Don’t Smack Your Kid Around, Hero Mother

hero mom baltimore

At first I thought that video of the angry Baltimore mother smacking her teenage son was kind of comical. I was a little embarrassed for the mother, who came off like a stereotype over-the-top ghetto mom, screaming about I’ll hit you upside the head!

Now that I see she’s being hailed as a hero, I’m disgusted.

If you see a white mother slugging her kid, you know it’s child abuse. Case closed.

But because it’s Baltimore and the kid is wearing a hoodie, she’s a fucking superstar!

I’m glad that she loves her son and wants the best for him.  I know she must feel desperate. But smacking him and swearing is not okay for one ethnicity and wrong for everyone else. It’s just wrong. It’s violence. What does she do to discipline her other five kids when the cameras aren’t rolling?

Violence teaches violence. To commend this mother is racist.

Anyone?

 

 

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20 Responses to Don’t Smack Your Kid Around, Hero Mother

  1. Harmreduction says:

    Amen!

  2. Sam says:

    No argument here.

  3. annemarie says:

    Yes! This is the kind of thing that the Sean Hannitys and Bill O’Reilys of the world think black kids need more of. That kid’s face is full of fear and shame…what is that teaching him?

    I heard these two quotes in an interview conducted between Monica Lewinsky and Jon Ronson. The quotes are from a book by James Gilligan, a psychiatrist who spent his career working in the prison system:

    “I have yet to see a serious act of violence that was not provoked by the experience of feeling shamed and humiliated, disrespected and ridiculed.”

    “All violence is an attempt to replace shame with self-esteem.”

  4. Luzie says:

    You are goddammit right!
    I really like your blog for some time now, visiting regularly but never commented before.
    Best wishes from Germany, where of course the womans action is praised, too, á la “at least ONE black mother teaching her child good behaviour”.
    Luzie

  5. ALI says:

    agreed.

  6. Bevitron says:

    The general reaction to that video made me really uncomfortable Yes, she wants her kid safe but I do think humiliating a child, especially a young male, is playing with fire. I’ve always suspected that at the bottom of all rage is a profound sense of (learned) helplessness, stoked by shame and ridicule.

  7. David Duff says:

    I have no views on the rights or wrongs of this particular mother except to say that at least she cares enough to do something, but smacking ‘kiddiewinkies’ is much to be encouraged. The little snot-producers deserve a whack every so often whether or not they have transgressed simply to keep them in line.

    As I said to the cashier in my local supermarket the other day as a screaming-screeching ‘kiddiewinkie’ was dragged from the store by its pathetic parents, “You know, when you think about it, infanticide is not ALL bad!”

  8. Bessie the Cow says:

    A long while back I watched this video where the police in some South American country arrested three teen boys. I think it was for selling pot. The police called their moms to pick them up and the moms started smacking the boys on the head. All three moms. I think that not all situations can be judged the same, especially under duress. If my son was a young black male throwing bottles and rocks at police in state where shooting black males was common place, I’d be out there smacking my son upside the head. Sometimes, you just have to smack a kid upside the head to get his head on straight and maybe even save his life. Better smacked and shamed than dead. Now having said that I opposed shaming and smacking kids of any color or ethnicity, in any country, upside the head, generally speaking. In an ideal situation cops wouldn’t be killing people on the street and moms wouldn’t need protect their children by smacking them upside the head. And the media should be focusing on the bigger picture and not on the detritus they post as news. All lives matter!

  9. David Duff says:

    Well said, Bessie!

  10. Dj says:

    Yes, the age of indignation…I thought the mother, however unenlightened, did what she thought she should do to stop her son from falling into the hands of police and/or mob mentality. Good for her. In fact, I would have given him a swift kick in the ass for good measure….boo hoo…..

  11. Sister Wolf says:

    Again, if the mother and son were white, it would be seen as child abuse. To commend black mothers for hitting their sons is the worst sort of racism, in my view. It’s saying, “You need to use brutality on black boys/men to keep them in place.’

    Perhaps these young black men who are smacked around at home are the ones who will then smack people around in their homes when they get married and have kids.

    ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’, eh? Not in my world.

  12. David Duff says:

    Well I don’t care whether they’re black, white or polka dot, for the right reason at the right time ALL children deserve – and need – a good whack.

  13. Sister Wolf says:

    David – In the head? How many times in a row? With swearing? At what age do you stop? Do they have a right to hit you back? If not, why not?

  14. David Duff says:

    Don’t be silly, Sis! Anywhere on a fleshy part of the body with an open hand – and as many times as it takes for the lesson to sink in! If the lady in the photo had done that when her oafish son was very much smaller she wouldn’t need to be doing it now.

    And by the way, don’t think that small children don’t, deep down, appreciate a smack from time to time. It shows you actually care about what they are doing. It also shows them the bars of the cage, so to speak, in which they exist. Those ‘bars’ which they love to kick against actually provide them with a sense of security.

  15. Bessie the Cow says:

    I condemn every form of child abuse: hitting, smacking, verbal abuse, ect.; however, if my kid was in great danger then any thing goes to save him from that danger. Including smacking him upside the head. Race has nothing to do with it. The women in the video from South America where Hispanic. They were slapping them and hitting their kids with their purses. No parent wants to see his or her child in jail or in a dangerous situation. I saw the mother fighting to protect her child using whatever means necessary. Every situation is different. No, don’t smack your kids because they spill the milk or disagree with you, but in a precarious situation do what you must do to protect your wee one even if he’s six foot tall.

  16. Luzie says:

    “And by the way, don’t think that small children don’t, deep down, appreciate a smack from time to time.”

    Are you nuts, David Duff?

  17. Suspended says:

    I’ve never had to smack my child and wouldn’t anyway. Why an adult would ever think it ok to slap a tiny person is beyond me. The hatred and resentment that grows from that is cruel, ugly and deserving. Why would you want to do that to someone so precious to you? Why do it to yourself?

    I’ve always found on the very rare occasions where a lesson had to be learned, compassion and love were a far stronger tool. A child needs your love most when he deserves it least. Something stinging for a few minutes could never be equal to reaching into the heart of something. By showing compassion, you’re teaching your child the power of compassion, not brutality, and that is something that elevates their humanity, not degrades it.

    This probably sounds preachy, not my intention, but I’m pretty shit at conveying my thoughts.

    Let me put it another way. I see kids that are a handful and I see parents at the end of their tether and it’s hard and stressful. I get it. Something I’ve never seen is a kid that responds well to being hit. No person responds well to it. It doesn’t quell a situation, it only gives rise to another. A lot of these parents don’t take the time to address the child’s needs. They have no idea how to, so they just lash out. No doubt it’s what their parents did before them but what they need to realise is that that child is a person, a person that still has a lot of things to learn and mistakes to make and doesn’t have the body of experience to express everything in the best manner. Cut them some slack and they’ll probably cut you some too. Life should be more pleasant. Make it more pleasant.

  18. Debbie says:

    Disagree. Depends on where you grew up. I grew up in the hood. My brother hung out on the corner with the homies. My little mom would march over to that house in her robe, knock on the door and call for him “GEORGE!!!!!” and out he’d come totally pissed and embarrassed BUT it stopped him from going over there. Forty years later, all those guys are in prison and/or dead. And she could throw a brush at you that could round a corner a bean you right in the head LOL! It was different in the 70’s. There was no way she was going to lose her son in a drive-by, which in my neighborhood occurred all the time. My two cents.

  19. Trish says:

    Suspended – that was beautifully stated.

  20. MRDA says:

    I’m not so sure your racial analysis holds up, given the prevalence of pro-corporal-punishment sentiment I encounter from folk of all shades of the rainbow. Were mum and son several shades lighter, I bet a huge contingent of white conservatives would be cheering at a similar volume.

    Not that I approve of corporal punishment/smacking either – things could’ve been derailed with less extremity – but i) it was a pretty heated situation where worse injuries could have ensued for someone or other had he been left to his own devices, and ii) you need more than one isolated endorsement to damn said endorser(s) as racist.

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