Quick, Name Your Style!


God, I hate change, and now Shopbop has ignored the maxim “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I was perfectly happy with the website and its Dysfunctional Family of glaring anorexic models.

Now, they have introduced a handy way to shop by giving you 5 style profiles.   And I’m too paralyzed with indecision to go forward.   Am I Bohemian, Edgy, Girly, Classic or Casual Chic?

I’m going to rule out Bohemian. I’m pretty sure I hate that look. I’m thinking fringe, beads, caftans, headbands, horrible prints, and stuff they sell at Anthropologie.   I even hated that shit when I was a hippie.

Casual chic? As if. Girly? I can’t even walk in heels! Classic? What do they mean by that?? Classic what? Classic Secretary or Classic Hooker? That leaves me with Edgy.

Please god, don’t say I’m Edgy. I know that’s not my category. I don’t have any harem pants or big clompy wedges. I don’t want a bracelet shaped like a chicken claw! Leave me alone, Edgy!

I have already identified my style as Geriatric Tomboy, but they didn’t list it at Shopbop. If you have a style they overlooked, now is the time to define it.

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19 Responses to Quick, Name Your Style!

  1. crocodilian says:

    The link above is magnificent.

    Through the process of elimination, you ended up with the category which probably has the most things for you to hate… chloe sevigny boots, two different harem pants, the horrible madewell jeans you mentioned a while back, acid wash, hundred dollar bike shorts, and – my personal favorite – a “chute suit”. I’d rather chute myself!

  2. did they not think of geek chic or is that edgy. Oh what do I care give me the tamiflu virus thing now as I’m wallowing in self pity and fatigue even a shop bop feature can’t raise a smile or a witty thought – shoot ’em and be done.

  3. minzhi says:

    Hey I wanna ‘shop your closet’
    but where is it?

  4. jennine says:

    somehow this has a feel to it much like… which my little pony are you? I’m pretty much the one with a rainbow on my ass.

  5. Sal says:

    Predictive modeling is great, but does it HAVE to infiltrate every website in existence?

  6. My current look is too tired to care…

  7. Deni says:

    Like “minzhi Says” says, I want to shop your closet too! And soon I’ll actually be able to wear your clothing. Stress is a remarkable dietetic! I thank you for making me laugh before my work day begins!

  8. HelOnWheels says:

    Currently I’m favoring the “Overworked Uninterested Bitch” style: I’ll wear anything in my mostly black and grey wardrobe that’s clean. Accessories? HA!! They should be happy that I don’t show up at work in my ratty flip-flops!

  9. Jill says:

    I’m too overwhelmed with my new phone to come up with a pithy retort…as I flounce around the house in my flowy tye-died caftan, braids and multiple bangles, singing Hallelujah. xoxo

  10. dust says:

    I see that nobody has the inspiration….
    And I’m way too much fashion advanced to belong to any of the categories.

    The frontal embarrassment below…. They edited the interview, cut out all the funny bits and left this awkward pieces of monologue. The lady didn’t sleep that night, had to finish the embroidery, so she looks like raccoon. All silks in the collection are hand painted, with dead pigeons on mind. Really.
    Collection is called RAT – race against time.


  11. arline says:

    I would rather not be labeled.

  12. Bex says:


  13. hammie says:

    Girly on the edge, in heels. xx

    And that link is HILARIOUS. I think that model used to sit on my Nana’s cistern.

  14. OMGGMAB says:

    I cannot develop a personal fashion until I ditch the “Early American Fisherprice” look for my home. Fashion is so hard . .

  15. alittlelux says:

    once in middle school i asked my mother why i wasn’t allowed to watch daria, and she told me it was for my own good and to protect me from becoming “edgy”… perhaps if she had allowed me some daria, my style would be much easier to identify?

  16. Sister Wolf says:

    Sardonique – That is so not your style.

    crocodilian – You’re right, but what’s a chute suit again??

    Make Do -You poor thing, I can’t believe they gave you this virus!!!

    minzhi – It went to ebay, I am sad to report.

    jennine – Yep, and while we’re on the subject, have you ever thought how much Beyonce looks like My Pretty Pony??

    Sal -I think it does.

    Iheartfashion – Oh, see, you thought of a great new category!

    deni – My closet is open, just let me know.

    Jill – I can picture you doing that, and you look beautiful.

    dust- I can’t get that link to play! Help!

    arline -What are you, a terrorist?!?

    Bex – Haha, they forgot that one! Idiots!

    Hammie – I would like to see more pictures of you, to learn your style. I know it involves a lot of pink.

    OMGGMAB – I remember that look!

    alittlelux -I hope you watch Daria now. I loved Daria! There was a lesbian episode, so that is super edgy.

  17. alittlelux says:

    haha! i pretty much snuck everything i wasn’t allowed to watch which was A LOT. so yes, i did end up watching daria but always at a friend’s house.

  18. My boss hates the word “edgy,” and has banned it from the office. Also “unique.” It’s been really tough writing about fashion and not using “unique” or “edgy.” If I could wear Ann D. suits & black dresses every day I probably would. So that makes me boyf edgy?

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