This morning I saw the headline “Woman Says She Was Traumatized by Lohan” and my reaction was: Join the Club!
I too feel traumatized by Lindsay Lohan, and I’d like some compensation for my suffering.
I feel my blood pressure surge every time I see her vacuous smiling face. Why is that girl still smiling? Her awful blonde hair extensions, her ridiculous fedoras, her hippie scarves, her crappy costume jewelry, her jeans tucked into knee-boots, her sparkly lipgloss, and her stupid trademark peace sign…..I can’t stand it.
Make it stop! The emotional distress I’ve endured can’t really be quantified, but $150,000 might take the edge off.