Comments For Jane 3/28/2010

Sea has been on the road with Dad, I think to SXSW to hear some awful new bands. She got to hang out with her Asian-ish friend Ronald, but really the main event was her new boots by Maison Martin Margiela, available now at net-a-porter for $1245.00

Do we think that these boots were a free gift from Martin Margiela? Because otherwise, the shoe bill in this family for just the last month is astronomical. Oh well, what’s money, right?   In other news, Sea is super excited about being identified as a “pervert” on a fasion blog. She’s really arrived! She’s practically Madonna! It’s fun to have a naughty reputation! Plus, you can keep hoarding shoes while you cultivate the pervert thing!

I’m getting tired of Sea, to tell you the truth. I only want to keep a tab on the shoe expenditure. The story seems to have stalled, hasn’t it? I need some plot development, some forward movement. I might have to start inventing a narrative for Sea and Mom unless they can crank up the pace.

Sea doesn’t care what you think. She wants you to look at her and her expensive shoes, to hear about Ronnie and all the nice hotels she stays in, but if you have an opinion you can fucking well keep it to yourself. Or, you can leave it here. I will go first:

Dear Sea, I am losing interest in you but all is not lost. Mom’s gigantic metal beetle belt is making me think that maybe Mom is the real story here. Would you feel bad if I start making up adventures for you and Mom? I could have Carol appear at the end of each one to deliver a moral lesson. Think it over. Love, SW.   P.S. Enough with the red hair.

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19 Responses to Comments For Jane 3/28/2010

  1. Dear Sea, you are no longer Jane to me since your pervert status has become more important than the shoes. In fact its soiling the shoes. I keep thinking what position you might be in wearing them and it’s not a good look. I think we need Carol to come through for us now as Sister Wolf suggest. I’m quite sad Mom prefers her beetle belts to giving you a belting for being so naughty!

  2. Faux Fuchsia says:

    Dear Jane,

    How do you protect the heels of your ‘spensive boots when walking through those sharp jaggedy rocks? Were you worried they’d get wrecked?

    I have to admit I am losing a bit of interest in you, whereas your Mum continues to fascinate.

    Is the beetle belt heavy? Do you think it Challenges the Paradigm ( My New Nonsensical Fashion Phrase that I will be overusing like there’s no tomorrow)

    Give my love to Carole and Consuela, All the Best, FF x

  3. Iron Chic says:

    Dear Sea,
    Who goes to rock shows dressed like a dubutante?!
    Hopefully when you mature, you will be embarassed by shameless displays of wealth.
    I would have been the gothling in the corner making fun of you and your store bought “fashion.”

  4. Ann says:

    Now thanks to that “perverted and edgy underground blog” of hers, this is all that comes to mind:

    Jane = anus

  5. Suspended says:

    Haha, Ann………Jane + anus = Janus

    I don’t even look at Sea anymore. I just read whats not happening, here.

    I’ve suspected free shoes for quite some time. Not because I think they can’t afford them but just because designers seems so shameless and desperate these days. This should be considered far, far sadder than anything Janus does on her Sea blog or her female-form perversion blog.

    I guess one thing in her favour is her lack of begging. I HATE begging bloggers…”such and such sent me an email about these and if I could own one it would be in the green or maybe the black.” Oh, fuck off!

  6. Suspended says:

    P.S. Those boots are kitsch. All they’re missing is a picture of Lady Miss Kier, a plastic rose and some glitter, then they’d be Pierre et Gilles (and possibly a whole lot cooler.)

  7. natalea hell says:

    “I could have Carol appear at the end of each one to deliver a moral lesson. Think it over. Love, SW. P.S. Enough with the red hair.”


    Dear Sea,
    Your boots are ugly.


  8. dust says:

    At first I thought that she played us, if she was looking for the attention, we gave it, even if not (smiley). But, since it is clear that she’s far less creative next door pervert, she and Mom remain as greedy as they ever were. Mindless greed… What if SOS would pose for Terry, would that balance the universe? They are a perfect match, dirty old men.

    Comments for Jane should continue, fantasy feature sounds very good. I would be curious to learn about acquiring and curating, or about filthy dreams of multiple limbs ( to wear more pairs of shoes at once!) and similar.

  9. Alicia says:

    YES!! Carol delivering a moral lesson would be the greatest.

  10. theresa says:

    Here is the real narrative:


  11. Mark says:

    You’re boring. Stop it.


  12. kate says:

    that getup in above photo makes you look like a 90s army vag in estrus. kudos!

  13. Liz!! says:

    Wow, I thought that I was the only one with my eyes glazing over at Sea’s blog! I think that it used to be so much more fun when she had comments up….oh oh, ever since Fashion Indie crowned her pervert queen of the world, she’s posting like mad on that other blog.

    Dear Jane,

    I don’t know what it is, but your blog is sorely lacking in joie de vivre…I’ve been flabbergasted about your mom’s SICCCK beetle belt all week. HOW? HOW are you going to top that? A frickin $600 beetle belt! Maybe you can mold one in the shape of breasts and model it in your dom gear. Hope you will find your Humbert…I gave up years ago.

    Love, Me.

    Her blog is officially as boring as my comment.

  14. Sil says:

    Tutorial: how to save 1.245,00 bucks.
    1- Buy cheap white boots.
    2- Buy colored water paints (tempera in spanish, I´m not sure about translation)
    3- Send me to Spain. I will give all the stuff to my 2-year-old cousin, and she will play with it all.
    4- You get back the boots, and only pay the shipping.

    Dear Shit of Shoes and family,

    You went to the Crillon ball, maybe expecting to get something of the European Societé. Maybe you should google, and you would see that even if they don´t wear cheap clothes, they are not THAT obvious about the money they have, bc that way of showing off is considered tacky. You can have money, but you, girl, have no style, and I mean as a person, not dressing.



  15. Eliza says:


    You spent $1245 for cankles.

  16. Carla says:

    Man your blog is my favourite new blog. I hate Jane and her entire world.

  17. Sofia says:

    Dear Sea,


  18. amandamandamanda says:

    I wonder why she thinks Trophy Club, TX is a small town? It’s basically the richest, fanciest suburb of Dallas/Ft. Worth…containing mucho expensive shopping centers and is about a 10-20 minute drive THROUGH HIGHWAYS AND SUBURBAN SPRAWL to “the city.” As someone from one of the less rich ‘burbs of DFW, I’m offended. Also because my family comes from real-life Small-Town, TX.

  19. Carol delivers a moral lesson every time she chooses to go and look at cooking utensils instead of shoes, and looks uncomfortable in the all photos of her.
    I am re-naming Jane ‘The Humbert Humbert of Barney’s’. She’d probably like that.

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