The Curse of the Topshop Jacket

topshop-sequin-jacket

I saw this jacket late at night when I was, ahem,   on my sleeping medication.   It took me nearly thirty minutes of struggling with Topshop’s login system to make the purchase. At several points during the procedure, I asked my self if perhaps god didn’t want me to buy this jacket. My self was too medicated to ponder god’s plan.

The very next day, Queen Michelle wrote about ordering the jacket. Suddenly, everyone and her mother* was wearing this jacket and blogging about it, posing in it triumphantly with their skinnies (and/or touching their faces with one hand.)

Naturally, I dreaded the arrival of the jacket and filled out a return form in anticipation. I didn’t bother to try it on; I didn’t want anything to do with it.

topshop-jacket-carlatopshop-jacket-betty

topshop-jacket-seaofshoesmom

From the top left, bloggers Carla, Betty, and Sea of Shoes’ Mom*.

Let me say that I dress how I please, without regard to trends or age-appropriateness.   My personal style is called Geriatric Tomboy . It is based around jeans, men’s shoes, gaudy jewelry and leather jackets. It hasn’t really evolved in 35 years and until I switch over to the mourning attire, who cares anyway.

But I can’t stand the idea of being another chump in this Topshop jacket!   It’s just too depressing.   Now I’ve got the money back and I can recycle it, buying more pointless crap and torturing myself over my greed and lack of self control.   But at least I won’t be wearing that fucking jacket, which -with all due respect – looked pretty cheap in real life.

Now, let’s hear a bunch of sanctimonious objections like “Who cares if everyone else has it, blah blah blah!”   or even “I’d rock that jacket anyway!”   Someone out there knows exactly what I’m talking about – right?

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29 Responses to The Curse of the Topshop Jacket

  1. Anna says:

    Yes. Oh yes. And have I missed out on some excellent stuff? Yes. Am I still happy with my choices? Yes.

  2. Sofi says:

    It was kind of freaky how fast that jacket made its way around so many blogs. I don’t see the appeal, personally, but yeah if it matters, I think you made a good choice.

  3. Queen Michelle says:

    Aw no picture of me? Was it because I didn’t touch my face in my photograph, or wear it with jeans?? I really should learn to touch my face more often in photographs.

  4. kansas says:

    love the jacket. had my eye on it for awhile. karla looks great in it and although i love sea of shoes’ mama, once i saw it on her i decided not to get it. i guess she was the too much hype marker. again. late. maybe more sense this time?

  5. dust says:

    I don’t believe in hype anyway. It’s too easy and non democratic, just to add to the knock offs comment of yesterday.
    Weird that you mention Geriatric as description of your style, I’ve been a long time fan of Geriatric styles, but on me it just looks cute, damn it.

    But, right, back to the jacket. I can show you the way to many other better looking jackets, whatta heck, I’ll make you one!!!!!
    Non of you my favorite bloggers will ever have to share a style with Karla!
    Hear that Michelle?

  6. hammie says:

    why are they touching their faces? Do they all have blind pimples caused by the sweat of the underage workers who sewed all those spangles on to the jacket?

    fuck the jacket. Just get a bedazzler which you can order from the shopping channel while under the influence of medication. I think it’s due for a comeback xx

  7. andrea says:

    I agree. Once so many people have it, we must move onto the next thing. Once it’s mainstream- it’s ruined. Good for you! This morning in Thursday Styles in the NY Times there’s a front page article on how round glasses are “it” this summer. That means for me, not to go there. It’s done.

  8. Sal says:

    Good riddance. You would’ve hated wearing it, so you’re better off. I like Hammie’s Bedazzler suggestion. But then, I just like the idea of Bedazzling everything …

  9. Oh wow, I was in a similar situation… saw the jacket before it hit the blogs, and fell into deep lust. However, even though I was also under the influence of medication, I did not hit that “add to cart” button. So glad that even in my befuddled state I was able to see that this would be yet another piece of clothing I’ll wear once or twice, then have to find someone else to pawn it off on. Perhaps I knew I couldn’t pose with my hand to face? Glad you came to your senses — Queen Michelle is the only one thus far that I think can pull it off, the others look ridiculous.
    Cheers!
    Suzanne
    (Who hopes to hit up the Soho Top Shop today… yes a glutton for punishment.)

  10. Cat says:

    I don’t know, it’s a nice jacket, and unless you know these people personally, they’re pretty scattered across the world, I don’t think it’s the sort of thing you’d bang into someone else wearing on an average day. It’s an if you really like it get it situation, don’t worry about anyone else.

  11. Ash says:

    This is the exact reason that I sew all of my own clothing. Well, that and poverty! Woo!

  12. Deni says:

    OMG! My x used to have a jacket similar to the one above, in 1970 something . . . with matching boots. I’m so glad you didn’t buy it. What a close call! I guess it’s true what they say, “Same old drag (shmatta?) with brand new price tag.”
    I like your style. You are unique, the Borg could never assimilate you. Hmmm, it would be the other way around.

  13. WendyB says:

    Andrea, you definitely have to read my post tomorrow.

    Wolf, you know I ordered the jacket while on Ambien too. It still hasn’t turned up! Maybe it never will. But I admit I am turned off by the idea of it now, especially as I am incapable of the correct “touching their faces with one hand” pose. You know how I am, smiling my big toothy smile in all my pictures. But, if it eventually arrives and looks AWESOME on me, that would override any issues about who else is wearing what. Ultimately I care more about how I look than how anyone else looks and who is wearing what, because as we all know, the world revolves around me. And Oprah.

  14. dust says:

    Note to Wendy : ” the world revolves around me” explains it all.
    The real truth has never been so close, I can almost feel the hand touching my face.

  15. Sonia Luna says:

    I like that jacket, I saw it on Kingdom Of Style and thought Queen Michelle looked great wearing it, but then she seems to look great in everything!
    I know what you mean, even though you’re not likely to bump into any of the bloggers who are wearing this jacket, it’s ubiquitousness makes you tired of it even before you have a chance to see it for real!

  16. Now I’m only posting photos of me touching my belly. Which really means me itching my belly in public. The whole “I feel faint and have something in my eye” Topshop Jacket pose is so over! And I’m jumping on the Geriatric Cowboy bandwagon.

  17. alittlelux says:

    i know how you feel… i’ve had two instances with a dress and uh… underwear set showing up on rock of love. that felt good. and said dress was also worn by lindsay lohan. embarrassing as i do not dress like a rock of love reject… both have been quietly retired….

    oh the shame.

  18. honeypants says:

    You can’t have that ‘cos it’s fashionable? Other people have it? What are you some kind of *HIPSTER* or something? Geesh!

    (Honestly, I don’t think it’s all that remarkable. But then that’s why I’m so unfashionable!)

  19. Bex says:

    Screw the jacket! Buy more shoes!

  20. I’d follow the Shopbop copywriter’s advice – I’m sure she’d say
    ‘A versitle jacket with a distressed metallic edge and a suprise addition is the off centre zip action – work well with our leggings with skirt, overlay.’

    There now you are seriously glad you haven’t got it!

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    Anna – High five.

    Sofi – Yay, me!

    Queen Michelle – I will be teaching a course in face-touching. Call my assistant.

    Kansas – Perfect sense.

    dust – I used to look cute in those vintage grandma sweaters, too! YES, make me a jacket, pleeeeeeeease.

    Hammie – Hahaha, okay, will do.

    andrea – round glasses are never good, and won’t be 10 years from now. Instead of ‘jumped the shark” should we say “jumped sea-of-shoes’ mom?”

    Sal – Yay, bedazzler. Where do you get one, Target?

    Suzanne aka – WHAT MEDICATION ARE YOU ON?? Yours is better!

    Cat – Thanks, that is the comment I was waiting for.

    Ash – Will you make me something, then? I am also indigent, but I forget that late at night. xo

    Deni – Your ex?!?!?!?! Photos???

    WendyB -Notice that I refrained from Outing you. Such is my love for you. However, the world appears to revolve around my teenager. (Plus, there is no way you’re gonna keep it, wait and see)

    dust -HAHAHAHAHA!

    Sonia Luna -Bingo.

    Fashion herald – Use a nice non-greasy moisturizer on the tummy. And I hope you meant ‘tomboy’, not cowboy. Although I will support you either way.

    alittlelux -Whoa, that was some rotten luck.

    honeypants -That’s Mrs. Crypto-hipster, if you please.

    Bex – Good advice, I’m on it!

    Make Do -Hahaha. that ‘overlay’ is going to haunt you forever!

  22. editor says:

    oh, and re. “posing in it triumphantly with their skinnies (and/or touching their faces with one hand”…
    HA HA HA HA HA

  23. WendyB says:

    But my teenagers think the world revolves around them! The world is out of fucking control!

  24. Jill says:

    “and/or touching their faces with one hand”…too fucking funny!

  25. Nicole says:

    That’s how I feel about all High Street shops. I get sick of seeing the same slaves wearing the same items. Let’s support the new designers who have an imagination and don’t just rip off the leading brands.

  26. Aja says:

    Thank you for posting this. I thought I was going batshit crazy when I noticed EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER (sea of shoes) appeared to have the same jacket. Glad I didn’t think about purchasing it for a second.

  27. kate says:

    worser and worser (or at least so for me) is that I’m thinking I’m going to have to “retire” my gorgeous vintage fifties sequin jacket left to me by my mother since it too closely resembles the many such jackets permeating the blogosphere. But I love that jacket.

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