This Palin Bitch is Wearing Me Out

It’s as if all life has stopped, except for a throbbing, metastatic dread of Sarah Palin. All the TV pundints are blabbing about her, or blabbing about how much blabbing there is. She hasn’t granted interviews thus far because Grandpa’s people want to see some “deference” toward her. In other words, she’s a woman when we say she is, but otherwise it’s sexist to notice it.

All I can bear to add tonight is that according to the Anchorage Daily News, Mrs. P “cited family considerations in deciding not to try for the US Senate. ‘How can I be the team mom if I was a US Senator?’ Mrs. P asked in 2004.

How indeed? I for one would rather see her honor her commitment as team mom. Or even Trigger’s mom.

I need her to go away and stop scaring everyone! She’s like Cruella DeVille with her lust for dead animals. She’s Nurse Ratched: She’ll fix you even if you don’t wanna get fixed. She’s Elena Ceausescu, who forbade abortions and birth control in Romania until its orphanages were overflowing with unwanted and deformed babies. She is everything that terrifies me about women with big hair who talk about Jesus.

I want to think about shoes! I want to decide whether I should get the red or the silver ones at Yoox.com!

In fact, I’m so upset that I’m just getting the silver ones. Fuck it.

*Order your PAP Smear stuff here

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28 Responses to This Palin Bitch is Wearing Me Out

  1. Imelda Matt says:

    At least Nurse Ratched had those camp nurses shoes! WTF, no interviews and how the fuck does she expect to be ‘team mom’ as the VP? Are they going to let her swan through the next two months talking about how she didn’t let ’em build that damn effing bridge and she’s go ‘small town values’?

  2. Skye says:

    The yuk factor grows with every passing minute. Can we throw her into that black hole they’re building in Switzerland?

    PS. Can you get both pairs, they are both fabulous!

  3. WendyB says:

    I also vote for both colors 😉

  4. honeypants says:

    I like the silver shoes, but those red ones are amazing! Get both! The bonus is that they are so pointy that should you ever cross paths with Team Mom, you could easily take an eye out with one roundhouse kick!

  5. annemarie says:

    Sweet jesus, she even LOOKS like Nurse Ratched!

    Favorite bit from Anchorage: McCain spokesman Rick Davis told Fox News the media didn’t show you enough “deference.” How much deference do you expect to get from Vladimir Putin or Hugo Chavez?

    Here’s the interview where she said “what does a vice president DO?”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oro2Yh9HoEM
    She answers all the questions with these weirdly ungrammatical sentences that are obviously cobbled together from pieces snatched from her press releases and briefs. It’s almost Miltonic.

    But shit, looking stupid on TV actually HELPS win elections in this country!

    Both of those shoes are hot as hell. I’d have gone with the silver too though– they’ll probably go with more stuff and have a better heel than the red. I like the dominatrix chain thing too. They be fightin’ shoes.

  6. Suebob says:

    The good news is that after the giant orgasmic Palinfest, there will be the inevitable aftermath of existential dread and loathing. Hopefully this will happen before the election, not after.

  7. annemarie says:

    Palin has her own action figure!
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/americas_sarah_palin___past_and_present/html/8.stm

    Sister Wolf, you should have your own action figure! Why does this toolbag have one? Imagine a child playing this this? Or perhaps it’s made for adults? It’s a sort of dildo?

    You would look great in a doll-size, with your pretty cunt necklace and those bitchin’ silver shoes. You would take her rag doll down. You would stamp in her face. You would bite and scratch and pull! La Loba would be victorious!

    Patrick H, is that a hot image or what?

  8. honeypants says:

    Yay! I just ordered my boyfriend a PAP Smear baseball shirt (which I will make him model), and I got a 10-pack of pins for myself and to give out to fellow PAPsters!

  9. enc says:

    Now that you have the silver ones, we can form a club.

    That Nurse Ratchet connection is a great one–I’m glad you made it.

  10. I wearing myself out with my rage for Palin.

  11. Mark says:

    The only good thing about the rancid whore is that she’s stressing me out so much, I’m losing weight. Maybe I can fit into some Junya Watanabe again.

    I want people to get the Palin action figures and stick them in every orifice possible. I want there to page after page of photos on the Internet of Palin’s little plastic head emerging from assholes and vaginas. I want Bristol to see this. I want the rancid whore and her redneck drunk of a husband to see this. Is this wrong???

  12. alias clio says:

    The reason Romania had orphanages overflowing with abandoned children was demographic policy, not religious objections to contraception. It had never manufactured contraceptives (Communist policy, to keep doctors employed; Russia did this too), and when population growth dropped precipitously in the late 1960s, it also banned abortion. Then, it began to pay people to have children and tax anyone over 25 who did not.

    Here’s a link: http://www.country-studies.com/romania/demographic-policy.html

    To try to link this to Sarah Palin and her religious/humanitarian objections to abortion is absurd. To assume that the same thing could happen in the US, with its very different economic, social, and political systems, even if she were elected (to the Vice-Presidency, for goodness’ sake!) is fear-mongering.

    Really, it’s a bit much to accuse Sarah Palin of naivete about international politics and then come up with this kind of nonsense.

  13. PatrickH says:

    annemarie: My Hellrod likes the action figure a lot. It remembers the model fondly. After all, she was its home for years.

    Already, absence makes the Part grow fonder.

    Patrick
    Publicist, Recuperated, The Smear

  14. Nadja says:

    Palin = Lipstick on a pig

  15. annemarie says:

    alias clio– Technically, SP has nothing in common with Nurse Ratched either. The link was made I think to show that they’re all a bunch of scary bitches, and that I don’t think anyone can argue with.

    Mark– totally shove that bitch up your arse! We need to COVER the internet with photos of little Sassy Sarah peeking out of hairy holes!

  16. littlelux says:

    i’m really becoming scared. please oh please, don’t let mcpalin come into power. it’s so frustrating, no?

  17. K-Line says:

    She doesn’t have time to join the senate (cuz she’s gotta “be a mom”) but she does have time to become president if that ancient old man dies half way through his term???

  18. annemarie says:

    look what those mother fuckers said about Obama’s attempt to diffuse the bullshit outrage over the pig with lipstick comment:

    “Barack Obama can’t campaign with schoolyard insults and then try to claim outrage at the tone of the campaign,” Mr. Rogers said in a statement. “His talk of new politics is as empty as his campaign trail promises.”

    Schoolyard fucking insults! What about that nasty little speech fucking bitchface Palin made? What about her sneers and slurs and zero-policy talk? Have you EVER heard such hypocrisy as this?

    I wish I had gone to school with Sarah Palin. I would have beaten that cunt to a pulp.

    Hellrod, if you don’t get your act together I’m going to take your cock back. This country needs you! Stop self-pleasuring! Start scare-mongering! NOW DAMMIT!

  19. annemarie says:

    And where the hell is tobilynne? Where the hell is the PAP staff? People! This is no time for flagging energies! FIGHT WITH ME!!

  20. Imelda Matt says:

    Here you go…it happens around the 00:25 mark…enjoy

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    Clio – It was hyperbole, but still…..if women lose the right to choose, wait and see what transpires.

    annemarie – If only we could go back in time, and you could beat the crap out of that crazy bitch. But we must move forward….PEOPLE, ANNEMARIE CAN’T DO IT ALONE!

    Imelda Matt – Oh thank god, you’re an angel to put me out of my misery. xo

  22. Ben says:

    Don’t forget that Mr. McCain is 72 years old. This would make him the oldest president in history if elected. At that age a person’s health can deteriorate fairly rapidly. This would leave… President Palin? From Bush to Palin? Is it possible to fall further?

  23. dewayne says:

    you bet your ass it’s possible. the fun’s just beginning….

  24. Sister Wolf says:

    Ben – Make sure you go out and vote.

    dewayne -HELP!

  25. dewayne says:

    help how? i live in a red state, and even if i erased it no difference would be made. i think we should all torch gas stations in protest of everything ever. put your foot down.

    refute existence.

  26. cker says:

    We may not have to refute existence if the bitch and old man get into office. She already has her claws poised over the button to nuclear warheads. Did anyone her what the dumb bitch said in her interview with Charlie Gibson? Not only is she clueless about international politics and our national security, she claims to be an expert on Russia based on the fact that she can see Russian borders from fucking Alaska! WTF!!!!! We need to start shouting, screaming, rioting in protest of McCunt. She is so frightening! She will get us all nuked just by opening the foul hole under her fuckin nose. Vote people!

  27. Sister Wolf says:

    cker – I hear you and I share your dread and panic!!

    dewayne – you have to embrace existence now you’re going to be a dad, it’s tough but you can do it. I will help if I can…xo

  28. PatrickH says:

    I dunno what’s happening. That inky mucus pus stuff that was leaking out my Rod is spreading through my body. I can see it in my eyes now, all kind of roiling around. And I’m feeling kinda strange, like something’s possessing me. Christ, it’s like agent whats-his-name in the X-Files!

    I’m being possessed by my own penis!

    What the fuck is happening to me–

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