Bill, I love your show, and I know you’re a player, but let me give you a new rule: Don’t date women who might ‘go public’ when you’re through with them. I’m just saying.
Here’s what your ex, Karrine Steffans, says:
“Bill wants someone he can put down in an argument, tell you how ghetto you are, how big your butt is, and that you’re an idiot. That’s why you never see him with a white girl or an intellectual.”
Even when she’s completely messed up, like here at the MTV Europe Music Awards, Amy is a goddess. I can’t take my eyes off her! I want to have sex with her, or take care of her, or just devote the rest of my life to her.
Amy Amy Amy Amy.
Remember Starving Girl from Shopbop? This model from Active Endeavors is even more close to death, I think. I would like to see her on an IV Drip, as soon as possible.
Eat, IV Drip Girl, before it’s too late!
I barely know who he is, but I’m shocked to hear that Dog used the word ‘nigger’ on the phone. Can they prove it was really him? Surely not. Even though he’s spent time in a Mexican prison, it doesn’t mean he would use coarse language.
Now, Dog has had his TV thing suspended, despite his apologies to all the key figures in any Nigger Fracas. And plus, I just read that Dog doesn’t like Don Imus!
This really stinks. Dog has also lost some endorsement of nasal spray. I for one will still use that nasal spray to show my support, because I have sinus issues.
Can’t we all get the fuck along, or not? Halle Berry said ‘Jew’ on the Jay Leno show, and now this. Where will it end?
Karen Hughes has resigned as George Bush’s undersecretary of state for public diplomacy and public affairs. Condi accepted her resignation and noted of Hughes: “She has done a remarkable job.”
As we now know, this can be translated to: She has accomplished nothing and we’re lucky she didn’t single-handedly start WWIII.
I guess Amy Winehouse had some difficulties during her recent concert in Germany. It breaks my heart to think she may not be able to pull herself together. Still, it’s fun to read this wacky Google translation of a German review.
“And then they arrived, the little person with a big hairdo…”
Yes, yes, such a little person, such a big hairdo. Even the Germans understand the essence of Amy.
Achtung! You can read the original review here.
I’ve been trying to explain to my husband why I can’t stand the expression “Good stuff!” How do you explain the irritating nature of this stupid rejoinder? “Great stuff” is the same. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. Why do people say this? What did they use to say instead? It is fucking meaningless, and yet I hear it constantly. My husband asked me pointedly if I’d prefer “True ‘dat!” and I have to say, yes, it’s at least more specific and less inane.
“Ya think?” is also killing me. Who started this? Is it from some TV show or something? Did Fonzie say it, or some contemporary version of Fonzie? I presume it means the same as “Duh,” but when I hear it, I want to puncture my eardrums.
In the world of business and politics, I think that both “transparency” and “robust” have reached the tipping point or jumped the shark. Or whatever term is gaining traction. (Get it?!)
Slightly less grating but still an awful trend is the use of “insanely” as a synonym for “very.” I have read about coats that are insanely chic, and dresses that are insanely versatile. I understand “insanely jealous,” because it connotes a deranged quality. Maybe the coats and dresses are nuts. If not, I wish we could have some editorial standards. As if.
Last night I watched a TV make-over show for the first time. “What Not To Wear” features a pair of obnoxious “fashion authorities” who convert a normal looking person who has developed their own style, into a bland non-entity you’d never look twice at.
The show I watched involved a sweet 33 year old woman who just got a promotion at work and dressed like a classic rockabilly chick. Most of her clothes were black, with lots of skulls, cherries, and crosses. She loved leopard print handbags and coats. She would have a blast at Hot Topic, in other words. It wasn’t very original, but it was a Look.
The “experts,” Stacy and Clinton, who look like a Persian housewife and an aging preppy hairdresser, respectively, tore into the poor woman like hungry jackals, and I guess that’s supposed to be the fun part of the show. Maybe it’s fun to watch average people being ridiculed? They witlessly mocked her taste in clothes, and dumped all her stuff into a big box. She looked genuinely freaked out.
In the end, Stacy and Clinton had persuaded the woman to cut her long natural hair into a frizzy mass of dyed layers, and she modeled some new outfits that made her look generically frumpy and at least ten years older. Now she can fit in anywhere, especially at Target.
The funny thing is, I actually imagined that a show called “What Not To Wear” would transform ugly ducklings into swans. Silly me! The goal is to divest everyone of their individual quirks, and send them home looking like a bank teller.
I would love to see Stacy in a burka, and Clinton in a prison outfit or maybe a coffin.
I’ve been worried ever since that birthday cake chimp attack, so it’s good to have some advice on this subject. Slate tells us how to behave around an angry monkey, but I think the first step is to avoid New Delhi.
And of course, if an angry monkey approaches you, don’t make eye contact and don’t smile. Kind of like when you’re in an elevator or at Neiman Marcus.
When a protester appeared at a Congressional hearing and stuck her blood-painted hands in Condi’s face, the Secretary of State gave her a look like, “Get up out my grill, bitch!”
Whoa! Condi didn’t flinch. What does it take to unsettle that war criminal?! Even Ann Coulter ducks when you throw a cake at her. Watch the encounter here.
