Comments for Jane 3/11/2010

Most recently, Sea was thrilled to acquire a garish coat that matched the dowdy skirt she had earlier obtained from a shop in Dallas. Now she can wear them together and look like a kooky bag lady from the 70s.

More important, in my opinion, is the price of her new brogues, pictured above. Barneys is nice enough to send me catalogues even though I never go there, and now in the latest catalog, uh-oh,   Sea’s shoes, priced at $795. No wonder she was so excited when they arrived!

Sea and Mom show no signs of slowing down this frenzy of spending. It’s not Sea’s fault, though. She is the Bristol to Mom’s Sarah. She hasn’t had a chance to learn anything about anything. If only Mom would let her watch TV! I don’t believe for a minute that Sea’s other blog is her own project. The nudity, the KKK, the horrible fish. It seems like the work of a demented pedophile.

Oh well. Sea doesn’t want to hear your comments, but you can leave them here anyway. I’ll go first:

Dear Sea, Why those Comme des Garcons saddle shoes for $795?? Remember you just got those Givenchy flats for $450! It’s good that you’re not worried about money but it’s also good to just “live.” (That’s the stuff people do when they’re not shopping or posing or tweeting.) I don’t think I’m ever going to get through to you but I’ll keep trying.   Maybe you should read Gravity’s Rainbow again. Bye for now, love, SW.

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37 Responses to Comments for Jane 3/11/2010

  1. Dear Jane you were so cute on Bryan Boy’s little video, my heart went out to you as you were only concerned about how you were dressed. We all worry that you aren’t experiencing the full facet of life. I’ll add to your book list and suggest Somerset Maughan ‘Of Human Bondage’. If you don’t read the book watch the 1934 film with Bette Davies in it as Mildred. Mildred is a cautionary tale of all things shiny and new. xx

  2. Faux Fuchsia says:

    Dear Jane,
    I worry about you. Have you filled out your college applications yet? Someone told me that you now have a personal assistant. It’s not Consuela is it? Take care, Love FF x

  3. Iron Chic says:

    Everyone is worried about Jane not going to college. Fuck college, that is just further sheltering from life. She needs to move out of Trophy Club with one change of clothes and $100 and go somewhere and survive.
    You have to make shit hard for yourself sometimes.

  4. Ann says:

    I didn’t realize Jane had a personal assistant now! So rad!

  5. MJ says:

    Jane, read The Great Gatsby and Age of Innocence repeatedly, until they stop boring you (OMG, middle aged people, eew…what was the Countess wearing again?) AND you are suddenly struck by the way both stories are tragic and can see limitations, and mistakes, and the foolishness of superficiality through the main character’s eyes.

    This transition generally occurs in the 20s. You will be better for it.

    Also, I had Bass saddle shoes in the 1980s and they cost less than $100.

  6. missjackie says:

    Dear Jane,

    You terrorize me because you don’t post more often than once a week. WTF ARE YOU SO BUSY WITH??? Your taste in shoes has changed from avant-garde to just plain IDIOTIC. GIRLS YOUR AGE SHOULD BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT LOSING THEIR VIRGINITY, NOT WHERE THEIR NEXT WEIRDO “PIECE” IS COMING FROM. I’d appreciate if you ate a sandwich. Preferably one with loads of bacon, cheese and mayo. You need the extra pounds, because all the weight in your head is making you look like a lollipop. Does it bother you that your washed-up mom is marginally prettier than you and that your sister is marginally mainstream and NORMAL?

    Forget a personal assistant. I think you need a swift kick in the ass.


  7. missjackie says:

    Jane, P.S.
    that “trenchcoat” you designed is UNFORTUNATELY right up my alley.
    Too bad for you, there’s no way I’m spending $795 on it, to go DIRECTLY to your sticky fingers. I plan to wait until it’s on SUPER DUPER CLEARANCE on shopbop [hopefully modeled by goony bird herself] and I also plan to use as many COUPON codes as possible.

    Jane, do you even KNOW what a coupon is? That’s a magical piece of paper that civilians use to make things LESS EXPENSIVE.

  8. aimee-WTF says:

    Jane seems to have popped out of my childhood where the biggest indult to someone was to claim they bought something on sale.

    But I think what is most shocking is that she’s wearing Levis. Trying to be one of the commoners.

  9. Concerned Reader says:

    Dear Jane,

    I pity the poor man who marries you, your closet and what is soon to be your bankruptcy hearing.


  10. andrea says:

    I know that everyone is on the “hate Jane” bandwagon, and I personally feel uncomfortable giving a child everything so that they don’t know what it is like to yearn after something and not be able to have it (like I did for most of my younger life), but you have admit, that she does have some talent. Her drawings and photo collages are good. I am sure that she will find a job somewhere in fashion, whether it be in journalism or designing, or maybe both. Her blog is probably her interview for FIT. Blogging has made the whole fashion world much more democratic, where before, you only got an internship leading to a low paying assistant job if you went to an elite college, and college was a must. Your resume would go into the garbage if you didn’t go to college. Now, although I believe that college is a must, I don’t know if
    it is anymore in their world. (Anna didn’t go, although her daughter just graduated from Columbia.) All the print media are jumping on the “we need to put a fashion blogger/photographer on our staff” because it means sales. It’s like, all of a sudden, bloggers are “insiders”, where, when they started, they were a group of outsiders who wanted to voice their particular fashion opinions, whether it be street fashion or what I am wearing. I think that most of the people that criticize her are repelled by the rampant acquiring. But you guys have to admit that her and her Mom’s blogs are intriguing. Isn’t that why you read them?

  11. simone says:

    Intriguing like something that makes me feel better about myself in comparison, sure. Andrea raises a good question. Why do I read her blog (besides simply to express my devotion to SW)? Because when I am done reading, I feel like I am smart, fascinating, not self-absorbed and frugal to boot — practically a monk in a hair shirt. I think that what offends me is not the acquisition per se, it’s how excited she is about her mad skills at catalog shopping – there is, of course, no such thing. Sea, it is neither art nor a legitimate career to seek out the most expensive thing currently being marketed to your demographic and then purchase it. And then say that you “found” it like you were fucking digging in a mine or even god forbid looking through the racks at a genuine thrift shop. Unless it’s done with ironic intention, of course. In which case, having someone else stick duct tape on a T-shirt and then charge you hundreds for it makes at least one of you a performance artist.

  12. Lezzies says:

    SW, I believe the nudity is a cry to express her homosexuality. I mean, she’s dating a little queer boy, and she loves pics of naked chicks. Could we be more obvious?

  13. andrea says:

    i thought the same thing as Lezzies, when I looked at her other blog. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it”, to quote Jerry Seinfeld.

  14. HelOnWheels says:

    Dear Jane,
    Fire your assistant (WTF does an 18 year-old need an assistant!?!?!), cut the umbilical cord and start dating boys that will make your parents’ hair turn gray; this is what a “healthy” teenager should be doing.

  15. theresa says:

    dear sea,
    those triple lace boots are the reason i first started reading your horrible blog. Dont insult them. they are not made for that dress of baroque curtain tassels and rainbow lining.

    but i do appreciate what you did with posing in front of the door.

  16. Mark says:

    Dear Dear Jane…

  17. Faux Fuchsia says:

    Dear Andrea,
    I’m not on the “hate Jane Bandwagon” I’m a fan.
    My interest in her coexists happily with my interest in Wolf Sister.
    They live in harmony together on my blog roll as part of one happy cyber family.
    Meanwhile I think Jane would benefit from some structured higher education via a university degree.
    Or maybe her own reality tv show. x

  18. madgrad says:

    How have the horrific, animal- hide -patchwork -gone insane BCBG Mendel booties missed the scorn so far? Those atrocities are so hideous I want to vomit on them and then burn them in a pyre with those disgusting D&G “face” shoes. Jane, you waste so many thousands of dollars on ugly barnyard shit–why can’t you “find” or “source” or “cull” something pretty for a change? I mean, if you are going to shop (er, “collect”) your way to ignominy, at least have something classic to show for it–something worth its bloated price tag.
    And also: another pair of anne d’s? By my calculation, you and Mummy (as in, the dessicated monster) have somewhere around 10k in that particular exhibit in your Collection of Meaningless Materialism–aka Brand Worship.

  19. Eliza says:

    Iron Chic, I would rather have Jane focus on an institutional education than take the other advice given in these comments advocating the arbitrary life experience of teen romance.

  20. dust says:

    Whatever you do, NO MORE SHOES, SOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. MJ says:

    While I’m rightly appalled by the hedgehog and barnyard shoes of today, I’m quite fashion hampered (I am a lawyer, I wear black and navy pantsuits, and black trouser socks, hose, shoes and belts – yee ha). And disinterested.

    That said, I think that my fascination for Sea and Mom and their kind to me is the Jane Austen fascination – WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE GET THEIR MONEY?

    I know a lot of high net worth people – generally someone, somewhere in the family has a job or owns someting (like a bridge or company). Maybe Mom inherited, maybe Dad-of-Shoes (no, not Karl!) owns a bridge, or a company, but still. Dang. I work hard, I have 3 graduate degrees, and I live a completely designer-free life.

    Then again, I’m responsible, cheap and solvent (and not a member of the Lucky Sperm Club).

  22. Cricket9 says:

    “her and her Mom’s blogs are intriguing” – yes, intriguing because I’m asking the same question as MJ – where do they get the money? Anyone knows? Just curious. Actually, I don’t read SOS blog, unless Sister Wolf points out some new horror acquired by Jane or her mom; I checked mom’s blog once, and I find it much, much worse – not going there again.

  23. Cheraya says:

    I too am fascinated by where the money comes from.
    I have a couple of friends who are members of the ‘Lucky Sperm Club’, but as far as I know, they work and acquire assets, rather than curating ugly shoes.

    Oh well. I’m sure I’d find some ugly shit to curate too, if I had a cash cow in my house.

  24. Chelsea says:

    Dear Sea,

    I really want to know if you are still dating Mr. Fashion. I can’t help it. I’m curious. You don’t post about him anymore, and you used to all of the time. Was he monopolizing your curating time? Also, I am also intrigued – where DOES the money come from?


  25. Chelsea says:

    Also Sister – how did you come across Sea’s blog? My life would be lacking so much humor if you never found it.

  26. Alicia says:

    How is Carol doing? I worry about her sometimes. Really!

  27. AW says:

    Dear Jane –

    Mi Cocina is your favorite Tex-Mex in Dallas? Your developed, much-fanfared taste in fashion doesn’t run to food, apparently.

    Also – don’t inhale the pastels!

  28. MJ says:


    I have not, but now must, thank you for teaching me of Sea’s blog because today’s post is a killer. I am both edified and amused. I wish I lived in an area with better people watching….seriously (but that would require NOT living in my office).

    Also, the green nail polish? Kind of peaked at this point, Sandy Powell notwithstanding (didn’t Nars do a green a few years ago?).

  29. Girl World says:

    u can find great saddle shoes at the goodwill

  30. ThatGirl39 says:

    Hhmm… disappointed. And here was I thinking that the blogosphere was a good place. How naive of me.

  31. hammie says:

    Sea: they were the character Elaine’s shoes in an episode of a Sitcom from the mid to late 90’s called “Seinfeld”.
    Google that.

  32. Mischka says:

    Sea: Eat a damn sandwich and dye your hair back to blonde.

  33. Mischka says:

    Also, this is the woman behind Sea’s favorite jewelry. HAHA!

  34. Danielle says:

    I noticed that she disabled the comment function. When I used to read the blog the comments were up and running. I wonder what happened.

    I admit that she does have some nice possession and may even be a nice person but her unashamed display of her parents wealth just leaves me feeling kind of nauseous. She reminds me of a rich friend I once had in primary school who would give me a tour of her closet each Christmas to rub her new designer clothes in my face.

    I guess what I’m trying to say here is, well I’m tired of rich kids getting everything they want all the time just because.

  35. Danielle says:

    Are they oil barons or something?

    Ok I’ll give it a rest now!

  36. ell says:

    hey sea, you totally look like quinn morgendorffer.

  37. Miss Jackie – right on, sister! Cash in the shoes for some chocolate! I sent Jane an email asking if I could put a picture of hers on my blog for an article I was doing about designers, I was suitably gushing (I know, sad) and got a five-word-reply from her MUM!
    The sister is the only sane one.
    Andrea, but now there are so many blogs so having a successful fashion blog as about as valuable as a top degree. Though, of course, Sea does have the approvable of Wintour and an unhealthy commercial appetite.

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