Somehow over time, I have managed to sign up for updates at fifty thousand shopping sites. It takes me hours to sift through this shit daily, but I don’t have the will power to un-register from any of these lists.
Today I looked at Ron Herman, a swanky hipster boutique in Los Angeles that carries all the usual designer jeans, ugly terrorist scarves and cropped leather jackets. Ugh. I scrolled down dutifully and saw this new ring by Vivienne Westwood. $875, and kind of nothing looking.
But I said to my self, Self, I bet that ring is much cheaper in the UK. I went over here to Hervia.com and Bingo! $328, using the currency converter!
How much would you want to kill yourself if you’d bought this ring at Ron Herman?!
I am the savviest shopper you’ll ever meet. When I watch Dexter (a GREAT series on Showtime,) I find my self thinking, Oh look, she’s wearing a James Perse shirt that costs $145 unless you find one of those online coupons. I think about this really quickly but often end up having to ask my husband what just happened. He stops the show using our magic Tivo-like thingy, and angrily explains what’s going on.
Anyway, I am full of shopping knowledge that is mostly useless but occasionally comes in handy. I have a personal relationship with every one of the Shopbop models, and I know where you can get those ugly Rats by Sass and Bide in a new PVC-look fabric.
If only I can stick with my new conviction that ordering shit online will never, ever lead to fulfillment. I have a shoe store under my bed to prove it, and stacks of jeans that I barely recognize. We’ll see if I’m capable of learning anything.
If you didn’t listen to my latest radio appearance, then you won’t know that I ended up talking about the Mexican celebration known as Day of the Dead. Here is a beautiful photo of me and my niece with a Blue Demon Guy, who gave me a piece of candy.
* Stay tuned for the Crazy Mother Club, coming soon.
Not only will you save $500 by buying the ring on-line, you won’t risk getting into a car accident in the Fred Segal parking lot. Both the Melrose and the Santa Monica locations’ lots are treacherous, what with the drug-addled Olsen Twins zipping around in their Range Rovers, and all the other selfish SUV-driving whores.
Wow — good shopping around!
I’m still halfway through your broadcast. I just can’t get past the Top End police report. Part 2 today.
xx
I can’t get the ruddy podcast thing to work!
How weird to read a post about shopping again….
WHAT??? You know where to get the Rats in a new PVC look fabric??? PLEASE tell me tell me tell me, email me, use ESP, smokescreens, snail mail, anything!
You two are gorgeous! Have you seen WendyB’s scary skull ring? Very cool like this.
You deffo know your stuff.
How are you going to control yourself with the upcoming shoe sales?
consumers!!!!
completely forgot about compulsive shopping during the smear fest……
i am ridiculously poor and insane.
i get new clothes when the ones i wear start falling apart…and then i keep the falling-apart ones.
forever.
Mark – You said it. Too true.
WendyB- Thanks!
Hammie – How did you like it???
Make do – PLEASE make it work. Sorry about changing the subject…it’s for my mental health.
fashion herald – Done.
K-line – Oh god, Wendy’s ring is the shit, much nicer!
enc – I’m gonna have someone lock me in my room.
dewayne – Are you saying you need me to get you some clothes? Because you know I will.
Yay for Day of the Dead! Sue me, but I think it’s way superior to Halloween. I was going to make sugar skulls, too, but it was too rainy in Portland and they wouldn’t set correctly….
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