The Saddest Shoes in the World


These shoes make me want to cry.   They look like a pre-school project. Which is usually a good thing. But not when they cost $1,605.

How long before those cheap little rhinestones start to fall off? If shoes can feel embarrassed, this one is dying inside.

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44 Responses to The Saddest Shoes in the World

  1. annemarie says:

    They look like an old, worn-out whore.

  2. Suebob says:

    I bought these same shoes on for $16.50 plus free shipping. And I think I got screwed.

  3. MoBee says:

    Oh, sistuh! U maka-me-laf-soooo-hard!

    shoe-sad cheap Ho neon bootie sandal maka-me-cry-soooo-hard.
    click, kick on cobblestone highway.
    Paste “crystals and stones”
    could feed many mouths dying inside.

  4. Miggs says:

    But most importantly, will Jane buy them?

  5. honeypants says:

    Where’s the dried macaroni and Popsicle sticks?!?!?!

  6. Aja says:

    I think we need to have a DIY this shoe contest.

  7. WendyB says:

    Hmmm…well, the colors are cheerful at least!

  8. youvegotbadtaste says:

    Oh man, those are so ugly!!!!! I wanna see who shells out money for these atrocities!!

  9. Hammie says:

    Honeypants! Don’t give them ideas. I actually modelled similar accessories as a 4 year old; styled up with a macaroni necklace and a skirt from the dressing up box….. Oh wait, that WAS kindergarten !

  10. Sister Wolf get busy with your hoarded collection and raise the price tag by adding Barbie gems.

  11. Sarah.p says:

    Looks like a five year old got hopped up on six pounds of jelly beans and threw up for half an hour. I don’t get it. Then again I’m wearing conker coloured lace-up ladies brogues from Clarke’s, so plainly I’m the wrong girl to comment.

  12. Jill says:

    Bedazzled gone awry

  13. boops says:

    it’s like they’re trying to look like the happiest shoes on the outside, but they’re really empty and sad on the inside…

  14. OMGGMAB says:

    Aw boops, don’t judge a shoe by its rhinstones. They really want to be pretty. They were promised Swarvoski crystals, but got Sam Stanski beads instead. They got screwed too and are now feeling so shallow.

    But I think these might look fabulous on my feet, at the beach.

  15. TheShoeGirl says:

    WOW- I saw these at Bergdorf in NY and said the exact same thing! Pre-school shoe project. It’s no better in person. Blah.

  16. TheShoeGirl says:

    I think designers are tricking people to see just how ugly/expensive they can make a shoe before we realize the joke is on us…

  17. Vee says:

    These aren’t the first insane shoes to come out of Giuseppe. He did make these fish carcass shoes…
    Now, I could possibly wear the carcass shoes. But the baby prostitute monstrosities Sister Wolf posted have no redeeming factors.

  18. Kate says:

    On a foot and viewed from across the room they might be alright. Okay, I just like the little ammo-belt looking thing in the middle of the macaroni craft madness. Makes me think Kindergarten Cop.

  19. dust says:

    Luckily, natural selection will take care of these!

  20. Ann says:

    I would name those shoes Liza Minnelli. Not because I think she’d wear them, but something about the garish external and empty internal brought her name to mind. Instantly.

  21. SA says:

    Does it remind anyone else of those candy dots that you have to peel off the paper?

  22. Braindance says:

    Yep, this shoe brings back memories of when I did rainbow puke

    I did have fun finding shoes just as bad though,

    I like this game, especially since my boss thinks I’m working.
    And when your boss is also your husband, that has an even sweeter immature taste.

    And I worship at the altar of McQueen like the next girl, but please

  23. Mary says:

    Shoes can make a woman believe she is the most ravishing woman in the world,is no doubt that christian louboutin have done even better.

  24. Braindance says:

    Mary,Mary, Mary, what have you done?
    I am now convinced that I need 2 pair of Louboutins for the price of 1
    In the words of R ‘in the closet’ Kelly: My bodaaay is telling me yes, but my mind is telling me noooooo

  25. Mary says:

    i had bought one pair of christianloubou pump from store, great price, the quality really good.
    like original.. you can visit that store, good luck.

  26. Braindance says:

    oh, I see.
    Is not the real deal, still, lovely shoe shoes

  27. Mary says:

    why not? they sell the products online,i think they are best seller, the service is very great.
    and accept payment,

  28. TheShoeGirl says:

    Well Mary, child labor is one reason why NOT. Terrible conditions is factories that produce knock-offs is another reason why NOT.

  29. Mary says:

    but i can see the quality is great, i had a friend already get the boots before bought in 6 days.the reason why i said they are best seller,do you understant now?

  30. Deni says:

    I’ve seen enough to want to see no more . . . I must pluck my eyes out with my mother’s toga clips (they do have a name but it has slipped my mind) and meander the landscape shoeless and sightless. Oh, the horror, the horror!

  31. Vee says:

    Well, now I’ve seen it all. Shoe spambots that have conversations (well, not really, but close) with other commenters! Skynet has become self-aware, indeed.

  32. Braindance says:

    Man, I am so naive, I wanted to believe that a lowly churl like I could get some expensive dreams on the cheap.
    And now I am, like Vee says talking to a spambot.
    Spambot, I want electric blue status shoes to wear to the librarians Christmas party, not the sweat and tears of children.
    Ah well, back to the sensible brogues from Hush Puppy, it was good whilst it lasted.

  33. Ann says:

    Ew, a computer generated conversation with a spam bot!!! Sometimes I hate the internet.

  34. jocelyn says:

    great shoes,i bought one pair of christian louboutin shoes from last friday, i just received the shoes from EMS guys.only 5days,fast, the quality look like really great my friend ask me buy one pair again with her. i think theshoesgirl said is wrong, wrong,wrong,wrong…

  35. jocelyn says:

    i will wear my shoes to join my birthday party! i will most sexy,beautiful in the happy i own one pair christian louboutin shoes now.

  36. jocelyn says:

    Marry, thanks for your info.cheers

  37. TheShoeGirl says:

    “the quality look like really great my friend ask me buy one pair again with her.”


    That is all.

  38. Vee says:

    Hm. “Theshoesgirl” and “Marry,” huh? Alright, these probably aren’t robots.

  39. Deni says:

    I felt left out not having a shoe site, so above I plastered the numbers and letters and symbols that will bring you to the only place I can afford to shop (on my good days).

  40. Sister Wolf says:

    Mary and Jocelyn – Will you two spambots congregate somewhere else? Where’s the Ugg spambot? Can’t we humans be left in peace to complain about shoes for god sake? Fuck off!

  41. Imelda Matt says:

    As one would expect I’ve seen worse (occupational hazard)…not a lot worse…but worse nonetheless.

    It still doesn’t mean my eyes aren’t bleeding!

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