Ugly Jeans Face Off, Part 2


These jeans above, by Rich & Skinny, are the Rider Boyfriend Jeans and sell for $200. They have an unflattering yoke and sag in all the wrong places. Why are they called “Rider?” Why would anyone want them?

Even better, if better means worse, are these Boyfriend Jeans by Dsquared 2.


These jeans sell for $775 and I think you can see where the money went. Stained with paint and grease, ripped and patched, these jeans tell the world that you are both edgy and wealthy, gullible and shameless, spoiled, dumb, trendy and very very fierce.

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18 Responses to Ugly Jeans Face Off, Part 2

  1. jools says:

    Oh I’m hopeless. I love the Dsquared jeans. Never in a million years would I spend that much money on them. I would buy them for $200. That’s bad enough isn’t it? Anyway, I don’t think they’ll ever get that cheap. Hmmmm. edgy? gullible? spoiled?
    okay. but I have enough shame to fill the Staples center.

  2. Kate says:

    Those jeans are too cheap for Mother Shoe-dy Lust the Elder-idge Voguebot and her ilk, and nary enough holes. Rich and skinny! Ha! That’s how I take my lattes. The Shoe Family require Homeless and Emaciated at prices that could sponsor the entire cradle to grave trajectory of a village of orphans.

    Forgive the off-topic query, but were you once a guest on a makeover show like What Not to Wear or How Do I Look? It might have been something I made up in my head after starting to read your blog, as it’s so in character for you, but I distinctly remember someone with your cascading hair, red lips, svelteness, same voice and attitude-for-eons telling the makeover hosts off, saying you thought you looked damn fine, and bolting from the set. True or not, the shoe fits.

  3. sam says:

    No matter how cool I think a piece of clothing is I could never justify paying those sorts of odds for it…..EVER……especially as I’ve just bought a pair of Levi’s from a charity shop and ‘Dsquared’ them myself…..
    …I am smug as I have re-cycled, given to charity and exercised some creative gene in my inner psyche, all worth a heck alot more than $775.

  4. Ann says:

    $775 for that pair of jeans? You can’t be serious. Those are beyond ugly, if there even is such a place.

    I’ve never admitted this to you or your gentle readers, but I have a pair of boyfriend jeans from about 10 years ago when they were in style the most recent time. They’re by Ralph Lauren and they look just the way boyfriend jeans are supposed to: unflattering, dumpy, annoyingly and fraudulently distressed, crotch situated at mid-thigh, etc. I tried them on a few weeks ago with some fierce heels and some other shit I read I’m supposed to wear with them, and I looked like a tool. I put them away and skulked out of the house in l******s, fully defeated.

  5. andrea says:

    Is there something wrong with me if I like the way they hang? But you can get the exact same look with a pair of vintage Levis 501s. They may or may not be cheaper than the Rick and Skinnys, probably less than the D squareds. And I am so happy for you that your son is doing well.

  6. TobiLynne says:

    I suppose if you want to look like you have two sets of hips and a second ass halfway down the backs your legs those Rich & Skinny’s are for you. Those are truly bulgy in all the places a woman usually does not want to appear bulgy. As far as the other pair … speechless.

  7. meredith says:

    i could totallyl see where the money went….straight into the pockets of this genius…well, that is if he/she were actually able to sell these jeans to someone.

    i saw jeans on singer22 for 400$ and i thought that was a shite load…..

  8. Iron Chic says:

    My boyfriend would never wear jeans that lame and that is why I love him.

  9. dust says:

    Every time I see a description ” boyfriend jeans” I try to imagine the boyfriend. Dirty bony piece of ass that wears ugly jeans.
    I ‘d require much more that the price of jeans themselves to even think of wearing them.
    Bloody hippies….

  10. Stephanie says:

    I just found your blog today and have spent the last hour reading back through it…I can’t stop! It has made me laugh aloud multiple times and I agree with practically everything you say here, I love it.

    I actually have to go to class now so I will come back and read more tonight, but I just got to your post about the Love Me, Love My Doll documentary. There is actually an online forum for the men who love their dolls and it’s a pretty entertaining place to lurk. Lotsa creepy-ass pictures, too:


  11. liz says:

    sister wolf, i have to say…like everyone else, i love your blog. i too am known for being angry and ranty.

    but i tried on some “boyfriend jeans” in h&m [read $25] and before i could stop myself, i yelled to my friend “i look like a homeless house painter that just climbed out of a frikkin dumpster!”

    needless to say, i am horrified by what people wear and how much they pay for pre-destroyed clothing.

  12. Aja says:

    It never fails to stun and sadden me that people aren’t industrious enough to buy a pair of vintage men’s jeans and splatter them with paint droplet themselves. What a pitiful society we live in.

    I’ve been wearing one pair of men’s jeans for years. This trend forced them into early retirement.

  13. Over $700? They’re crackheads!

  14. skye says:

    I should start wearing my husband’s jeans, they look just about as bad as that, with the weird hanging effect.

  15. Bevitron says:

    Boyfriend Jeans?!? Maybe if your boyfriend’s a pirate, I guess. Do they come with a black eye patch and a three-cornered hat?

  16. Mark says:

    DSquared is shit. Whoever told those hideous twin queens they could design clothing should be strangled with a pair of those $700 shit-smeared jeans.

  17. Suzi says:

    I think boyfriend jeans are totally hideous… What I want to see is a guy wearing girlfriend jeans!

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