo. The woman in green makes Carla Bruni look like a PTA lady, doesn’t she? Shiekha Moza is married to the … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities | Tagged , , | 26 Comments

The Nose War

When you’ve been in a relationship for years and years, you need to make an effort to have fun. Here’s a game I just made up, called The Nose War: There’s a little rubber nose on my kitchen floor, just … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Disorders | Tagged , | 19 Comments