My Fellow Americans

my fellow Americans

I sink I need help.

I come to America to marry rich businessman, not to be chudged every minute by the crooked press and my hussband enemies.

I hate dis song “My Way” but Donald he don’t care. I tell him maybe Sid Vicious version but he von’t listen.

He get Ivanka to choose dress for me and look, a big roll of toilet paper across my breasts! She also give me underpants not spanx and you can see butt-cheeks! So embarrassment. Ivanka you little whore, I will heet you TEN TIMES HARDER.

Ivanka should have to dance with her papa, let her smell hees breath and the crap on hees hair. Let her keep face still when he sing words in ear and try to step on foot.

Whole event make me miss Slovenia for first time. Back with friends and beauty contests and time for my language studies! Now it’s all Donald Donald Donald and Where is Barron.

My poor little Barron, how I can protect heem I don’t know. He chust want to play peek-a-boo and count his fingers all day. Now he start wetting bed again unless that is Donald, no way to tell.

I bring Michelle Obama present from Tiffany and she look like she never see blue box in whole life! The blacks maybe don’t allowed in Tiffany? But I show I am gracious First Lady, that ees all.

I hope they make up separate bed for me and Barron tonight. Then I vill know who peed.

 

 

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10 Responses to My Fellow Americans

  1. YouKnow says:

    The news didn’t report what was in the Tiffany box: a little note under the tissue saying “Help me.”

  2. Madam Restora says:

    Not sure if all that rampant ethnocentrism is ideal in a ‘world leader’, but it will be very interesting to see how this shit storm unfolds…….from my viewing platform on the other side of the world.
    Would have loved to have heard the conversation between Barack and Michelle once they got on that plane and tucked into their first two g & ts.
    In my (uneducated) view, it seems the US has gone from having almost two presidents to now barely scraping together one whole person between those two nitwits.

  3. Lindsay says:

    Some of your best work, Sister Wolf

  4. D. says:

    Not getting so many comments lately….so I’ve noticed.

  5. Sister Wolf says:

    Youknow – Hahahaha

    Madame Restora – After seeing all those marches yesterday, I’m relieved that the rest of the world is watching this bozo and siding with normalcy!

    Lindsay – Wow, that’s nice of you, thanks!

    D. – Well, maybe everybody is sick of me?

  6. T says:

    “And now the end is near” “Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew”. Sounds about right. Perfect song choice.

  7. Dana says:

    Ur a f@cking genius

  8. Dj says:

    Melania looked lost, out if her depth and bewildered half the time Friday. She is not going to like little provincial DC one bit…tea with the Iowa Ladies Auxillary? No! Soup kitchen duty? Hell no. The drafty old White House? Ha! Trump supporters have been bitching about the money spent by the Obamas for vacation? NYC is paying $500k per DAY to protect the trumps in trump tower! Not to mention when he goes to Florida etc. a loathe some situation…..is it over yet?

  9. David Duff says:

    Well I ‘lurve’ her! She is beautiful, she is slim, she is elegant, she very sensibly keeps her mouth shut and she comes from one of the most beautiful countries in Europe – so what’s not to like? My only complaint is that she fails to reply to any of my letters!

    Anyway, I thought you might like a one-liner doing the rounds ‘over here’: “In just one day, Trump got more fat women out walking than Michelle Obama did in eight years!”

  10. AndreaM says:

    Oh my God, I needed that. Putin’s Bitch’s Bitch bitching away… brilliant!! You made my week, I’m literally on the floor, laughing and typing.

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