Oh god, it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it. Here is Sea, modeling one of the hideous new pieces of jewelry that she and Mom have recently “acquired.” Funnily enough, Sea wears the giant monstrosity with an Incredible Vintage Chanel Jacket that Mom “found” on eBay.
Don’t make me show you the other monstosities pieces that Sea and Mom have “obtained” by the same designer. They are all gigantic and garish: a squid, a baboon, and a bunch of other stuff you would gladly pass up at a yard sale. A quick look at the designer’s website reveals that these items go for $500 and up.
Would you like to leave Sea a comment? Me first:
Dear Sea, You and Mom need to stop this compulsive “curating” of shoes and accessories. Could you at least not brag about it while I’m trying to watch people die in Haiti? I think you have lost your way. Bigger isn’t better, it’s just bigger. Meanwhile, here are some other words you might like – procure, appropriate, harvest, reap, and attain. Love, SW
I’ve returned just in time for Comments for Jane! Yippee!
I’ve noticed that her poses have gotten worse. There’s almost nothing I hate more than the “O my goodness!” hand-over-open-mouth pose. Every time I look at the pictures I’m reminded of something readers here have often mentioned – Carol is so much cuter!
I think it’s actually better that she not write anything about Haiti. Her treatment of Daul Kim’s passing was irreverent enough. I’d hate to see what she’d ignorantly come up with for Haiti – “Had fun prancing around in my Chanel ponytail herringfinger boots! My thoughts go out to the people of Haiti. XOXO JANE!”
Dear Sea – From a stylists point of view the eye make up and red hair band do not work with the jacket and the jewellery. It is important not to make everything shout at once on an image. From a curatorial view not everything produced by Chanel is good or worthy of being found. Have you thought about Wendy B – I’d like to see you go for a ring and build an outfit around it.
Dear Sea,
Did you ever think that your commenters’ feedback may have prevented the pairing of such garish creations as a huge octopus and a heinous pink jacket when you turned off the comments? Your sense of style has only gone downhill from sucking since then.
Dear Sea,
Please find another word for ‘obsession’.
I love sea horses and sea dragons, Octopus’s Garden is one of my favourite songs, and IMO Mom’s anecdote about a toddler Sea having to be restrained from jumping into a fish tank because she was fascinated with the giant fish inside was really quite cute.
But if Sea really loves fish and things that swim so much, she’d probably be better off keeping an aquarium (which has the added benefit of being prettier than that travesty of an octopus she’s wearing on the shoulder of that, er, “jacket”).
You forgot one of my favourite terms for buying products: “SOURCED” as in “I sourced these tricky to locate vintage YSL green patent platform Mary Janes from a very exclusive shoppe in (insert location)”
The thing is Wolf Sister, I just wonder what’s going to become of Jane as she ages and grows spiritually. At present she is a whippersnapper, but:
Will she go to college?
Will she intern for Lagerfeld at Chanel?
Will she get her own reality tv show?
We live in difficult troubled times. I often think her blog holds such sway and has such a large audience because people want some level of fantasy or escapism….these clothes are for the most part kind of unwearable. At least in my neck of the woods. Is that why she is so popular?
Keep up the Good Work Wolf Sister. We love you in Australia. We do. x
Faux, imo the REAL question is, if she were to go do one of those things you mentioned; college, interning, reality tv, etc. What is her MOM going to do????? Tag along? sad.
God I wish they would come to Dublin – they would love “The Dead Zoo” which is the nickname for our delightfully undermodernized natural history museum which is currently closed after a staircase fell down. (and no one has the money to reopen it)
They could help rebuild it by buying up all the old giraffes with visible stitching and spilled out stuffing, and making them into hats.
xx
“curatorial” – ooh get you, make do!!! x
Hammie – stop it! I just laughed so hard, tea almost came down my nose
Ha! I saw this yesterday and knew it would boil your blood!
That scene is getting more “Grey Gardens” by the minute.
Mom and Sea pretty much have the exact same post about these giant-ass brooches.
For 950 euros, I can have my nightmare, the horeshoe crab, in giant rhinestone form resting on my shoulder!
p.s. Did you see she is featured in the new Vanity Fair?
Fuck, whatever. If my parents had let me drop out of highschool to be a professional blogger, I would have.
Queen Marie – my tea nearly came down my nose as I laughed at you nearly snorting the stuff out. If it ever does – photograph it and we can have a ‘tea from my nose’ installation. I’m all about curating and installation today. If I was about archiving I’d give Hammie a hand stitching the dead giraffes.
Despite the obscene display of wealth I find her somehow more tolerable than most of the other style-bloggers. Maybe because she loves the ugly, not ‘fashion-forward’ stuff? The mother-thing is eerie, though.
Dear Sea,
What you and Mommy Dearest wasted on those Kraken-esque monstrosities would pay for a year of my graduate program. Must be nice to have thousands to mindlessly fritter away. Also, that “coat?” The Muppets called. They want their hides back.
And Sister Wolf? You’re fucking amazing.
Dear Sea, you style has gone downhill since you removed the comments.
Also, *loving* your & Mom’s tweets as of late:
Sea:
“Skipping the shows. As a strictly personal style blogger, I don’t really think I have any place at fashion week! #letsbehonest”
Mom:
“went to Northark today-no parking spaces. What recession?”
(right Mom, maybe if your little Trophy whatever corner of the world. sheesh.)
Beth – she’s right, she really doesn’t have a place at fashion week….
But can’t I have the octopus for my Halloween display?
lana – yeah, I guess what I meant was she sounds like she’s *above* fashion week…
I used to not mind Sea and her mom, but then they started making ridiculous comments about how their house is too small to hold all their collections or posting pictures of Klu Klux Klan member’s wives as “style inspiration”. I wish one of their suburban neighbors would start a blog about them and all the ridiculous things they do at their “too small” house to keep their e-fame.
I googled Trophy Town. I mean Trophy Cabinet. I mean Trophy Club.
It seems to be a very WASP-ish type’o’place and has a lot of churches. I don’t know why this is. I also think it is a sort of gated-style-community.
I’m Australian and I’ve only been to New York and LA, so I’m not really sure how the average American householder lives. I guess Trophy Town is an exclusive style development where people have Hispanic housekeepers. Am I right?
Is it difficult to access university in the USA if you are home schooled? I know that Mr Aldridge went to Harvard….will Jane go? These are the Big Issues that perplex me over here in the Antipodes.
That’s all.
Dear Jane:
You really look like a hooker here, with the heavy makeup and the disgusting jacket. Add your Mom’s thigh high boots and you’re ready to walk the streets at night.
BTW: Just because your “jewelery” is different and big dosn’t mean it’s nice. There is a reason why people have never ever attatched squids to their cloth. A rhinestone squid isn’t good either.
SISTER WOLF: I really wish you could make a post about stupid Ida Filippa from http://www.the-filippa.com/ and her stupid weird as fuck obssession for posting pictures of herself drinking milk .
Actually, rhinestone octopi sounds like a great idea, Natalea, but hers is ridiculously ostentatious and paired with a cheap hooker rainbow fur.
As much as I scoff at the idea of Jane attending Harvard, as her blog has only proved a similar separation from grammar and syntax as much as reality, her family could certainly afford to override academic qualifications. Homeschoolers are usually of two camps in America – young intellectuals like Spelling Bee winners and backwards evangelicals.
jane’s becoming more sexual these days.
puberty much?
momma said , “Over the Christmas holidays I spent a lot of time on line,….”.
oh does she ever???? and to emphasize more? hahaha!
If I was a man, the only question that would come to my mind after having a look at this picture would be: How much for a blow job?
Anyway, I have big respect for prostitutes (prostitution is not illegal here), and no respect for this spoiled brat, so I would never call her prostitute or whore (they are sexual workers, and as long as I know this joke of a girl does not even have the word work in her vocabulary).
Madgrad, I was trying to remember where I have seen before that sort of fur, and you gave me the answer. Looks like Elmo dressed up as a Drag-queen.
UGLY
Beth — I agree, she did make it sound like she was *above* fashion week, which is such a joke, I agree. I don’t think she belongs there… having money and buying expensive things doesn’t automatically qualify you as ‘fashionable’….
sea of shit has been bothering me like crazy lately. those rhinestone things would look nice hanging from a ceiling in a nursery room though…
the scrunchy is the true aggravation. ugh. who wears a matching pink scrunchy with chanel?
she is NOT from central america…
also: glean, amass, adopt
you can bet your ass they’re going to start “adopting” clothing pieces soon.
Dear Sea,
Just because it says ‘Chanel’ or ‘YSL’ on it somewhere, it does not make it worth buying.
She could just well have photoshopped the spider on her Gremlins costume and saved the $500. The combo looks ridiculous all the same, although I might wear the Gremlins jacket without blinking, should I feel like letting whoever organized the party to know I’m only attending because I was forced to and to make her know that deep down I think she is a dull cunt who could use some colour in her life. Or his.
As for Haiti, the Danish television ruined the experience for me. Of course some blondish Dane had to have himself buried in the ruins of the UN building for 5 days, saving his urine in a cup, before getting miraculously saved and invading all the channels with his parents. So much for watching Haitian mothers cry for their dead children..
But I gave money (a tent and whatever comes along with it for a family of 5), which, I think, has earned me the right to shout “Fuck Off” to everyone begging for donations on the streets.
Dear Shit of Shoes,
Poor Yeti, working now as Drag Queen, has gone to the nearest police station to make a formal complaint about the theft of his fur. Could you pls send it back to him? Himalaia is really cold in winter.
Always laughing about your endless stupidness,
Sil
Dear Sea and Sea’s Whore Mother:
Stop it.
Love,
Mark
Mark
Cut out the ‘whore’ bit for now, please? We get the message- you like the word!
Love
Dru
Dear Sea & Mom,
you should just STOP IT. NOW.
Also, please, give the Haitians at least 1% of your weekly curating budget and you might feel better about that than about the next disgusting crap you’re *acquiring* that you’re calling fashion.
Love,
Mia
To be fair to Sea, the giant shrimp is cute, and I like the squid too. The baboon and octopus, though- those remain godawful IMHO.
Dru, You’re a fucking whore.
Love,
Mark
Mark, if I’m a whore, you’re a gigolo.
Love
Dru