Thank God, I Hate It!

What a relief to find some fur on the runway that I don’t want. These two numbers by Givenchy are repulsive, aren’t they? I’m sure Madonna will show up in one, so I’m already bracing myself. The one on the left looks like the model fought with a gorilla and won. The one on the right looks like the gorilla ate the model but is using her head as a decoy.

It makes me especially sad to look at these “dresses” because of the new study suggesting that chimps can make plans for the future and thus have an autonoetic consciousness. The chimp in question was seen hoarding stones to throw at visitors outside his cage at a zoo in Sweden. He collected the stones when he was calm, anticipating that he’d be pissed off when the zoo opened the next day.

That chimp is alot smarter than I am. For example, I ate three bags of peanut M&M’s last night, unable to predict that I’d feel fat in the morning. God I am stupid. I don’t even deserve to be in a zoo.

Getting back to fashion, I am pleased to see that gladiator sandals are back with a vengeance. This means that the hideous gladiator spats I bought last year will be right on-trend, even though I plan to continue to not wear them.

I’ll bet that chimp would have known not to buy these. I am more and more impressed by him!

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14 Responses to Thank God, I Hate It!

  1. Bex says:

    I find those gladiator spat things brilliant tbh. I’m just crazy about spats right now, but I daresay, like you, if I got them, I won’t be wearing them anytime soon. Just like all the high-heeled shoes I have !!!!!

  2. Tobi Lynne says:

    “He collected the stones when he was calm, anticipating that he’d be pissed off when the zoo opened the next day.”

    I celebrated getting approved for a home loan last night by scarfing down 2 cheeseburgers and 2 Pabst tall boys. I feel like crap today, making that chimp a lot smarter than I as well.

  3. Oh my the fur thing is vile, mind you I’ll be carrying peanus around to throw at the creatures who wear them – just to remind them they are in the zoo.

    I’d live in a cage just to eat 3 bags fo M&Ms in a row. Sell the glads on ebay!

  4. I meant peanuts – somehow peanus seems either a) a freudian slip or b) a pretentious faux latin thing. Faux is pretentious too.

  5. I have very few fashion rules, but one is to avoid wearing anything that makes me resemble a gorilla, so I’m with you on the Givenchy, although I expect Chloe Sevigny or Leigh Lezark will be trotting around Paris in it tomorrow.

  6. JK says:

    Well if she did “win” her fight with the gorilla, she managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

    Thanks too, by the way.

  7. Deni says:

    I have no fashion sense other than I don’t like conformity, and I don’t like cruelty (as in exploiting animals, children, and the working poor – as in sweat shops) for fashion’s sake. I wish I could help the chimp gather stones so he can hurl them at the looky-loos since I don’t believe that animals should be in cages either. I try to apply the “golden rule” to all life forms except deadly bacteria, or insects that carry deadly or debilitating bacteria, virus, etc. I always used to say we can borrow from nature but we don’t have to steal from her. Aren’t we, as a race, smart enough to come up with alternatives to leather and fur, that we don’t have to cause death and destruction for a flash-in-the-pan fashion fad?
    Anyway what do I know? I bought, not to long ago, a $10 army green vinyl handbag and I’m thrilled with it!

  8. hammiesays says:

    The girl on the right is wearing a merkin> See? I told you that Bush was back!

  9. crocodilian says:

    An even more hideous take on great ape couture:

    I can’t believe there were enough designers doing that to merit a slideshow! Although I don’t wear real fur or leather, I do love a good fake. However… someone would have to pay me with a treasure chest full of gold doubloons before I’d wear sleeves made out of Robin Williams’s arm hair.

  10. those spats are killing me! and yuk to the givenchy.

  11. Mark says:

    I once saw a monkey fur jacket for sale in Mexico. Really repulsive. It looked like the skin of a hairy man.

  12. Sister Wolf says:

    Bex -Shall we make some sort of pact about our high heels??

    Tobi Lynne – Hooray for you! If I had a beer, I’d raise it to your new house.

    Make Do -Hahahahaha!

    Iheartfashion – You’re right!

    JK – Well said. xo

    Deni – As we hurtle toward the apocalypse, we will all be wraped in fur and leather. It’s already starting.

    Hammie -Bush is always in fashion.

    crocodilian – Oh god, Robin Williams the Missing Link!

    fashion herald – What the hell was I thinking?

    Mark – I think I may have briefly owned one of those when I was too young to know better. Don’t tell anyone.

  13. susie_bubble says:

    Monkey fur/goat hair continues to baffle me to no end…. admittedly the Givenchy dresses were stunning in person…. look better from the back!

  14. Someone Else says:

    You’re funny and you’re right. This is the most disgusting by far. And here I thought I’d seen it all.

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