Look Like a Horsey at Two Price Points

If someone wearing these jeans came galloping toward me, I’d have a stroke. Don’t they remind you of a satyr from Greek mythology? Or are they just hideous?       (Cheap Monday, $87 at Shopbop)

Less Dionysian but grotesque in its own right is this suede number that would probably look more acceptable with the butt cut out, at least for a gay rodeo.     (Haute Hippie, $695, Shopbop)

Stupid and laughable, yes, but I know a trend when I see one. I’m going to call this look “Tragic Mountain Goat” unless someone’s got a better idea.

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24 Responses to Look Like a Horsey at Two Price Points

  1. Miss Janey says:

    Tragic mountain goat sounds about right. Are we not in a recession? And this is what people are expected to spend money on?

  2. sonja says:


  3. Suebob says:

    Do they have them in size 18? That would be so freaking hilarious, and I say this as a Person of Considerable Size.

  4. Sheri says:


    I’ve come to the conclusion that ShopBop’s closet (!) specialty is ugly pants.

    I’m surprised you didn’t include a “Pony Play” tag.

    Ick, I just looked at them again. Now I need to go wash my eyes out with soap.

  5. arline says:

    Fugly and stupid.

  6. Taylor says:

    I will admit readily I’m a huge fan of fringe, but this is too literal even for me.

    I spent hours and hours googling pony play and found this horrible European website.
    I posted one of the photos on my facebook and no one was even mildly interested. Whatever, the shit is fascinating.

  7. Aja says:

    I came here really expecting to see that Lenny Kravitz picture up. I am terribly disappointed.

  8. Sister Wolf says:

    Taylor – It is! But totally sickening, too.

    Aja- HAHAHAHA! And here I was all proud of myself for not talking about that picture.

  9. RLC says:

    The latter pair screams “hipster cowboy”; the former screams “knife attack”. Can’t and don’t want to decide which is uglier.

  10. RLC says:

    I would like to see someone wearing that second pair run through some revolving doors.

  11. Sister Wolf says:

    Sheri – THey have a lot of ugly skirts and dresses too, but I think I’ve developed a fetish for ugly pants.

    RLC – Hahahahahahaha, I like your thinking on the revolving door!

  12. Pam Power says:


  13. Carrie says:

    Before I recently moved away from Brooklyn I was meeting up with a friend near Greenpoint and had to exit the subway at the ridiculous carnival of hipsteria known as ‘Bedford Ave’ (I usually avoided this stop for the obvious damage it did to my “self esteem” by which I mean FUCKING RETINAS). On this particular day, I was witness to a young gal wearing fringed leather pants not unlike exhibit B, on a 90+ degree day. Paired with a sports bra. Yes, it was a really pricey Alexander Wang sports bra…but bitches it was still a fucking sports bra.

    Let’s review: Fringed. Leather. Pants. Sports Bra. July.

    This was around the time I knew I had outgrown Brooklyn. It was fun in my twenties but now that I’m into my thirties what once seemed funky or almost vaguely endearing (like the above-described twit) was starting to stink like a yogurt past the expiration date. Speaking of which…leather pants in July…

  14. Cricket9 says:

    I see the black ones in a performance of “Afternoon of a Faun” by the students of Ballet School of Mme. Zsousadzska. The shoes have to be replaced by the “goat boots” by Al Wang.
    The grey ones definitely need a cutout at the back.

  15. Kathleen says:

    Carrie- wow, I’m thinking even with the bra for a top I’d still pass out wearing pants like that in 90+ weather.

    Well, I do think the top pair would look cool as part of a costume. But they look more furry than fringed to me.

    Fringe is OK, but I like it just a BIT shorter than on those grey pants.

  16. Kathleen says:

    Oh, and for $695 I hope those suede pants are not lined in polyester.
    Drives me nuts to have a nice natural fabric/leather made uncomfortable by a poly lining.

  17. E says:

    Quick … call the knackerman ….

  18. dust says:

    First pair looks like a hairy pair of male legs with shaved calves, the other look can be easily achieved with precision vertical trimming.

  19. Sister Wolf says:

    Carrie – What a revolting image. It sounds like a “Tipping Point” as whatshisname would say. There is no excuse for it.

    Cricket9 – Afternoon of a Faun, YES, our brains are perfectly in tune!

  20. Elaine says:

    The second pair would look just KILLER with these shoes

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    Elaine – Jesus H Christ! WHy???????????????????????????

  22. Emily Bleak says:

    The price on that second pair had better include some sessions with a personal trainer…’cuz without a button on the fly, my beer belly would just explode right on through those monstrosities.

    Technically, I’d be pantsing myself.

  23. Cricket9 says:

    My eyes still hurt from looking at the “Luxury Jones” shoes. I had no idea that THAT’s luxury.

  24. Kiara Dorer says:

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