The Perfect White T-Shirt

A long time ago, but not long enough, I met a handsome Cuban artist at a housewarming party. I had just read about the artist in the Los Angeles Times, and I recognized him, which gave him quite a thrill. I was mad at my then-boyfriend, so I encouraged the attention of the handsome artist, who licked the palm of my hand and asked for my phone number.

The following evening, we went out to dinner. He was wearing a white t-shirt. He began a long soliloquy about his search for the perfect white t-shirt. I realized to my horror that he was an idiot. He discussed his t-shirt obsession without a hint of irony or self-consciousness. I could barely eat. The date ended in a gruesome exchange of minor sexual favors and I was not surprised to discover that his paintings were all dominated by a giant phallus. If only I could remember his name!

Anyway, I myself love to find a nice white t-shirt. It’s hard to find one with the right fit and fabric. I prefer a classic crew neck and a soft, thin, stretchy cotton. So far, the closest I’ve come to perfection is the James Perse basic short-sleeve crew and the same style by Zooey. If there’s anything better, I want to know about it! I’d also like to remember that Cuban idiot’s name, but nothing will retrieve it.

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5 Responses to The Perfect White T-Shirt

  1. Mark says:

    I swear, I got a pack of Hanes at Target, and they’re super-soft and great and only like $9.99 for three. And I’m finicky.

    The only reason I went to Target was because US Airways sucks relentlessly and I got stuck in Pittsburgh for the night without my luggage. I could walk to Target from my crappy, scary, probably-the-location-for-porn motel.

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    I think we should make a pact to only wear Target or Comme des Garcon.

  3. Jools says:

    I love Zooey and James P. too. Unfortunately I must only wear the long-sleeved varieties do to my loathsome upper arms. Generra, Jarbo and Velvet all make nice long-sleeved tees. But my all time favorite is Golden Goose. (Italian and pricey) Their short sleeve is good (I’ll wear it over a long-sleeved.) Uh oh, I’m sounding like the Cuban dude.

  4. Sister Wolf says:

    HAhahaha! As long as you don’t try to get me to give you a blowjob, you’re not like him.

    I want the Golden Goose tshirts! Why did god make them so expensive????

  5. i love the list of ”tags” for this; Good Logo for a nice white t-shirt?

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