The Solace Of The World’s Ugliest Jeans

I’m watching the life feed from Ferguson tonight, like I did last night.

Ebola is “vastly” worse than reported. tribal slaughter in Iraq and Syria, Israel vs Gaza,  Nigeria kidnappings, drones on Yemen, Robin Williams.

Let us look to these jeans for salvation. They are the ugliest jeans I’ve ever seen in my whole life, I’m pretty sure. There is something magnificent in such ugliness, you can feel the artistic striving for an indelible statement. A statement that transcends all the horror of current events.

ugliest jeans ever

These long-rise One Teaspoon pants have an exaggerated, slouchy fit. Heavy fading adds lived-in charm. Hidden elastic bands cinch the waist and ankles.


ugliest jeans ever rear

And with open-toe stiletto heeled booties, no less.

Whenever you find yourself filled with existential dread or sorrow, look at these jeans. That is my RX for mankind this evening.

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15 Responses to The Solace Of The World’s Ugliest Jeans

  1. carla fox says:

    The horror!

  2. Salisburysteaksweater says:

    That is some universally unflattering denim right there.

  3. Bevitron says:

    “Hidden” elastic bands? What poor deluded individual came up with that?

  4. Suspended says:

    Incontinence jeans.

    “hidden” elastic bands bwahahaha.

    Thank you for lightening the mood once again, Sister. xoxo

    Stonewash is one of the greatest evils this world has ever known.

  5. kate says:

    the color is called “Fiasco”

  6. Dj says:

    I feel better already…love you sister thanks

  7. Kellie says:

    This is indeed a dark period of time.
    These delightful jeans are exactly what is needed to take the focus off of the current events.

    Elastic and denim should never appear in the same sentence.

  8. deb* says:

    I wonder how they would look on Kim K – somewhat different methinks eeeeeeek

  9. Eek says:

    You are right—those jeans do put Ebola in perspective!

  10. ali says:

    those elastic bands are hidden????

  11. stephanie says:


  12. Name says:

    What is charming about looking like you’ve shit yourself?

  13. Wow! How sexy are those jeans! If only I had a pair, I think I would have a string of men following me up the street, intrigued by my classic style and wondering how they can get into my super sensual, short-legged, saggy pants. Single ladies, if you’re trying to attract a husband, get these strides in every colour!

  14. wow. horror factor eleven!

  15. Pingback: These are the worst jeans ever – Global News

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