Let The Cocksucking Begin!

let the cocksucking begin

How many of you were thrilled by The Mooch’s unhinged tirade as reported by Ryan Lizza in The New Yorker? Of course we were astounded at first but really, what’s the big deal? In the Trump reality show, they have to keep upping the ante.

Now that Scaramucci has introduced cocksucking into the national dialogue, I personally could not be happier. Let’s all go nuts, okay? It won’t be long before someone in the White House calls Hillary a cunt. Should we count the days?

Meanwhile, the cocksucking.

Why won’t the Mooch try to suck his own cock? Is it because he’s so short? Does that make it harder? And why doesn’t Steve Bannon succeed in sucking his own cock? How hard has he tried? Maybe he has actually got it mastered, but the Mooch doesn’t know it?

Years ago, I came upon a portal to 1,500 photos of men sucking their own cocks. I swear to god I wasn’t looking for porn or even penises. I might have been looking at vintage photos of petticoats or something, but suddenly, boom, I hit a database of photos. I was afraid to open it. I know I talk a good game but in reality I am very squeamish. I once saw a picture of a girl with two penises in her mouth and all I could think was that she looked like a walrus.

Anyway. In the rough and tumble world of alpha men, is there shame in sucking your own cock? It seems like a feat you might take some pride in. The flexibility! The determination! The high testosterone count!

Vice has some advice on how to suck your own cock, Steve Bannon, but I’m not going to read it. Show it to the Mooch when you’re done.

Going forward, I hope Scaramucci will keep us apprised of all cocksucking in the White House. I’ll bet Melania performed her last duty in that regard many years ago. Good for her.

What about Jared? Has he tried sucking his own cock? Is he sucking someone’s else’s cock? As the season progresses, I hope to find out. In fact, I hope that all will be revealed without having to wait for next season. I’m praying the show will be cancelled just as soon as Trump gets impeached, so we can all wash out mouths out.

But I guess I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. As Winston Wolf says so eloquently in Pulp Fiction, “ let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.”

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4 Responses to Let The Cocksucking Begin!

  1. Penny says:

    I just asked my husband his opinion on men sucking their own cocks. His response was ‘err, umm, it’s not something I’ve ever thought about………what the hell are you looking at? I’m off to do the recycling.’ British men are so dull.

  2. Dj says:

    Omg!! Didn’t know Deadwood was so full of cocksuckers! Must watch tv!!
    Now, I just can’t shake the image of Bannon trying to suck his cock…he’s too damn fat to be able to get anywhere near the thing! He hasn’t seen it in years! He would have a stroke! The Mooch? His wife just imasculated him with divorce papers, so his dick won’t see Any action. Trump? He’s got people for that.

  3. Charlotte K says:

    LOVE it. You made my day.

  4. Romeo says:

    I had a group of male friends who voluntarily masturbated onto a photograph of one them masturbating (art!) but I turned down the invitation to participate. Somehow this started a conversation about who, if they were able, would and who would not suck their own dick. I was the only one who would not. My guess is that in the process of toilet training my mother transferred her overwhelming disgust of penes to me.

    Hope this helps!

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