Why is denim so easy to fuck up?
2015 is shaping up to be a ghastly landscape of super ugly denim, in either a misguided nod to normcore or just an expression of creative bankruptcy.
Ugly denim pieces are available at all price points (and note that I am saying ‘price points’ with a sneer.) I’m especially pleased by the really expensive shit, and I pray that idiots everywhere will shell out the big bucks to look like a tragic loser from the 80’s.
I’m talking to you, Taylor Swift!
The monstrosity above is a pair of jeans by Maison Martin Margiela, 395 dollars worth of unflattering ugliness. The high waist, the pale wash, the buttons, I’m going to say a full ten on a one to ten hideousness scale.
Here’s a jacket by Viktor and Rolf, priced right at $995.
I think it would be great for Angelina Jolie, don’t you? It’s dowdy, minimalist. and designed to underscore one’s contempt for trends and color.
Now, these winners by One Teaspoon are a solid 9:
You’re wondering why they didn’t score a ten, and here’s why: I’m saving it for this sublime eyesore, also by One Teaspoon.
Right? Does it get any better than this? And only $139!
Now, midi skirts are inherently awful but this one by Steve and Yoni is pretty damn special:
What a work of art! $315 for all these design features…the pleated waist, the inverted front pleat, the distressed holes, oh my god, I just noticed the shit on the side. Are they buttons or snaps? I swear I just saw them. Wow.
Okay. Remember Alexa Chung? Here’s a dress she designed for AG Jeans.
Nice. It’s $230 for that icky cheap looking fabric. The elasticized ruffle: Priceless.
Finally, because I’m tired, just one more. A denim dress by Club Monaco.
Try not to get sidetracked by her emaciated thighs. Instead, marvel at how someone in 2015 will race to buy this pointless, drab, unflattering piece of shit for $198.