Some helpful readers have alerted me to the Gala Darling wish list at Amazon.com, and it has been a revelation. Here I thought those wish lists were for books you wanted to read.
The list of 348 items that Gala wants is as brazen as Gala herself. It includes cosmetics, chocolate, a personal laser hair remover ($448), magazine subscriptions, soda, and oddly enough, books.
The books are deeply offensive to a literary snob like myself, so don’t make me list them. Let me just say that I’m tempted to fulfill her wish for a copy of “The Haunted Vagina” but I can’t justify spending $7.95 for a moment of perverse satisfaction.
I still can’t understand the appeal of this Gala person, aside from reveling in her awfulness. She makes me feel squeamish. The wish list business suggests a new level of shamelessness that I hesitate to even explore.
But if wish lists are okay for bloggers, I want one too. Here are the preferred items:
1. New roof (somewhere between $4000 and $7,000) Nice to have before the next rainfall!
2. Pay my medical bills from hip fracture, $2,200
3. Pay my auto insurance and gas bills.
4. Nordstrom bill minimum payment $35
5. Facial filler $600 +
Oh god, this list is no fun, no wonder I’m never invited to blogger conferences!
Gala may not want your comments but she wants a shitload of merchandise. Feel empowered to leave her a comment here. I will go first:
Dear Gala Darling, What the hell is your deal?! Why all the icky self-help books when I thought you were a self-help guru yourself? Why the hair-removal? Why the pink? And what’s up with the Nubby Twiglet? No offense, but don’t you guys have mirrors? Sorry about all the questions, just ignore them if you want, cuz I’m not gonna buy you anything, ever. Love, SW
Don’t be coy, Gala. What you really want is a rhinoplasty, isn’t it?
Dear Gala,
After much thought, I’ve realized that your logic is slightly flawed. Actually, it’s rather selfish. What I’ve learned is that I can buy stuff and make myself happy for a short while, yes. BUT, the best way to become a better person (as your blog seems to always tell me I must strive for) is to be selfless, not selfish. Look to help others instead of buying that incredibly offensive and racist “Dexton Great Plains Teepee,” or go and volunteer in a cat shelter instead of prancing through the streets and taking pictures of yourself in whimsicle fuckery, or you know, do something meaningful in your day that does something positive for someone other than your lack-of-a-real-job self. Self-love is a great thing, but it shouldn’t entail nothing but material consumption and narcissism.
With hope, Ashley
My mind is blown! You’d have to be a complete asshole to ask strangers to buy you a leather couch in return for advice about what make up to buy. Also, she wants a teepee. Ugh.
Yes, wtf with the teepee??
Wouldn’t it be great if Gala was a huge exercise in absurdist performance art, one designed by a think tank of artists looking to study cult behavior and bandwagon manipulation? I tell myself this is a possibility because I can’t honestly believe that someone has brainwashed themselves into believing that if they put glitter on every office supply, the universe will reward them. That being said, I once dated a man who handed me (an unabashed elitist when it comes to books) this to gem read:
http://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Messages-Water-Masaru-Emoto/dp/1582701148
Deal breaker. If Gala didn’t seem so smug about her darling relationship with her “beau,” I would totally tell the universe to set them up.
Also, I’m pretty sure Salman Rushdie got on her list because “Satanic” is in the title, and Arundhati Roy because it’s set in India, which is totallly a hip location right now. Also, I think she confused the Amy Hempel story collection “Reasons to Live” as a self-help book. Poor dear.
So her trust fund somehow doesn’t enable her to buy that teepee herself? Cruel life!
I think it’s not so much that she wants a teepee as it is that she wants someone to to want to buy her a teepee. And maybe she wants someone to buy her an HDTV to put in her teepee. And a wee little kiwi tree to plant outside her teepee along with three tea cozies to shelter the bees when they hide from the breeze.
That’s what I think.
From her photo I am surprised she hasn’t asked for a dummy!
Gala Darling has been called out before for being racist and cultural insensitive. Like here, http://alagarconniere.blogspot.com/2010/06/love-letters-and-cultural-appropriation.html
Gala calls herself a “glamorous savage” and used to sign off her posts, “love and feather headdresses.” Also she did a disgusting vanity photo shoot inside a teepee.
WHAT is going on inside this racist pink head? This Gala Darling rich trust fund ditz is ignorant and plain hypocritical.
She looks like she’s trying to dislodge food stuck between her teeth. Dear Gala, please add dental floss to your Amazon wishlist.
Oooh, I have a question!
Dear Gala, I was reading on your blog today that you find fur kind of icky. So what’s with the pic of you in this post? I’m no expert but it looks kind of real to me.
Gorilla – I remember that post from a while back. It was the first time I came across Gala. I banished her to the back of my subconcious after that.
I want a teepee!
Now I know where I’ve been going wrong! Instead of Tesco asking me to pick an item of clothing and ‘post’ a picture of me with my personal style take (yes please no comments and no I didn’t do it) I need to get my shit together and have an extensive Amazon list. I deffo want a bell tent, so I need to lose the books and concentrate on the tent things!
HA HA HA HA HA HA! That’s all I have to say on the matter.
the saddest part is people have actually bought stuff from her wishlist! If you look at the bottom, there’s a “customers who have bought from this wish list have also bought…” section. ewww
I was first introduced to Gala last week on your blog, SW. She makes Sea look selfless…
A wishlist comprised of 14 pages of shit including this gem of a book: “The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure.” It would give ME exquisite pleasure if I would never again hear another word about this useless twit.
Oh and what use would the “Master Your Workday Now!: Proven Strategies to Control Chaos, Create Outcomes, & Conne​ct Your Work to Who You Really Are” book be to GD? Does she work? She doesnt even spend that long on her posts by the looks of it!
dear Gala –
i understand you are dealing with your good fortune at being born wealthy as best you can, but please consider Ashley’s point, above. convincing yourself and others day in and day out that you are a good person and worth all the things you have is surely exhausting, grotesque to witness, and backwards.
rather than justifying your position and taking radical steps to love yourself, go out there and be a good person. use your money for good things and you won’t need to apportion parts of your life to making yourself feel better about having it all. you will feel better. you will love yourself, radically and otherwise. and other people will like you too.
thanks for listening,
marie
also, your shame comes from here:
http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/2J6FA30SV8OEX?reveal=unpurchased&filter=32&sort=date-added&layout=standard&x=10&y=11
WTF is a blogger conference please someone fill me in I’m a slow one.
item from wishlist- Quantum Physics: A Beginner’s Guide
Really? That has to be a joke. If it’s not, it’s a really scary thought.
LOL I love that all of her requested books are probably packed with info that she’s going to “use” on all her next blog posts.
And I apologize for anyone who shares her taste in literature, but the books she listed makes me want to vomit. It’s like she chooses all of the “cool issues.” OMG Global warming! And ashrams! Kabbala! (Nothing wrong with being interested in these issues, but it just comes off as so…shallow on her end.)
The SKII products? Yeah, I’m going to spend $125 on 1 oz of skin care for her face. Whatever.
Gala, you are seriously…delusional. If I HAD to make a gift list for my blog with no visitors, I wouldn’t list 348 items. I wouldn’t include a $3,000 couch, and I wouldn’t know where to put the fucking tepee. So there. And I wouldn’t write “You can totally buy my love.” I don’t care that if like Gnarlitude, you are just “being sarcastic.” SO lame.
“Customers who bought The Haunted Vagina also bought:
The Baby Jesus Butt Plug
Razor Wire Pubic Hair
The Faggiest Vampire
Satan Burger
Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet”
MC – *snigger*
I’m a bit worried by this haunted vagina idea. How does one get a ghost in there? (Aside from in the method employed in Scary Movie 2, of course, eugh) And how does one exorcise it?
OH God, her list is called the Yummyverse? I’ll happily pay money on Amazon to send her a big kick.
You have no idea how hard I laughed at your list. I just got a six figure medical bill that “slipped” past insurance, so I feel you. I never got the concept of the Amazon wishlist and strangers buying things for other people. I would just feel yucky accepting a “no strings attached” gift from someone I don’t know. I also never heard of this Gala Darling person before you mentioned her, and I also have to say I don’t get the appeal. I never got the whole cutsey/kinderwhore/lolita raver vibe.
How much is humility nowadays?
Angelica, that list had me LOLing for a good five minutes. I am almost tempted to buy ‘The Faggiest Vampire’ out of curiosity.
How does one send a big steaming pile of crap through Amazon if it’s not on the wish list? Oh, wait, she doesn’t need one of those; her blog is the web equivalent of a steaming pile of shit.
Am I the only Red-Wine-By-The-Fire Jew that’s offended by her obviously shallow, trendy interest in Kabala? And the teepee…I…I just have no words. Is it wrong of me to want to kick Gala’s ass?
Miss J just updated her own wishlist:
“New Ass”
her current ass is middle-aged… she’d like a younger, springier one.
I’d much rather have a yurt. They seem to be more spacious than teepees.
Books? Why can’t she get her glam arse to the library?
Sister Wolf, you need more rubbish on that list if you want me to buy you stuff! Get crackin’.
HelonWheels – go on I dare you!
Oh man. Look at the dates things are added and you can see phases she’s gone through where she’s obviously decided she’s, like, TOTALLY into one thing, probably blogged the shit out of the topic and then the next week she’s moved on. See: the Kabbalah section, the Disney bit, about 4 million teabags, the India books. Why bother actually taking the time to read and learn about something when you can just make a big show of wanting to learn about it? Interesting to note that the list goes back five years – 16 pages of crap she’s wanted and never bothered to buy (and, it’s quite encouraging to note, no-one else has bought for her.)
@Angelica
way to some up the generation beyond x and y
Shilling for J.C. Penney must not pay very well if she hasn’t already bought these things for herself.
It’s too bad that there’s no place in NYC that lends out books for free…oh.
snicker.
and just so you know, you aren’t the only one who isn’t invited to blogger conferences.
Everyday this blog just keeps getting better and better!
@Sister Wolf: I will have a stab at answering two of yr questions to Gala Darling.
What the hell is your deal?! It all comes back to…. Gala is a stinking hypocrite.
Jane is a saint next to her because she doesn’t deny her rich bitchiness. Gala Darling is a mess of lies and contradictions, saying to loving yerself and be an independent woman writer, when she is a trust fund ditz who can’t hold a writing job & lives to shop & buy fur & use apostrophes & run on sentences &
Why the hair-removal? Hypocrite! Gala preaches radical self love women power & then tells girls they have to wear makeup and shave to go out in public.
Why all the icky self-help books when I thought you were a self-help guru yourself? Hypocrite! Miss independent self-love helps herself to other ppl’s ideas and does not credit them.
Why the pink? Hypocrite! Shiny happy people unicorn vomit exterior, to lure young girls into her fantasy land that ends in a Amazon wishlist and $14 podcasts.
And what’s up with the Nubby Twiglet? … perhaps that is what goes into Gala Darling’s Haunted Vagina?
The stuff purchased for her. Not a whole lot, and I guess a lot of the stuff she bought for herself. Including: “The faggiest vampire”! http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/2J6FA30SV8OEX?reveal=purchased
Make Do – You are such an enabler!! Usually, Roller Derby helps me release all of my pent-up frustration and anger. So, usually, I’m a very calm, non-violent person. However, all that pacifism disappears at the mention of certain people and their odious blogs, with Gala being one of those individuals. If I ever run into her I would totally kick her ass, from NY back to NZ!!!
But then I’d like all of you to show your gratitude by buying stuff for me from MY wish list. Be warned, it’s all books and music. 😉
I do like Nubby. She at least has a job she worked hard to get and has professionalism.
Is she pushing the wishlist for others to buy her things or is it just for herself to keep track of crap she wants? I have an Amazon wishlist but it’s mainly for my bf since he thinks I’m hard to shop for. I am a picky bitch.
is this girl important or something? This is the first time i have looked at her blog. It’s mighty boring. her aesthetic is total shite too. She looks like a the result of a collision between My Little Pony and a disco ball.
@annemarie yes, Gala Darling pushes her wishlist in the face of readers and asks them to buy her crap for being fahhbulous. In her freaking ABOUT section she wrote
“Why, yes, I have an Amazon wishlist!”
http://galadarling.com/static/about-gala
Gala plugs her wishlist all the time, like this birthday article. In it, she also asks readers to send her birthday cards. SHAMELESS.
http://galadarling.com/article/my-birthday-wishlist
Has she not heard of libraries?
They have books.
well, she comes off as quite the cretin, taking conspicuous consumption to a whole new league of bullshit.
“If I ever run into her I would totally kick her ass, from NY back to NZ!!!”
Oh no, HelOnWheels, we don’t want her back!
Okay, I checked out the list. I don’t get all the self-help books. I don’t get all the sex books. I REALLY don’t get the hocus pocus astrology crap. If I had to refer to a damn book to get me through every aspect of life… oh man.
Amen, Gorilla. If I’ve learned one true fact about Gala the almost two years I’ve followed her, it’s that she’s a hypocrite.
I completely agree about the radical self love garbage. She goes on for days about how girls should love themselves for who they are and then tell them that they should put on make-up because people are going to have to look at them.
http://galadarling.com/article/oh-make-me-over
Not only does Gala think and hold great worth in material possessions, but she also shamelessly wants the people who she most recently shunned by turning off the comments to buy them for her. The same people who are messing up her “art” are the same people who she wants to buy her a $3,000 couch.
She has preached multiple times on her blogs how girls don’t need this and don’t need that to be happy, yet a week later she’s throwing it in their faces telling them that they need the designer concealer for their eye bags that she was GIVEN.
I also don’t understand all of the business books. She does not work for a company. She may have completely sold out and allowed herself to be a walking advertisement of hypocrisy but she is definitely not involved in an actual business. She blogs. She’s not some glitzy CEO.
Gala having such a ridiculous and shameless list of items purposely put there for people exposes how she doesn’t care a damn thing about her readers and welcomes using them for her own shallow needs.
I mean, come on! Sex books, Kabbalah books, candles, tee pees, tea bags, blinged out office supplies, candy, make up, $125 face cream for 1.7 ounces!
It also says on Gala’s about me page that she adores “receiving love letters & lavish gifts”.
is there any way to find her address from that list and send her “please stop blogging” postcards?