Fuck It, Let’s Get Back to Angelina

We have waited patiently for news on the Brad and Angie front, and while there’s no dirt beyond the fake “insiders are saying” stories, here’s something wonderful:

Angelina is in early negotiations to star in the Afghanistan war drama “Shoot Like a Girl,” according to Variety. It’s based on the true story of Maj. Mary Jennings Hegar, who served multiple tours in Afghanistan as a helicopter pilot.

The Purple Heart recipient [ Major Hegar] saved hundreds of men and women on and off the battlefield in the Middle East and later helped eliminate the military’s ground combat exclusion policy, which kept female officers from serving in combat roles.

Hahaha! What is not to love about Angelina Jolie playing a war hero?

How grand that the break-up of her marriage and the emotional needs of her six children did not deter her from engaging in film negotiations.

Remember when she wanted to play Cleopatra? It didn’t work out, because she was nuts, as we learned from the Sony email hack.

Last year, Angie’s company optioned a book about Catherine the Great and her love affair with Potemkin. I guess that one flamed out too.

But there are so many other strong female characters she could play, and should play!

Let’s cross off Mother Theresa, because someone else must have the rights to that. Here’s my list:

Eleanor Roosevelt
Mary Magdalene
Joan of Arc
Nefertiti
Rosa Parks
Josephine Baker
Annie Oakley
Helen Keller

But you know what, why should she be limited to great women? How genderist of me! She could certainly play a male character, that’s why it’s called acting, right?

I’d like to see her play Attila the Hun and Bill Cosby, for example.

Who would you like Angie to play next? *Show your work.