Ahem. Let the meeting come to order!
First of all, in response to all the nice people who are concerned about my age, my shriveled anus, and so on, I would like to make it clear that I will be fifty seven this month and I fucking rule. See me arm wrestling above, at a family gathering a couple of weeks ago.
Face it! I just rule. It’s not my fault that I didn’t over-pluck my eyebrows, I didn’t like staying out in the sun, I didn’t fuck up my hair and I was just lucky that way. This rampant ageism among the nice people who have recently come aboard is very sad. They are terrified of aging but that’s not my fault either. In any case, that particular weapon is useless here. Thanks anyway!
Second: An excitable woman in Texas has taken it upon herself to rally her Good Ol Gals on facebook to come here and cause mischief. The woman is a pal of Sea and Mom. Here is her best comment thus far:
Now we know more than we wanted to know about Sea’s appraisal of me. She is welcome to perseverate on female genitalia, as she does on her “other” blog. Just not mine.
As it turns out, poor Mom is also preoccupied with me as evidenced by a histrionic screed that she left as a comment, using a proxy server. Her comment was particular shocking, coming from a mother, but obviously our ideas of morality are very different. At least she got Sea to delete this “thought:”
Grief, shoes, it’s all the same to some people. Scary but true.
~
Now, here is my thinking. I have been committed to a blog that is free of censorship. But this orchestrated attempt to waste my time is annoying my real readers. So, how about one of these strategies:
1. When some lunatic leaves a comment that slanders me ( in the true sense of slander) we shall respond to them with the word “WHORE!” For example, “Dumbbell” writes “LOL sister wolf, your an old old old anus with no sole” the response from faithful readers shall be “WHORE!”
or
2. I will just allow the first two lines of every slanderous comment and delete the rest. That way, “Judy under a fake name” can write: “sister wolf you make me sick, bile vitriol, venom, old old old empty lonely bad mother crazy as a loon and even reading my freaking ebay curations and you make me so sick and you hate on and your just so old and why don’t you get a life you horrible old thing and bab bad mother who doesnt know how to grieve like we do in Texas you old old older-than-me narcissist narcissist bla bla bla bla” but it will be shortened to “sister wolf you make me sick, bile vitriol, venom, old old old empty”
Well, these are my ideas for now.
SW – Buahahahaha!! BTW, we’ll be watching “In Bruges” tonight, with your favorite Colin.
Kellie – Pimms & lemonade is yummy! I drank that like water when I worked in the UK. Throw some cucumbers in there and it’s a superb drink.
I have had to setlle for pink lemonade with extra ice. I added a straw, I dont know if that makes it better or just a bit white trashy…
HOW-I could drink Pimms by the PITCHER.
Oh, wait. I have : )
Ellie/Simone – God damn you, I have never used botox. It’s not my fault you have bad skin!
Max’s friends in real life all love me. And I love them. Is that what upsets you so much???
Simone, get out of my life. You have done enough. You can’t take Max away from me. Mothers and children are eternal. You can’t change history. I’m sorry about your own mother but that’s not my faut either.
Get back on those meds.
Stop trolling here or I will print all of your emails, including the one that begins “I won’t suger-coat it….”
Be warned, you fucking crazy bitch.
Aja. Love it.
Me too, by the way, re: charity work. And I have a halo too.
I read this blog not because I idolise SW, but because I think she’s a fantastic (and funny) writer. Some of you people take yourselves WAY too seriously… to spend all this time bitching and moaning and criticizing somebody else’s self-expression. Joke’s on you… you’re the ones who care enough to get riled up about it :).
Oh, and by the way, there’s a big difference between being a mindless drone/ representation of the worst aspects of consumerist culture, and posting pictures of things that you wish you had. So your argument about hypocricy (whoever you were up there) is void.
Back up to my cloud to sip on ambrosia with Aja…
I’m English, so I’m not sure how to get involved in all these posts… So I’m doing the typical British ‘stiff upper lip’ and all that. But, Sister Wolf, I think you’re smart and doing the best you can. Please don’t call me a whore because I’m not sure how I’d respond… I love your blog, and I understand your vexation towards the infuriating and appalling use of English grammar. “You guys’ are so North American…” xx
@Alicia – Suuuuurrrreeeee. Just like I didn’t smuggle a box of Cuban cigars into the U.S. when I worked in Mexico. What??!! I would NEVER do something like that.
rebecca – Aja’s down here with us, having mojitos. You want one?
Kellie – If you drink it with your pinkie out then it’s not white trash-y.
Gracious, what a lot you miss out on when you live in another hemisphere. May I have a mojito, HelOnWheels? We can sit on the porch and watch all the action.
Rebecca let us sip sweet nectar together and bathe in the light of our awesome glory! Hallelujah!
cold pink lemon, pinkie extended, Chelsea Handler on the TV.
Laptop with no spell check, however, it allows me to type in BED!!!
Things here are grand!!!
*hands a mojito to Miggs* Enjoy! I must go now. Mr. HOW wants to watch “In Bruges” and who am I to pass up a chance to see Colin Farrell.
ESme – Thank you, xoxoxo
have a lovely night!!!
WHERE IS MY FUCKING DRINK?!?!?
Kellie – Night!
*leaves pitcher of mojitos on her way out* Sorry, SW. Enjoy!
You’re welcome x
Anyone up for a traditional whiskey sour? They’re deliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicious…
recipe please!
2 oz bourbon or rye whiskey
1 oz freshly pressed lemon juice
1 tbsp superfine sugar or 3/4 fl oz of 1:1 simple syrup
2 tbsp of egg whites (COMPLETELY NECESSARY)
shake vigorously for at least 30 seconds with ice and strain into a glass without ice.
Enjoy!
merci Alicia x
“# kellie Says:
August 6th, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Honestly Ellie, it doesnt really matter what she is like in real life.
We dont live with her, we just read her words. This isnt a real life relationship.
None of us is perfect, and we are human, what more do you want-a pound of flesh???”
I think of all the things I’ve read on this thread, this is by far the most disturbing. Yowza!
Anytime, Esme. =)
I’ll have a glass of white wine, in my new huge trailer, wearing pleated khakis. Then I’ll schedule a botox injection, and cast spells on Karen, Ellie, Sassy, R, and the rest of the fuckers; since I’m sixty and like SW blog, of course I’m an evil old witch. What a cute evening it’s going to be! BTW, I “love on” you, SW, and the participants of ice-cream and drinks party.
haha you can deny it all you like but those of us who know you, know you have used botox.
I feel sorry for you that you are so deluded you think Max’s friends love you, they are nice to your face because they are afraid of your psychopathic personality. You should hear what they have said behind your back.
I am not Simone but I know that both her and Max had a deep understanding of what it is like to grow up in a highly dysfunctional environment with a mental case for a mother.
And I would love to see you publish Simone’s emails because then you would have to show the shit you said to her and I have seen it you crazy bitch, so go on show the world what a fuck up of mother you were
holy shit…
Ellie dear, have you been drinking?
I’m so confused…
Ellie, for fuck’s sake, I USED BOTOX and I will use it again, SO WHAT and WHO CARES?! You are clearly deranged and lay off Max already. We know what SW said to Simone, she said it here on this blog, so it’s no mystery; please don’t feel sorry for us, feel sorry for yourself, OK?
Ellie dear – SW is not a mother in the past tense, she will always be a mother, from the moment of conception and onwards. You never loose mother status. Period.
Now go and get a life, read some bloody books and stop wasting your time babbling nonsense here. Use your brain lady, if you can…
Wowow I love mojitos!
I just turned legal so I’m just learning about all these mixed drinks (No hard liquor for me, I’m a wimp)
While we’re at, let’s all check out some stupid viral youtube videos
this one got sent to me just now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw
I hope you don’t mind but since I didn’t get to join in the fun earlier: WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE
Who else noticed a lack of annemarie and her cockroach spray?
I did. It made me sad.
And Antoine Dodson GIVES ME LIFE!!!!!!!! This is hilarious.
Atoine Dodson rules so hard. He should be king for a day.
alex – you are a moron; read the post. Also – whore!
sister wolf: I think the only way to get rid of vermin is to make resin necklaces out of them and sell them at Dolly Python’s stupid-ass store? neck?
P.S.
Is it all that hard to understand that Sea/Jane is just a SYMBOL, people?
^ Uh, ignore the “neck?” part.
Ellie – Hang in there, I am getting software to get rid of you. Meanwhile, tell Simone that Max’s friends are appalled by her. All of them. We are all very close and have been for many many years. She only knew us for a few months. Tell her I’m sorry about her issues but enough is enough.
Tell her I will get in touch with her dad in New Jersey to come and help her.
SW you are Venus. I always knew it…
good night you amazing creature xxxx
good night Esme, xo
Sister Wolf,
I am with you in all of your pain as the day is long. I believe in you. I believe in your ability to survive this. I once said to you, I hate Tom Waits and you agreed. And I said, but wait! I love Leonard Cohen and you agreed. I will stand with you until the end. I hope you live forever. I wish you live in BFE with me and we would share an alcoholic beverage of your choice while we called everyone whores and denounced christianity. You have an open invitation to central illinois.
Take much care and fuck all of the whores.
xoxoxo,
Ash
These blog comments are blowing my mind. This is the internet at its finest. It’s like, creme de la creme of interweb hate. The funny thing is, the more these haters come here to comment their shit, the more hits your site gets and the more popular it becomes. They are truly just shooting themselves in the foot.
SW, I think you rock, and your blog rocks. You say things about douchbags that we all want to say. Well, at least some of us since it seems that there’s a lot of douchbag defenders here.
Why are these trolls getting so personal, trying to think of the nastiest most hurtful thing to say.
Oh well. Resume.
WHORE! WHORE! WHORE! WHORE! WHORE! WHORE! – That felt good.
ENOUGH!!
This is not funny ….. any of it.
Ladies, behave.
What’s the point? You obviously can’t take it since you’ve started censoring me.
But I’ll try another go anyways. I’m flattered that someone pretended to be me. But they fucking
Sam – HaHahahhahahaha! It DOES feel good. xo
Andra – Ladies?!? Hardly. Thanks for trying, though.
Monique – “Anyways” isn’t a word, you fucking inbred moron.
oops, I mean, WHORE!
Oh, and don’t even pretend like your mockery is “satire.” Anyone with half a brain can
Hahahahahaha! You’re such a big baby! Uncensor
Nevermind, just keep being an obsessed crazy bitch because !
PSYCHO. OBSESSED. JEALOUS!
HYPOCRITE.