Comments For Jane 3/18/2010

Okay, it’s time to get serious. After reading a new interview with Sea here, and then having a look at her “other” blog, I see there is something going on. Upon deliberating, I think I have cracked the code.

Sea of Shoes is actually code for SOS! It is a cri de coeur from Jane,   begging the world to deliver her from her demons.

I hear you, Jane! In the interview, she is asked to describe herself in 3 words. She answers: “Dirty old man.” Oh my! Elsewhere, in response to the question, “Tell me something most people wouldn’t know about you,” she says, “I’m a big sicko.”

OKAY, I GET IT. You’re a dark soul with fetishes aplenty, or you’re a lesbian. This is why your latest entry at your “other” blog is a naked woman displaying her anus.   It explains the emphasis on tits and ass. Instead of dropping hints, it might be better to just integrate your dark, lesbitious side into your everyday life and to feel okay with it.

Jane doesn’t want your comments but you can leave them here instead. I will go first:

Dear Sea, Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Just be ashamed of buying all those shoes. Love, SW

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41 Responses to Comments For Jane 3/18/2010

  1. sarah.p says:

    I just Youtubed some interview with SOS – turns out she’s just a perfectly ordinary looking, rather awkward child.

    Just goes to show what thousands of pounds worth of vintage couture and a sympathetic photographer can do for a girl.

    Dear Sea, I hope one day you get to have a proper, carefree, unselfconscious childhood. Love, SP.

  2. Faux Fuchsia says:

    Dear Jane,

    I see you are taking a year off before you go to college. I’m disappointed. We’ve talked about this before-I just know you’ll benefit from a structured institutional education.

    Looking forward to seeing you fuchsia disco ball sleeved top.

    Give my best to Consuela. FF x

  3. Dru says:

    Please, please don’t tell me you want to be Terry Richardson (the person I’m most likely to associate with the words ‘dirty old man’ this week). You’re better than that, Sea.

  4. MJ says:


    It’s hard to be a teen. It’s hard to be an adult too. Don’t rush it, kiddo. You’ll have plenty of time for dark, brooding fetishes and disturbing art and film (all of which may or may not be overrated).

  5. Iron Chic says:

    Okay, who here left this comment on Jane’s perv blog?:

    “You’re too young to be posting this shit. Have you even had sex yet? Looking through this blog all I see is softcore porn, which in itself isn’t offensive if the person has some inkling of understanding of sex/fetishes etc, but you aren’t even legal so I find it hard to believe you are posting these images because of a genuine admiration for the human (female mostly) body or even art.
    Stick to shoes and leave the sex to the grown ups. Keep some of your innocence, you’ll be thankful later.”


  6. MJ says:

    I didn’t post it but have to agree – that is not the content one would expect from a fresh-faced teen with a safe, prosperous, ordinary life. Unless she is channeling Helmut Newton which would really be a news story! And A Very Special Movie.

    How do you understand that stuff at a normal and healthy level of maturity for her age? You really can’t (though you can know that it is edgy and hip in some circles).

  7. andrea says:

    Not a comment for her, but could she be a multiple personality?

  8. Ann says:

    I can’t believe Mom of Shoes allows this! It really reflects poorly on Dallas High Society.

    BTW, can we get an over/under going of how long before Jane bans comments on her lesbian blog?

  9. Sil says:

    Please, S.O.S., if u find any beauty in your posted pictures, get professional help asap. I cannot imagine a mother seing that shit posted by her daughter and not being worried about it. You can be weathy, but surely not healthy.

  10. Jill says:

    lesbitious is a new word for me!

  11. Concerned Reader says:

    Dear Sea,

    Who knew you were a Ginger Emo disguised as a cotillion attending, upper crust, suburbanite teenager? Just remember, if you start cutting, don’t bleed on the shoes!

  12. Dear Jane, if I were your mother I would be having words over the images. Whilst I don’t want to stop you expressing yourself as a sexual being, please be warned that you can get damaged both physically and mentally, more so as you live quite an introspective life.

  13. lizzifer says:

    Wow, kid is all hardcore and shit! Maybe she can pose for American Apparel?

  14. Poor Jane. My heart bled when I saw you playing with your colouring book. I wonder which is more age-innappropriate: that or this growing obsession with soft core porn x

  15. WendyB says:

    Woot! Things just got interesting.

  16. Seems pretty typical of the rich kids I grew up with — everything was handed to them on a silver platter so they were always looking for some new kick. They were always the first with drugs & sex (and yes in high school they were already into porn and kinky sex.)

  17. Dre says:

    omg this chick is crazy. her “other” blog freaks me out. is sea really a 17 yr old boy??? ugh.

  18. jennine says:

    oh i bet she’s not a real lesbian, more like ‘lesbian on my year out’ type girls. you know, the ones that have to add girls to their resume so they seem more interesting.

    i soooo thought you were joking about the anus shot. :-0

  19. Mark says:

    Dear Jane,
    I was flipping through “Departures” magazine in the doctor’s office today, and I noticed a photo of you and your whore-mother. I closed the magazine and put it back on the table next to the Ambien pamphlets.

    A year off before college? To do what? Shop? You really suck.

    Love Always,

  20. kate says:

    she doesn’t seem like a lesbian so much as a latent misogynist, who of course also hates herself. she looks like a young lisa kudrow with down syndrome.

  21. I’m going to subscribe to the idea of “latent misogynist” left by Kate above me. This truly sounds on point, all leading back to the mother, I’m sure.

  22. Liz!! says:

    Every time I visited Alternate Blog of Shoes, I would always get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. And I’m no prude when it comes to sex, either. But I have a theory that if it’s a fetish, she’s into rape fantasies….just based on the pictures on the site. Bodies, blood and gore, and women in vulnerable positions. Does she read Nabokov? (What am I saying, she’s a cultured genius, of course she does!)

    One of her entries had a picture of a man’s hand on a girl’s thigh and feet. It smacked of Kubrick’s Lolita…the focus on feet. Dirty old man, indeed.

    Maybe Jane is trying to be the next Humbert Humbert! That and her plastic animal/dominatrix gear obsession…..

    SUCH a puzzle. But yes, it somewhat disturbs me. I kind of like the “latent misogynist” theory…..but if it’s true, that is so sad Jane 🙁 Please go to college! Or if you take a year off, go work in a bank and wear a suit every day, or work on an organic farm! Get some life experience pleaseeeeeee.

    And I truly would like to see Jane break out of this mess. I’m not sure if this is a trainwreck I LIKE watching…

  23. M says:

    Her mama just posted some recession-friendly pieces from her own line on her blog that are truly a must-have for everyone!!!

  24. Natalea Hell says:

    Jane, you are not beautiful, pretty, good looking, etc. you are just a skinny girl with lots of money.

    The thing with your other blog, i just think you like people to think you are weird, and you like those pics because they are disturbing and you can convince people you are weird. I understand it. But it is stupid. You try too hard. If you wanna be disturbing, rape a baby or something. Your such a big poser, posting that shit in your other blog.

  25. Aja says:

    I take issue with people trying to tell her that she’s too young to post images of sex and oddities on her blog. High school was exactly the age when I was extremely curious about sexuality, images, etc. It would piss me off to no end if adults left condescending comments about how I was “too young to be posting this shit”. With all the images of this, that and the other in fashion magazines (that many of us buy and support) it just seems a bit sanctimonious.

  26. Dru says:

    She is, at any rate, legally an adult I believe (at least by now).

  27. dust says:

    Soft porn is OK, it’s controversial and expresses her curiosity about other important things, not just shoes. Nice old photo’s too, from the times when full bush was still acceptable. Go, Jane!

  28. Braindance says:

    ‘when full bush was still acceptable’

    Thank you Dust, for the chuckle

  29. Sil says:

    Aja, I find most of the pics disturbing, not only the sexual ones. Maybe the worse for me was the KKK women posted some time ago. I would be really worried if I had a son/daughter posting something like that. What I´m not sure about is if she posts it because she likes the pics, or because she knows that people will get tired of the rich-girl-only-able-to-post-about-shoes, and tries to look weird to get more attention.
    I also don´t get that of studing at home too well, as in Spain that is not possible, and children have to go to school till the age of 16. Could any of you tell me how it works?

  30. Aja says:

    Sil, I don’t find it disturbing at all. The KKK images are apart of America’s terrible history. Let’s not forget about it and sweep it under the rug, I say. I don’t think it’s her trying to get attention or be edgy. But it would be nice if she added some commentary instead of just slapping it up there.
    I’m black, for the record. I’m terrified of the atrocities the KKK has committed in the past (these days they’re a bunch of unorganized hillbillies), but I still think it’s Jane’s right to post images such as these. It’s not like she’s glorifying it, just calling it to people’s attention and leaving it open for discussion. That’s important! We can’t just all post pretty images all the time.

  31. kate says:

    Aja, I would disagree that Jane is merely calling attention to the images.

    I think she’s attempting to collage their intended effects into a succession of canned-reactions to form an ironic and removed stance that creates object fetishism out of violence and marginality. It’s the typical fashion move of making strong images impotent through half-baked sadomasochist posturing. The whole thing reeks of the too-stupid-to-know-how-apt-he-was Sid Vicious wearing a swastika.

    The fact that each image is titled with a thesaurus-ridden minor paradox only supports the feeling that Jane is trying to create some secret language or Lynchian mystery, but she has no life to explore so she tries on the qualifiers of objectification to feel dirty.

    If it looked like Jane was celebrating sex or being at all original or if the images spoke more deeply of a cohesion, the alterna-blog might be less ridiculous, but the ZERO-personality Sea blog juxtaposed with pseudo-pervy Leland …it kind of seems like both are excessively fictionalized sentiments.

  32. Sister Wolf says:

    sarah p – I saw a video too – I had the same reaction.

    Faux Fuchsia – You have the best fucking manners!

    Dru – MUCH BETTER.

    MJ – Wise words, MJ.

    Iron Chic – Not me!

    MJ – Exactly.

    andrea – It’s worrisome; I guess so.


    Sil – Agreed.

    Jill – You’re going to LOVE it!

    Concerned Reader – Is it too mean if I laugh??

    Make Do – Good parenting skills, MD.

    lizzifer – Too lowbrow, I’m thinking.

    Tor – That’s a point, eeow.

    WendyB – I will not allow woot, even from you, missy.

    Suzanne aka – Tragic.

    Dre – You tell me.

    Jennine – I only wish I were joking.

    Mark – What’s “Departures?”


    Natalie – Ah shit. We mothers can’t do anything right.

    Liz! – Yep. The best we can hope is that it’s just a stupid affectation.

    M – JESUS! the SIZE of it!!!!!!!!

    Natalea Hell – Let us hope it’s a misfired pose.

    Aja – But, it’s creepy, not ‘sexual,’ or maybe we’re just prudes?

    dust – HAHAHAHA!

    Braindance – It’s a great phrase!

    Kate – I agree. I don’t think she has a comment to make re the KKK. She is just not terribly bright. But I do think she enjoys having a shock value…maybe it’s her only way to get back at mom??

  33. hammie says:

    What do you call a lesbitious Oedipal complex?

  34. let’s wait for her new line of shoes named after her “Janus”. Inspiration? Black hole.

    well well well, sometimes smart people don’t think at all and Jane is beyond smart. Maybe we just don’t get it. Anuses are the next big thing you know.

    Okay seriously, I don’t think Jane is a lesbian. She’s an artist, and most of the time her mind wanders from shoes to anus to fish and coloring books.

    or she’s telling us that she’s just a normal human being that poops everyday, the only difference is that she wipes her ass with a 5 dollar bill.

    okay got to go, gonna bleach my anus now.

  35. Aja says:

    Laughing at Denise 🙂

  36. andrea says:

    She’s curating a artsy, hip, provocative persona as a contrast to the “goody two shoes” (or “goody thousand shoes”- sorry, couldn’t help it) persona on her shoes blog. Didn’t you know? It’s cool to be provocative and so avant garde. So above everyone else.

    Denise- your comments are hysterical!

  37. erika says:

    “Dirty old man” = DOM as in Dominatrix
    “I’m a big sicko.” = S&M
    combine it with the images from her other website and the fetish boots, I think she is covertly advertising services.

    “taking a year off” = I’m for hire

    Yep, How else is she going to stay in shoes ??

  38. patni says:

    well… i was ticked off that princess shoes had been coloring books and spending day and a half day trips. ( come on, a day trip is a day. home and back in one day. ) in Marfa, but then i saw that HOLY FUCKING SHIT
    sea and momma have been fashioning belts out of giant fucking bugs. it might be the worst thing i have ever seen.

  39. patni says:

    better link:
    this DISGRACEFUL heinous bug belt can be yours for a mere $600 which is more than two weeks of my unemployment check.
    I am off to drink too much. Who care about my liver. The apocalypse is HERE people.

  40. denise says:

    Haha she writes that she has “big news”. Wait for it… another pair of shoes! Surprise!!

  41. liz says:

    “she looks like a young lisa kudrow with down syndrome…” alright. I can’t stop reading these comments! I had never heard of Sea of Shoes before today, and now, I’m hooked on the savage mockery. THANK YOU!!!

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