Let’s Talk Underpants

It’s always nice to get new underpants. I can’t stand the word ‘panties,’ which always evokes, for me, Letters to Penthouse. When the word ‘panties’ is preceded by the word ‘sans,’ I get goosebumps, in a bad way.

Underpants can be exquisite, or they can be those other ones that you shove to the back of the drawer for when you have your period. If you’re reading this and you’re a man, Sorry, I forgot to warn you. Period Underpants are truly awful and really ought to be thrown away. Just wear black ones, okay?

Anyway, imagine my shock to see a beautiful pair of underpants by Kiki de Montparnasse that cost $450! No underpants could possibly be more fabulous but imagine paying that much money! Danielle Steele could afford them but she’s probably too busy in the shoe department. I need to know who buys them!

These underpants are also nice, but they aren’t available yet. They’re made by Wundervoll. You could wear them anywhere, right?

Now these underpants are either stupid or depressing, or perhaps both. They have a little battery pack that is operated by remote control. A saleswoman in a lingerie shop took the time to show them to me and my friend, evidently mistaking us for desperate housewives or amateur prostitutes. We didn’t buy them.

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One Response to Let’s Talk Underpants

  1. Mark says:

    What about weird chastity belts?

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