Gucci Jumps The Shark

Gucci is betting that we’re all idiots, and good for them. Here’s net-a-porter gushing over this special contraption:

Sometimes you spot something on the runway that you just have to have, regardless of how impractical it may seem – cue Gucci’s black leather harness. Part of Alessandro Michele’s Spring ’17 collection, this Italian-made accessory is decorated with rows of gold studs at the fringed shoulders. Adjust the buckles to find your most comfortable fit.

Hahaha! “No matter how impractical.”

Who among us does not want to spend $2,500 to masquerade as a horse?

You know what, fuck it. It speaks for itself. Wear it like this

or you could wear it as you prance around a track.

Maybe Gucci’s creative director finally saw “Secretary”? Is it an S&M thing or a slavery fetish? Do you like the part about “finding your most comfortable fit?” Is it code for DON’T BUY THIS, ARE YOU CRAZY?

Here’s the best part – it’s ‘low in stock.’




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9 Responses to Gucci Jumps The Shark

  1. Penny says:

    I did see something like this once in a shop window in Amsterdam. Sorry, no, that was something entirely different. Could be modified though. Also, you’re right about the horse thing. I did keep horses years ago and I think I can safely say that they would rather have taken a one way trip to the glue factory than be made to wear one of these…………….Gucci…….what twats.

  2. David Duff says:

    Looks a bit like my posing pouch although even I, superman that I am, could not fill both those cups!

  3. Charlotte K says:

    I see it on Melania, for some reason. Maybe at the Easter Egg Roll this weekend.

  4. Dj says:

    I don’t understand it….does it mean something? Maybe Sean Spicer should wear it with a leash…..

  5. Sister Wolf says:

    Penny – Haha, I like to refer to the glue factory too! I’ve urged my husband to take me there many times.

    David – I know you’re man enough to work with this thing somehow.

    Charlotte K – YES, absolutely!!!! Good call.

    Dj – I think they owe it to us to explain it’s meaning and function. Sean would have trouble figuring how to put it on.

  6. Romeo says:

    I dunno, as we face the impending extinction of all life on Earth why not spend all your money on dumb bullshit? We are all members of a death cult now.

  7. Kellie says:

    I am hoping they made 3, one sold and only 2 remain?
    That would be low stock, right?
    They need to make the assless chaps and a harness to match. Its not a fetish outfit until someone has their dick and ass out.

  8. Madam Restora says:

    It’s low in stock because this is the sample and no one’s bought it yet. Let’s remain positive about humanity please.

  9. Suspended says:

    Someone at Gucci has been watching Genghis Khan on Netflix.

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