Long ago, in a galaxy known as Coggles.com, I was dazzled by a Vivienne Westwood tiara with little diamante devil horns. It was a replica of the one Viv wore to meet the Queen of England. It was way out of my price range, but I was brokenhearted when it disappeared from the website.
Now that I’ve decided to renounce internet shopping, I have come upon this tiara again.
Fuck. Is it a test of my character, by god or the devil? Is it a cosmic joke on me? Or is it simply a fucking bummer?
I want these devil horns. I need them. I could wear them with everything, or nothing. They were obviously meant just for me. They cost around $450.
I know in the rational part of my brain that they won’t bring happiness. They will just add to the crap-heap of my life, the tons of hoarded belongings that could have fed most of Sub-Saharan Africa if their cost was added up.
But the primitive credit-card wielding part of my brain that reacts wildly to sparkly things is going “Oooh, it’s too beautiful to pass up!”
Can anyone help put me out of my misery? I need to be convinced not to make this purchase. Or maybe the opposite.
*Don’t worry, PAP Smear members. We wil reconvene tomorrow night. It’s getting uglier by the minute.