The Horror of Ed Hardy

Have you ever marveled at the unmitigated grotesque awfulness that is Ed Hardy? This brand and its ugly stepsister, Christian Audigier, are not only repulsive to the eye, but really expensive, too.

I showed the t-shirt above to my teenager, who was speechless for a moment. I think he may have been scared, and with good reason.

This is a brand to fear more than root canal. This shit is everything a normal person wants to avoid projecting to the world: It says “I’m not only stupid, but blind. Just kill me!”

Or maybe it’s saying: “Hey man, I totally rock!” Same thing, really.

What I have learned from reading fashion blogs is that styling is everything. Just take the Ed Hardy t-shirt above, as it’s presented by the super-elegant fashion mecca now known as Electric Couture. It used to be called Electric Ladyland, but Jimi Hendrix probably returned from the dead to get them to change it.

Anyway, who else but the geniuses at Electric Couture would think to style it with a huge fake Chanel necklace and two tons of garish chain belts and Kenneth Jay Lane bangles, plus weird cargo-like bell bottoms?

Here is another look, featuring a Christian Audigier mini-dress and some fabulous, realistic pearls, with enough fake Chanel to make you forget about the shoes. Not!

Ed Hardy is only good for identifying its wearer as an imbecile. If there were any doubt, the Ed Hardy would seal the deal.

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31 Responses to The Horror of Ed Hardy

  1. Skye says:

    I was oblivious to the Ed Hardy invasion of our planet until I was strolling along one day and happened up on their store and my eyeballs nearly fell out of my head with the abomination of it all – I’ve been too afraid to ever google it so don’t know much about it. I sort of assumed it was some kind of insane Euro trash thing designed for Paris Hilton and Russian mafia wives,

    Very appropriately filed under “Horrible Stuff”.

  2. Imelda Matt says:

    I’d rather shit out barbwire than wear Ed Hardy. Actually that first top looks like my ass hole post barbwire!

    Please excuse The Despots french, but I feel most strongly on this topic.

  3. ash says:

    I hate that Ed Hardy guy! Those stupid t-shirts are distracting and interfere with my reality tv watching! Ed Hardy must go away immediately!

  4. SB says:

    My ex boss? The one I loved so much? Used to wear shit like that to work all the time. To meetings. With important people. With Vans on her feet. I cannot make this up.

  5. WendyB says:

    Oh, how right you are.

  6. Su says:

    Audigier is also responsible for Smet, which must be shipping crateloads of their junk to MTV for distribution to anyone appearing on any of their shows. Or at least that’s what it seems like.

    Make sure to read the “about us” page, also. It’s great. (As in horrible.)

  7. Robin says:

    Oh my god I couldn’t agree more. Every time I walk into Nordstrom, I feel assaulted. Who pays $90 for an ugly-ass T-shirt? Their prime demographic reminds me of Regina’s mom in “Mean Girls.”

    Su, I read Smet’s “About Us” page too… So ridic. I especially love how they spelled Johnny Hallyday’s name two different ways.

  8. Lola says:

    There was a great tv series shown in the UK where Janice Dickinson tried to reform a British glamour model called Abbie Clancy (google her, you’ll understand why this premise is ridiculous) into a “supermodel”. Id of the program she was considered to have achieved her goal because she walked for Christian Audigier in L.A. fashion week. In a bikini and a trucker cap.

  9. enc says:

    I avoid anything Ed Hardy like the plague. At least it’s not as big down here as it is up there, so I’m able to do the avoiding pretty easily.

  10. We are spared these retailers in the UK, I’d like to think it is because of ying and yang but then we’d have to lose Marc Jacob so I know that logic doesn’t really work.

  11. rollergirl says:

    Oh gawd, this was considered ‘cool’ when I was working in India earlier this year. Um, no thanks.

  12. Sister Wolf says:

    Oh my, that SMET website IS great (horrible!) Hahaha! What a fucking clown that guy is. I see he also has a line that panders to Latinos called “Paco Chicano”…Mexican Paul??

  13. wow trailertrash fabulous! the t-shirt chick has a rose right in front of her womb! 🙁 i think this qualifies as a don’t show your chocha. I don’t hink her tan is orange enough.

  14. Jools says:

    Great news! Racks and racks of this hideous shit at Loehmann’s.

  15. Bex says:

    It’s the same with what happened with Von Dutch which I cannot effing stand…it used to be about pinstriping culture as Ed Hardy’s was about tattoo culture…I just steer clear away from both. It’s disgusting. Plus that model looks like a fucking blow up doll.

  16. not my cup of tea at all. but again, some people’s trash are others’ treasures.

  17. Mark says:

    THIS SHIT HAS BEEN BUGGING THE SHIT OUT OF ME FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS.

    Recently seen on tourists from Des Moines in Times Square. Paired with UGG boots, PINK sweatpants, and that bad skunk-like dye job that every stupid cunt with a tramp stamp has. I hate people.

    I’m so worked up that I can’t sleep!

  18. Echidnagirl says:

    Thank you thank you thank you. I keep looking at that shit and going…WTF… is this a joke?

  19. Sal says:

    Too right. That crap is so … well, crappy. I’m perplexed as to how any living human in possession of full sight can find it remotely appealing.

  20. julie says:

    Agreed! This crap is awful.

  21. Didn’t Madonna help make this popular?

  22. annemarie says:

    i looked at the first picture more than once and thought, in this order:
    “i used to have a Guns n Roses t-shirt like that.”
    “jesus christ, look at the tattoos on her arms.”
    “that model looks like she’s drunk.”

  23. Sister Wolf says:

    Hahahaha, yes, the model is either a blow up doll or needs more fake tan. Her pink lipstick makes me feel sad, though. It’s like she doesn’t even know what’s going on.

    I don’t know if Madge made this brand popular, but she’s sure happy to wear the free clothes. Let’s see her reinvent herself out of that mistake!

  24. Honeypants says:

    Those “pearls” she’s wearing? Those are identical to the cheap plastic beads they throw off of floats during Mardi Gras. 20 years ago, those used to be the coveted beads. Now, they are only a so-so thing to catch. Mostly, they lie broken on the ground in a stew of beer, piss, puke and chicken bones.

  25. Ann says:

    Thank you for your clarity on this repulsive topic! You and I had a relatively recent conversation about Ed Hardy, when I asked you in despair what we were supposed to do about it!

    My God! If Ed Hardy clothes could make a noise, it would sound like a dumpster full of babies being thrown down a mountain of trash.

  26. hoochiegucci says:

    you know who wore a specially designed Audgier suit to the Oscars. Say no more.

  27. Daniel says:

    French Bullsheeet

  28. ROLA says:

    yeah ed hardy sux
    and rebel8 for gays

    try SHiROi NEKO LoooooooooooooooooL :p

  29. inkaddicted says:

    i am a tattooed person and i personally do not see the problem you people have with Ed Hardy. the man is a frigging legend, a tattoo god. he is ranked right up there with Philadelphia Eddy and Lyle Tuttle. he has some of the most well known designs and they rock. and if you have a problem with the merchandise, you should be a grown up about it and ignore it.

  30. Herpes says:

    Yep, agree with the guy (gal?) above: Grow up people; if you stuck up with EH, just ignore it. The man is godfather of old skool tattoo’s.

    Or is it that the Audigier clothing is just too expensive for you kids…?

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