The Tragic $1,500 Sandal

DSquared Sandal 1500

Just in for fall winter 2015-2016 are these inexplicable sandals by DSquared.

DSquared Sandal rear 1500

Here are its ‘features’ as written on shoescribe.com:

Fringe
Metal Applications
Solid color
Zip closure
Leather/rubber sole

And yet that tells us nothing. We need those proselytizing editors at net-a-porter to truly capture the atrocity on display here. It’s a biker-cowboy-bondadge mash-up that no one could or should walk in. They don’t even tell you how high that heel is.

Would anyone like to write the editorial description designed to sell (or even explain) this tragic eyesore?

 

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5 Responses to The Tragic $1,500 Sandal

  1. David Duff says:

    “If you’re deaf, dumb and blind and lack a sense of smell- YOU’LL JUST LURVE THESE CLASSY, SEXY SANDALS!”

    (In tiny print)”The Company is not responsible if you trip over and break your neck, or your friends all leave you because they think you’re nuts, or members of the public pelt you with rotten veg because you appear to be deranged!”

  2. Suspended says:

    Rise above the plebs in these 5.5″ heels that evoke all the style and glamour of an Arab bathroom. Gently tug on the bath plug chain and watch in amazement as your fringing grows. Super handy for sweeping your dignity under the rug. Pull the zipper to unearth a small bar of soap for washing your toes after a busy day shopping with your new BFF, Kim Kardashian.These shoes are the life you deserve.

  3. annemarie says:

    I nominate Bevitron for this noble task– she has no equal.

  4. Dj says:

    Make the world your bitch, bitch.

  5. Sandra says:

    oh god how badly do I want to see the heel of one terrible shoe get caught in the chain of the other terrible shoe

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