Jane Pratt has finally launched her new online magazine and I want to know why something so awful and pointless can even get off the ground. Everything about it is stupid and bad.
And where’s Tavi?? Remember when this was going to be a joint project? Who is our Blogging Business Deal specialist? Please report back on this intriguing mystery.
Meanwhile, this awful Jane crap got me thinking about how there is really nowhereto go online if you want some entertainment for smart people. The Huffingting Post is just populist garbage, Jezebel is too full of itself and has too much attitude, The New Yorker isn’t visually appealing, Arts & Literature Daily has too many choices to sift through, pop culture websites are too geared toward the bourgeois hipster, etc etc.
Why can’t we have something good, with lots of thoughtful, funny, sophisticated, and provocative essays and photos?
I started talking about this to a friend, and tried to explain the target audience for this imaginary project. All I could think of was “you know, people like us: bitter intellectuals.”
He liked the sound of this overlooked market and so do I. I want to start an online magazine for Bitter Intellectuals. We’ll have a daily column about annoying words or phrases, obviously. We’ll have reviews of movies and music, critiques of other blogs, advice on stuff that grown ups care about, debates about politically incorrect subjects, merciless satire, personal stories of defeat and humiliation, and so much more. With good art.
Who would like to get in on something like this? Who has any experience in starting a no-budget venture? Who wishes there was a place to go online where they would never see words like “social-networking” or “game-changing” or terms like “tresses” or “locks” instead of “hair?” Most important, who has the enthusiasm to make me follow through on this?
you may want to check out this blog…
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/
“Most important, who has the enthusiasm to make me follow through on this?” I think you mean most importantly.
Sista Coyote – I’m glad you brought this up. I do NOT mean ‘most importantly’ because even though this usage is popular, it is incorrect.
“Many writers will use the adverb form, “importantly,” thinking that the phrase modifies a verb in the main clause; usually, however, that is not the case. The phrase will almost invariably modify, adjectivally, the entire clause, and the adjective form, “important,” will suffice. Burchfield says that “more importantly” was a despised construction during the 1970s and 80s, but that nowadays both phrases seem be used about equally and with equal acceptability.”
source: The New Fowler’s Modern English Usage edited by R.W. Burchfield. Clarendon Press: Oxford, England. 1996.
TheHairpin.com is sort of like xoJane, but good; http://getoffmyinternets.net/ is a constant source of lols and thoughtful comments from bitter people. The Hairpin is very funny at times (Edith Zimmerman posts) but it can lean a bit earnest.
the girl who wrote her little story on being attracted to terry richardson because he had sex with a sheep, and then years later got her own sexual fantasy fulfilled by him was the most hideous piece of sh!t i have read in quite some time.
the whole website is pretentious and badly written.
I cannot believe people get PAID to write that badly (the only decent article I’ve seen on the site is the one by the girl whose rapist added her on Facebook).
Apparently Jane Pratt claims that her site is all about her writers’ personal shit, but I wish someone would sit her down and tell her that “personal” doesn’t always = interesting. Especially when every single one of the writers sound the same.
And Sister, if you ever do start that magazine, can you please impose a moratorium on faux-cutesy blog language?
We can put “rad” and “sick” at the top of the list (unless of course, we’re referring to people actually being ill), along with “totes” and all manner of other bloggerisms that I forget about but will probably encounter the minute I go on another blog.
The only places that seemed to be free of it were the NYT’s fashion blog, where everyone from the ed to the commenters knew what they were talking about (I still have fond memories of it c. 2008) but then it’s the New York Times. Oh, and sometimes I really enjoy the Guardian’s Comment Is Free, things get really lively up there but it does have its share of idiots.
Mimi -Horrible. The worst.
Bitter intellectual. I can see myself using that as a way to describe myself.
I like to stop by http://thenewinquiry.com/
Thank you for the grammar note. I use most/more importantly a lot. Blame it on a lack of formal grammar education and learning how to write English by the rule “it sounds right”
I used to really like the Huffington Post. When did it go downhill? It was before AOL bought it, so they can’t be blamed. What the hell is this awful Pratt online magazine? If it somehow takes off, I’m going to be really mad.
I’d love an intelligent, thought-provoking place to go online, featuring exactly the sort of things you mention! I’m sick of reading the same old crap. I’m sick of writers starting sentences with the word “So.” There is no way bitter intellectuals are a niche market; we are everywhere and we demand and deserve something better!
This article explains Tavi’s absence
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/19/fashion/jane-pratt-moves-from-magazines-to-her-own-web-site.html
…and also mentions that Patti Smith will be one of Pratt’s occasional contributors.
Count me in. Whatever you do will be brilliant, no doubt. I’d be glad to contribute anything (especially word usage). And ‘Shoppables’ ??? That’s just awful.
I really wish I hadn’t read that Terry Richardson article.
Last question…me
I’m in. I can write sarcastic social sommentary with an itellectual twist!
So basically, your blog in online magazine form? I’m in <3
For this cause, I’m ready to leave my dungeon.
Today, while the last bastard of a war criminal is on his way to meet the justice, I feel extremely relieved. No, damn it, I’m happy! And free! From now on, all business of repression and demoralizing is completely my own.
Or, if you don’t mind, ours.
let me know if you need an editor… SO TIRED of the bourgeois hipster blog, which is why i come to you
“…sarcastic social sommentary…”
Erin – I’m not sure your use of alliteration is acceptable.
I would love to be involved. Although I am not sure I think of anything useful I could do. I would certainly come and read! bitter intellectual=me.
I am not going to read that thing btw. Terry Richardson fucking sheep is more than my mind can handle. I am going to go watch videos of human bot fly extraction instead.
I just ‘tried’ to read an article on that xoJane website and couldn’t make it a fifth of the way through.
What an utterly horrid writing style. I wouldn’t call it “personal”; it made me feel alienated, angry and vengeful.
Excellent idea. Please call it Bitter Intellectuals!
Bitter Intellectuals! LoVe it and only you could pull this off. Unfortunately, i am no help as far as moving this project along but i will definitely be a loyal visitor.
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
“Locks,” I sort of get. But what exactly is wrong with the word “tresses?” I need to know the answer to this question.
“http://getoffmyinternets.net/ is a constant source of lols and thoughtful comments from bitter people.”
No it isn’t.
The comments show no evidence of keen intelligence. Since when did declaring “first” to post a comment constitute “thoughtful comment”? It makes the commentary at Fail Blog look positively cerebral.
Sorry Sister, I quite often forget to comment on what you’ve actually written. I take your words, enjoy them and give nothing back.
I’d love to see your ideas come to fruition. This is the only blog I visit regularly. I occasionally visit others when I’m stuck at the computer feeling bored, but no other blog can hold me like yours. Thank you x
One of the things I love about your blog is that it has no brand angle. The new idea would. It’s very marketable and should hopefully get you a well deserved book deal. Please push forward and apprehend what looks like a great gap in the market. It would please all of your regulars greatly to see you gain reward for your efforts, finally.
Well, I qualify for the Bitter part, at least. And I really wish there was a place to go for all of that that you said.
Oooooh, it’s exciting!
Yes, yes, that’s exactly what i want/need! I’m brain dead right now after a very stressful day at work – but count me in!
Sincerely yours,
Cricket9, Bitter Intellectual ;-)))
I’ve been travelling a lot for work conferences recently and realised that there is no magazine that I can buy to read on the plane that actually caters to my fancies (especially when I’ve been on the plane for 14 hours and can’t quite summon the sustained focus required to continue my way through whatever book I’m reading). I tried to figure out what that ideal magazine would be like, and I worked out that it would basically be The New Yorker with a touch of general research journal like Nature or Science, and then with plenty of art of all sorts thrown in. And I want it all done with plenty of intelligent, withering and witty commentary
I then want that as website/blog too.
I’m looking for something more along the lines of “Mostly Happy would-be Bitter Intellectual who doesn’t really give a fuck”.
Have you got one of those?
I will never write ‘most importantly’ again. Thank you.
I’m in, too. If you want me to be a special guest columnist, I’ll do it. My special guest column will be called “I Hate You and Here’s Why.” It’ll mainly focus on Leah Remini, but I’ll throw in a paragraph about Yahoo! and maybe a sentence or two about fashion shows for toddlers and their feminized fathers. Oh, and while I’m on the subject of babies, parents who should be murdered and Yahoo!, I need to mention the parents who refuse to reveal to the world the gender of their recently-born child. Shit like that really gets my “I Hate You and Here’s Why” juices flowing.
I would love to read/write for Bitter Intellectuals. So much web content (including fashion blogs, ugh) is absolutely vapid and holds little long-term interest to me; it’s refreshing to find anything with an Actual Brain behind it.
Count me in. I would actually pay to subscribe to this, if you’re the one directing the content. Do it.
Ann – Oh god, sentences that being with “So!” It’s almost as bad as when they begin with Um.”
Greg – You’re in. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read about that couple and their plans for their child. They should be in prison. Fuckers. You are an advanced Hater and I tip my hat to you.
I read about the nuts who refuse to divulge their child’s sex.
People like these are one of the reasons that everybody should have to be licensed before being allowed to breed.
Seriously! The wrong people are having the babies and I want it stopped.
Well, I didn’t say I was happy ALL the time.
Are we talking about the Canadian couple and their kid “Storm”? I betcha it’s a girl, but, never mind.
Polish language has three genders, feminine, masculine and neutral. If my parents would have the swell idea not to “reveal” the sex of their youngest child – me, they would have to refer to me as “it”. It would not end well. I imagine a big scene with me screaming “Are you crazy? Don’t you know anything?! I’m A GIRL, A GIRL!!!”
this is new but good.
http://eyelashroaming.wordpress.com/
SW – I’m serious. You should do it and I will contribute.
I had a very brief look at the Jane thing and all that springs to mind is the word banal.
Any advance on banal?
Greg! Yes! I think we can all agree that the couple refusing to identify which gender their child is may be the worst thing of all time.
I know a couple who have plans to raise their future child “gender-neutral.” They are the kind of morons that only a long, protracted and very expensive American education can produce- this be a warning to anyone contemplating grad school, at least in this country. Among their many follies: voting for Nader in the last general election (forgivable in 2000, less so but still ok in 2004, and offensive in 2008– at least to this non-American who can’t vote and knows that America will never be France), telling stories about their wild youth when they were valedictorian of their high school (!!), spending a couple of years of said wild youth as a straight-edge punk (maybe the music wasn’t so bad, but the abstemious and judgmental approach to booze and drugs was just a way to enable them to feel cool attending punk shows and yet still turn in their homework on time. If a person doesn’t understand and feel the lure of self-annihilation, they don’t understand anything- not punk, not life, not their fellow-man), and finally confusing the fuck out if their yet unborn child. Off with their fucking heads! Can you call your new website that?
(Apologies to all Nader 2008 voters and straight-edge devotees, except I’m nit really sorry)
“The comments show no evidence of keen intelligence. Since when did declaring “first” to post a comment constitute “thoughtful comment”? It makes the commentary at Fail Blog look positively cerebral.”
Where are people shouting FIRST? You’re obviously thinking of another blog. I just went back five posts and nobody is saying FIRST in the comments. At least come up with a truthful reason for your disdain.
I’m in.
I’d love to help. Count me in.
What? or Katiechasm
I clicked on your link, so there is no chance of me think of another blog.
Truthful reason for my disdain –
http://getoffmyinternets.net/2011/05/24/jordan-reid-doesnt-care-what-people-think-except-when-she-does/#comments
I guess I must be a liar.
Perhaps your off kilter comprehension has you thinking the comments are witty. I’m happy to accept that.
http://www.xojane.com/sex/my-tattoos-make-guys-think-im-easy
This article about this chick complaining about people looking at her tattoos was stupid and whiny. I wrote a long ass comment for it and I rarely start shit with random people on the internet. It was like “People think I’m a slutty badgirl because I have tattoos- but admittedly, that was part of the reason I got them”. Please. If you don’t want people looking at you, assimilate. If it were a life or death situation where you actually had to fit in, I’m sure you could do it if you had to.
Well, actually I can think of worse things done to children than not letting the world know what’s the child gender. Wacky, yes, but horrible? I’d say no.