A Different Jane to Bitch About

Jane Pratt has finally launched her new online magazine and I want to know why something so awful and pointless can even get off the ground. Everything about it is stupid and bad.

And where’s Tavi?? Remember when this was going to be a joint project? Who is our Blogging Business Deal specialist? Please report back on this intriguing mystery.

Meanwhile, this awful Jane crap got me thinking about how there is really nowhereto go online if you want some entertainment for smart people. The Huffingting Post is just populist garbage, Jezebel is too full of itself and has too much attitude, The New Yorker isn’t visually appealing, Arts & Literature Daily has too many choices to sift through, pop culture websites are too geared toward the bourgeois hipster, etc etc.

Why can’t we have something good, with lots of thoughtful, funny, sophisticated, and provocative essays and photos?

I started talking about this to a friend, and tried to explain the target audience for this imaginary project. All I could think of was “you know, people like us: bitter intellectuals.”

He liked the sound of this overlooked market and so do I. I want to start an online magazine for Bitter Intellectuals. We’ll have a daily column about annoying words or phrases, obviously. We’ll have reviews of movies and music, critiques of other blogs, advice on stuff that grown ups care about, debates about politically incorrect subjects, merciless satire, personal stories of defeat and humiliation, and so much more. With good art.

Who would like to get in on something like this? Who has any experience in starting a no-budget venture? Who wishes there was a place to go online where they would never see words like “social-networking” or “game-changing” or terms like “tresses” or “locks” instead of “hair?” Most important, who has the enthusiasm to make me follow through on this?

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77 Responses to A Different Jane to Bitch About

  1. annemarie says:

    Cricket9- Well, you might be right. The reason it bothers me is mostly because it just seems so self-indulgent and controlling of the parents. Of course, they would say that it’s society that’s controlling, as though gender was a recent invention of oppressive state power. I really don’t know how much it would fuck the kids up, but I do think that the parents are probably awful, self-important assholes.
    Personally, I’m glad someone told me I was a girl. I’d have wasted so much time and been so neurotic if I had to make that decision myself.

  2. JK says:

    Be patient SW. It’ll only be a mere seven days before David’ll be back entertaining you.

  3. Andra says:

    People worrying that Storm (Storm – why not Spring Rain, Downpipe, Kitty Litter, Mushroom Cloud?) will not know he or she is have never had a child. Let me tell you they know who they are from a very early age ….boys will be boys, girls are girls. Anything else will maybe have a different tale to tell but that will come later.
    Don’t worry too much about this child. He/she has fuckwits for parents but he/she will either be a boy or a girl (probably) and will let them know.
    When he/she divorces the fuckwit parents he/she can change his/her name to Fred or Freda.
    JK: Believe it or not, I am missing DD too. Can’t wait to hear what is annoying the old curmudgeon lately.

  4. katiechasm says:

    Suspended — Ok, you found one comment thread that started with ‘First’, fair enough. I just thought some people might appreciate Get Off My Internets because it’s where I found out about this site, and it’s similar to this site in tone.

  5. Jazmin says:

    I want in on this. I will be your devoted reader. I really do hope this happens.

  6. Cricket9 says:

    annemarie, they do say that the society is controlling, but I remember the fuss about “Shiloh looks like a boy oh the horror!” in the tabloids, and all the crap along the lines of “sugar and spice and everything nice” about girls…including high heels and little bikinis for 3 year olds.
    I was severely chastised in school for kicking a boy – girls are not supposed to kick anyone (I had my hands full of chemistry equipment, he pushed me, so I kicked him) and for climbing a tree in the schoolyard. Girls are not supposed to climb trees! My mother insisted on growing my hair very long, which I disliked but did not have any say in the matter. I still think the the idea of the “experiment” is nuts, but to me the idea of beauty pageants for little girls is probably worse.

  7. annemarie says:

    Jesus, did you hear about the mother who injected her little girl with Botox so she’d do better in the beauty pageants? Awful.

  8. Erika says:

    I think you have to do this. See here http://hellogiggles.com/
    Zooey Deschanel has something to do with this. Don’t dislike her as am not familiar with the “twee” thing enough to comment but giggles, really….
    Also I want to contribute and promise if I do to get a grip on the language deal including my sometimes pretentious use of language.

  9. diana says:

    oh GOD, pick me. we could make magic happen.

  10. Sister Wolf says:

    Are any of good at web building? We have our writers and ideas. Diana, your in. Greg, annemarie, Ann, Woolgathering, Dust, so many other smart people and good writers. We have a point of view and a bunch of different voices to express it.

    Web designers, set up!

    I want to do the daily “Pseud’s Corner” a la Private Eye. (most pretentious statement of the day.) I’ll do the Cunt awards, too. But I’m open to all other ideas. We will never, ever say “pop of color”

    Can someone explain to Jesse K why the word “tresses” is unacceptable outside the confines of standard fairy tales? Thanks!

  11. mhdbass says:

    The Jane thing is disappointing and pretty nauseating. However, I can’t tell you how excited I am by the idea of your magazine project… Please do it!

  12. Deanne. says:

    Although I am fiercely anti-prescriptivism, I fully support your endeavors, Sister Wolf, because you are awesome and you make my day. Your blog is one of the few I actually care about reading these days. It’s sad most of them, mine included, are just glorified tumblrs, with nothing to say, no perspective to offer. If you need help with starting a website, I know some savvy computer types.

  13. Jaimi says:

    Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I usually don’t comment but I always come back and read. An online magazine would be fantastic.
    I always thought Jane was pretty terrible. Sassy was before my time. I don’t get the weird nostalgia for it.

  14. Dru says:

    annemarie – Botox Mom was a hoax, so it looks like we’ve been had…

    Sister – I want in too! And I’d much rather write for you than Jane/people like Jane.

    As for Sassy, it was cool in its day, but Jane the Prat seems to think the tone of a magazine aimed at teenagers is appropriate for a website launched nearly two decades later and aimed at adult women – and worse yet, that this is to be lauded.

  15. sam says:

    Oh, count me in….

  16. Suspended says:

    Sister Wolf – Please force, ok, I’ll change that for the word Persuade, annemarie to make a creative contribution. She deserves it solely for the invention of the word Qunt. Such innovation deserves recognition and reward.

  17. Janet says:

    I love this idea.

  18. diana says:

    yeah i’m so serious about this, i’ve been wanting to start something like it for awhile but never get anything done on my own. and your blog is one of my favorites even though i basically just lurk. maybe we should start a mailing list.

    also i work retail and i was telling my manager the other day about all the phrases that you never wanted to hear again such as “statement piece” and “rocking” and he definitely appreciated it.

  19. Mia Meow says:

    I’d like to join! As an illustrator/graphic designer I could help šŸ™‚

  20. mimi says:

    im not really all that bitter nor intellectual but i wholeheartedly support the idea of Bitter Intellectual and will form part of your devoted readership.

  21. Sounds peachy perfect! Bitter Intellectuals says it all.

    Am guilty of having started sentences with ‘so’ but an ‘so’ prepared to be strung up by a bitter intellectual, it will be a badge of honour.

    In fact you could have a ‘badge of honour’ award for those who dare to blog against the fashion establishment etc.

  22. Dru says:

    Sister – of all the pop-culture-y blogs out there, I actually quite like this one: http://www.nogoodforme.com.

    It might have large amounts of cool-person worship, but unlike Jane Pratt and her cohort of suckups, it’s not moronic (I don’t mean to damn it with faint praise -it’s really quite enjoyable).

  23. liz says:

    She’s trying SO HARD. It just screams of trying too hard, it’s painful to read.

    I’m hoping the reason Tavi isn’t involved is because she realized how horrible it is.

  24. Vagabondiana says:

    I think Tavi’s ‘arm’ of the website is coming in Sep / October … I can’t recall the title but it was certainly something like, The Little Acorn or, I had a Little Nutshell … perhaps …

  25. Vagabondiana says:

    Although with a more recent glance, it would appear that now she is only going ‘to contribute’ …


    So what exactly is Tavi Gevinson’s role in the website?
    Jane: Tavi is going to contribute. We haven’t even figured out what her first post is going to be at this point, she might interview somebody. But she’s going to contribute to this.

  26. I’m in, if you’ll have me.

  27. Danno says:

    Bitter intellectual? M’kay. The bitterness is evident. Public assessment of oneself as an intellectual is not very polite. I prefer humility, introspection, and plain ol’ shit talk over self-aggrandizement. Or is it your wish to alienate us common folk from discourse? Sometimes the peanut gallery actually does have something to offer. Sometimes.

    Tavi grates my nerves like you wouldn’t believe. Get rid of her.

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