I’m Just Here to Help


Do you want to consider whether your use of the Internet is an addiction? Me neither! Then don’t go here to find out.

Do you think it would be tragic to use a website called Closet Viewer to catalog your clothes and then “track the dates and frequency of items worn?” Then don’t go here.

Are you able to resist the chance to be followed around by a creepy eyeball on a website full of Crypto-hipster weirdobilia? Good, then you won’t be going here.

And finally, here is a great (seriously) online shopping site where I managed to find something heartbreakingly* awful:


Can you believe these are real jeans?! The joke is on someone, somewhere, I guess.

* ‘heartbreakingly’ is my favorite word, from now until further notice.

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17 Responses to I’m Just Here to Help

  1. WendyB says:

    Even I, a lover of ugly things, find those jeans repulsive

  2. Those jeans bring to mind the (fictional) band in my son’s favorite book, called Loded Diper.

  3. Deni says:

    Gross or better said “heartbreakingly awful.”

  4. annemarie says:

    Jesus. Why do they have to be stone-washed on top of everything else? Are they trying to kill us?

  5. dawny says:

    i think there cute!

  6. Bex says:

    Those are puke-worthy!

  7. sam says:

    I could do without the stone wash and red deck shoes…but I like ’em! What’s not to like???

  8. arline says:

    They look uncomfortable.
    They look ugly to me.

    Yes Bex, puke-worthy!, as
    well as “heartbreakingly awful”.

  9. hammie says:

    They will be replicated and sold to many happy people waddling through malls across the great american plains – only they won’t be baggy anymore.

  10. For sure they are the ugliest jeans I have ever seen. They look as if they were designed with Hobbits in mind.

    And, no, I do not want to have someone confirm my internet addiction because if I knew it then I would feel compelled to address the issue. No, I will instead follow your other fascinating and informative links.

  11. Bevitron says:

    Godammit, I’m confused! Are the “jeans” on ass-backward, or is the actual ass growing on the wrong side? Are the shoes on with the toes pointing at the heels? If chick, loaded down with labia jewelry? If dude, heartbreakingly over-immense package? Which way will the knees bend?

  12. Sister Wolf says:

    WendyB- I should hope so!

    Iheartfashion – What an adorable name! Yes, you can feel the weight in the crotch area.

    Deni – Hahaha!

    annemarie – That’s my guess.

    dawny – Oh. come on, you do not!

    Bex- They really are shocking.

    Jill – Hahahaha! Very eloquent.

    sam – ????

    arline – They are a violation of everything we hold sacred.

    Hammie – Don’t scare me.

    Le Belette Rouge – Good thinking.

    Bevitron – Listen, all I can say is that this is a frontal view.

  13. Mark says:

    I thought they were a joke so l looked at the website. I found these


    and realized they’re not a joke.

  14. Aja says:

    I’m gonna get my ass ex-communicated on here. . . but dare I say . . . if they reached the floor and were not stone washed I would rock the shit out of these.

  15. Sister Wolf says:

    Mark – They are deadly serious.

    Aja – Hahahaha! Well if they weren’t short and stonewashed, they wouldn’t be the symbol of the apocalypse that they are!

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