Because I’m Stupid

The only good thing about buying expensive shit is that you can sometimes recoup some of your wasted money on ebay.

Look at this Kate Moss ‘Groupie Coat!’ Why did I buy it from Topshop? Because I’m stupid, that’s why. I imagined myself as a 20 year old living in a cold climate, walking around like a big Yeti, looking insanely rad. Now, it’s on ebay.

Why did I buy this Marc Jacobs sequin thing? Because I’m so stupid that I must have pictured myself going somewhere and impressing people with my glam fashion sense. I haven’t worn it once, just like the Groupie Coat. A complete waste of time and money. For sale on ebay.

Ooh, what about these Paul Smith “Kings” biker boots. Wearing them would prove how moto, how tough-chic and just plain killing it I am. So what that I already had a million pairs of biker boots. Soon to be on ebay, and I’ll only get a fraction of the purchase price.

I have been out of work for nearly a year. What I’ve learned is that I am a big idiot who spent money as fast as I could, because I’d never made so much of it.   Every story I wrote brought me $500, so a pair of boots equalled only one story.   I forgot to worry about the future, or the people starving in Africa. My shame and my unpaid bills aren’t punishment enough for being so stupid.

However. While at ebay, I treated my self to a look at Mom’s recent purchases, and I was reassured to find that, yes, someone else is stupid, too! Join me in weighing up the stupidity.

This massive anchor pendent was $295 plus shipping. Gargantuan, isn’t it? I think size is key, for Mom. At least it isn’t a monkey or cockroach.

Now we’re talking! Pre-owned Prada open-toed boots, just $199 plus shipping. Are these for Sea or Mom? Would they wear these if they didn’t say “Prada?” I’m already feeling a little less stupid, but what do I know.

Another bold statement piece of junk jewelry for Mom, $85 plus shipping. Nice and big, even “glitzy” I would say. There are many, many more acquisitions of this nature that you can look for at Mom’s shop or perhaps adorning herself or Sea.

The thing about shopping and hoarding is that it distracts one from the void, from oneself, from the horror of the human condition but in the end it fools no one. In the end, you’re just an idiot with too much crap that no one wants, not even you.

But at least my crap is good crap.

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73 Responses to Because I’m Stupid

  1. I think the fashion industry makes us feel like we need certain items of clothing – that they will make our lives better and us look fabulous, and then once we have them, we realise they don’t actually enhance our lives. But still, we want more, and can’t stop thinking about our next purchase.
    Good luck with your sales, Sister Wolf. You have some great stuff for sale, and I’m sure that fashionistas will flock to your ebay page.

  2. Cricket9 says:

    I think the mustache is a tribute to Beau Brummel, the famous edwardian dandy; but – someone should tell Judy that while the ‘stache is fine, jacket, judging by the picture of the back, is not very well made, and jeans need to be retired – they look really stupid on someone who’s past 16.
    Nati, your comment was SO NOT in the spirit of Atlantishome!

  3. Nati Hell says:

    Cricket9: Yeah, I guess you’re right… Silly me…I should have written something like “OMG Judy!! You’re totally rocking the monkey belt! I love how it looks like is coming out of your crotch, that’s classy but wacky at the same time! Your jungle house is beautiful by the way 🙂 “

  4. Cricket9 says:

    Muahahahaha! Yes, you got it Nati, that’s the one and ONLY way to get your comments posted on Atlantis. You should, preferably, hyperventilate when typing the comment.

  5. Cricket9 says:

    Beth, I read the article. Un-fucking-believable – if Christopher Somebody could gush more, he’d choke. They must be all insane, and we must have our eyes peeled for the second phase – “master bedroom and kitchen”. If you have any unwanted brass objects, please send them to Mom; life-size brass animals especially welcome.
    I’m afraid I’ll have really bad dreams tonight…

  6. Sonja says:

    Sister Wolf – forgive me for spoiling the mood, but notice anything going on in Toronto? Just curious to know if our news makes its way past our borders at all…

  7. backspace says:

    “The thing about shopping and hoarding is that it distracts one from the void, from oneself, from the horror of the human condition but in the end it fools no one. In the end, you’re just an idiot with too much crap that no one wants, not even you.”

    Agreed with your quote above SW, i keep imagining about how much i could have saved if I did not spend half of my monthly salary just to shop unimportant things and I’ve started be more frugal in the last few weeks as I planned to backpack to Australia next year..:D oohh, and yeah in the end i was just an idiot with too much crap in which i finally handed the crap out to people who needed more than me but i feel free now, more spaces in my room, easy to clean up 😀 saving is really a hard work at first

  8. Eliza says:

    Sonja, I’ve seen pictures of police cruisers on fire and reports that 600 have been arrested in the protests. How widespread is the madness?

  9. Sister Wolf says:

    Sonja, I haven’t had a TV or radio on, and I canceled my newspaper.I had no idea…are you in or near Toronto??

  10. TheShoeGirl says:

    I have to say that you inspire me to buy less shit. So thank you for that. I mean…. I still love buying shit that I shouldn’t, obviously, but you make me feel like I should think about them for maybe like a minute longer. 😉
    At least I have my job as an excuse for buying shoes, right?? Right???

    xoxo from China.

  11. Cricket9 says:

    The madness is contained to downtown Toronto; I feel so bad for the city I love.

  12. sonja says:

    I live in Ottawa, my son lives in downtown Toronto – it was unbelievable. Thousands and thousands of riot police swept more than 800 people off the streets and threw into cages in a makeshift detention center. It was ridiculous, and scary and very sad.

  13. Mathilde says:

    I love you Sister Wolf! I would pay you to write if I could.

    Have been thinking of you a lot recently. Am so sorry for your terrible loss. I hope it helps even a tiny bit for you to know that you are very loved. I am very glad that through the magic of the internets I feel as though you are my friend (even though you have no idea who I am!) xxx

  14. RedHeadFashionista says:

    I love your biker boots. And, criminally, I sort of love those pink Mom boots. For, y’know, if I ever went to Rocky Horror.

  15. RedHeadFashionista says:

    And I agree with the Shoe Girl – you have inspired me to buy less crap, and to be sensible about hilariously awful ‘trends’ I see in shops; seconds after I look and go ‘ooooh that’s trendy’ I then, of course, think ‘what would SW say?’ and good sense returns. So thankyou. You have helped me.

  16. Jill says:

    The thing that’s working for me to stop spending so much money on crap I don’t need…I can’t seem to train my UPS man to not deliver when my husband is clearly at home!

  17. dana says:

    My husband calls UPS “the brown shoe truck,” and just laughs. He also says, when I ask if I have too many shoes, and he’s recently tripped over a pair, “NAAAAAH!” So for these reasons I must continue to cherish him. Best to you

  18. HelOnWheels says:

    SW, because of inspiration from you and and from Dame Viv Westwood I’m buying less crap. And I just wore a lace tablecloth (a family heirloom) the other day and got loads of compliments on my beautiful “new summer dress”!!

    SW, btw, I would hire you to write if I had that opportunity.

  19. Jill B says:

    I’ve got the perfect set up myself. My UPS driver delivers to my work hours before he makes home deliveries. He hands me my packages and I don’t ever have to explain anything to my husband.

  20. SACRAMENTO says:

    So funny, and so true, je, je

  21. Mark says:

    The boots went to Sea.

  22. Stan Basilio says:

    Wherever will it be, i need to read more about this particular post, thanks.

  23. Odile Lee says:

    I can’t afford to buy ANYthing but cheapie crap, so Ive been cutting up all my old good stuff ( usually good fabric, designer used- been poor too long!_ and sewing it back into stuff I LIKE.!

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