The Face Problem

When I saw this picture today, showing Mackenzie Phillips‘ new face, I was so excited that I sent the link to my BFF.

Apparently, Mackenzie   spent $50,000 on the new face, for laser resurfacing, cosmetic dental work, botox, etc etc. Look how much younger her face looks! See how full and fresh it looks, compared to the other face, which is clearly thinner and droopier! I felt a deeper sense of urgency about injecting my face full of Restylane and Sculptra. Not now, of course, but as soon as I can somehow get my hands on a spare thousand dollars or two.

Imagine my horror to discover that the face on the left is the OLD face! The new one is on the right, with the darker hair.

What the fuck is going on here?!? Somebody owes that poor woman an apology and $50,000.

I wonder what she sees when she looks in the mirror. Is there any way that we can see our own faces objectively?

One of my nephews once concluded after seeing Faye   Dunaway on TV: “It’s better to let nature fuck your face up than to do it artificially.”   Amen. I only hope I can remember that if I ever get rich.

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32 Responses to The Face Problem

  1. Your nephew’s a genius.

  2. Cheraya says:

    I agree, your nephew is a genius!!

    While reading the first paragraph, I was thinking to myself ‘which is the new face?’
    The old one is so much better.

    Tragic, really, and a lesson not to fuck with nature!

  3. that’s it?

    maybe she’s still doing drugs? drug face is the hardest face to make over. Now she looks like the knocked up bethenny frankel-stein.

  4. arline says:

    She was kind of hard to look at to begin with. God I am a bitch.

    But really, she has always looked unhealthy to me.

  5. Faux Fuchsia says:

    Girlfriend’s been swindled. She looks younger on the left.

  6. Cricket9 says:

    $50,000 and this is the result? where did she go, to her local butcher? Actually, it’s probably offensive to the butchers…

  7. claire says:

    oh forget that, have you seen Jane’s new colouring book??… bet you’ll be excited to see her colouring in 5 dollar bills??..
    p.s. please make Prince Pelayo cunt of the week… I’m off now to wash my hands after looking at them both I just feel contaminated…

  8. andrea says:

    I saw her on The View yesterday and wondered about her face. It looked awful. Still has tons of acne scars and droopy skin. She needs to get a refund. Denise, Bethenny Frankel-stein is SO funny! Surprised I didn’t think of that!

  9. patni says:

    I saw her on TV too. She said she got the makeover to make her outside as “beautiful” as her insides. hmmm. there is so much to be said about that. It might be possible that they match better now? I hope not.

  10. MJ says:

    Speaking of flesh –

    Madre de Dios – I just looked at Sea’s LEELAND.

    My Momma woulda smacked me so hard for “expressing myself” that way that I’d have had to go through law school sideways like a crab.

    Somebody pray for that child’s soul, or something,
    RIGHT NOW.

  11. Oh, come on now. Be nice to her. She probably hasn’t been the same since she stopped dating her dead daddy.

    OT: Sister Wolf, thanks for your comments on my blog.

    Yep, Ronnie had the voice, THE voice… Estelle (poor Estelle, before she went off the deep end and then died) was probably the most traditionally beautiful… But Nedra had something indefinable that I’ve always loved. Someone left a comment on YouTube saying that Nedra was like an “Egyptian goddess.” I like that.

    And your husband sounds like a great guy. Have you ever posted a picture of him here?

  12. Suebob says:

    I had no idea that you could get someone to make jowls for you! I don’t need them, but I will keep it in mind for friends.

  13. Jill says:

    Just when I started my facelift fund! Fuck me sideways…

  14. Bessie the cow says:

    I worked in Med Mal for seven years . . . oh, the horror, the horror . . . after seeing claims pix from face lifts gone bad (the worst being death) . . . I would never recommend any procedure unless one was in an accident or born with a disfigurement.

    SW your nephew is wise beyond his years!!!!

  15. Ann says:

    I’m with Arline on this one for sure.

    Furthermore, if you put a gun to my head, I would not have been able to tell you which was the “before” and which was the “after.” I’m so grateful you told us, or I know I would have wasted precious hours trying to figure it out.

  16. erika says:

    That’s a shame. I have a friend who told me about another girl we know who is getting work donw. Laser peels, boob lift, tummy tuck. I never understand that. The worst to me is that she’s fat but she’s getting a tummy tuck. So you’ll be fat still with an artificially flat stomach. I knew another woman who got lipo when she was 100 punds overweight. She spent 20k, she wasn’t rich. I have no idea where whe got the money but she gained it all back. Makes no sense. You end up looking like a fake cartoon version of a human and for what ?? I plan to never get anything done. Keep moisturizing, eating vegetables and cross my fingers.

    You, by the way, look fabulous. You will not need anything. Good genes.

  17. I’m going with the nephew’s pronouncement, all the way!

  18. Iron Chic says:

    Oh, I know. That face is my nightmare.
    I don’t think we see our faces objectively, that is why there is so much frightening plastic surgery out there.
    And you can’t un-surgery it when it’s done. Scary.

  19. Dru says:

    After the revelations about her awful father, I won’t hold it (getting a bad facelift) against her. But I’d ask for my money back too- she paid people to do that to her face?

  20. Sonia Luna says:

    What a waste of money, for that kind of cash I would want to wake up from surgery with Christy Turlington’s head transplanted onto my neck.
    Wise words from your nephew!
    Don’t you dare touching that beautiful face of yours, you look fabulous, stay away from the knife!

  21. WendyB says:

    WHAT?!? I totally thought the left one was the new face.

  22. dust says:

    problem face

  23. either way face is fug.
    poor dear.

  24. Alicia says:

    I would say “you get what you pay for,” but clearly she got a raw deal. RAW.DEAL.

  25. HelOnWheels says:

    I’m with Sonia Luna. For that kind of money I’d like my brain transplanted in to Linda Evangelista’s body.

    I too thought the “old” face was the “after” face. Awful, awful.

  26. Mark says:

    The really sad thing here is that since Mackenzie Phillips cleaned up her act (went to rehab, etc.), she’s looked better than she has in years.

    She had to go and spend 50 K and reverse any progress she has made.

    I blame that horrible Cari Anne whore on “Celebrity Rehab” who told Mackenzie that she as was an ‘ugly old lady.’

  27. Cybill says:

    Oh thats just sad, that girl sure has some issues. Your nephew is a legend, is that the same nephew who wrote one of my favourite posts on your blog https://www.godammit.com/2007/03/02/netflix-imbroglio/ ?

  28. Mo'Nique says:

    To Denise who coined the term “drug-face” (“drug-face is the hardest to make over”), I’m stealing it and pretending that I was the one who made up that sentence.

  29. kate says:

    While the before is certainly a more flattering shot, the after does exhibit slightly less wrinkling…plus the procedures she had done do typically take a while to exhibit full results. The hair color and angle just aren’t so great in the second.

    I feel really terrible for this poor woman. Stress will do that to your appearance.

    I think she just needs to get far away from the public eye, say fuck-it to her looks, and climb mountains or something. Rehab and tearful TV specials don’t do wonders for your face, and pricey procedures won’t do much to change that.

  30. Hammie says:

    Why doesn’t someone pin down Kim Cattrall and hang a lugie over her until she says who does her work?
    Why are rich people paying to look this shite ?

  31. tressie says:

    waaahhhttt? the dark haired face is the “new” Mac. well, I hope she remembers the instructions to blow dry her face daily to get the skin to shrink up, like a shrinky-dink, and fit her implants/restylane,botox,superglue/whatev’ they did to her. I honestly hope she gets some happiness. My husband has/had the biggest crush on her in junior high. I won’t ruin the memory …..yet. 😛

  32. Dru says:

    ^seconded the Kim Catrall suggestion….or she could chase whoever did Julie Christie’s work, that woman looks glorious and admits to having work done but doesn’t look like she ever did.

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