Curated Jeans

These jeans by Cosmic Wonder are made of “used unprocessed” selvedge denim, with embroidered patchwork detail at the hem. (Notice how nicely the hem hangs in the photo below.)

Complete this sentence:

These jeans are worth $805 because ______________.

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32 Responses to Curated Jeans

  1. littlebadwolf says:

    someone born in the warehouse at the salvation army is having a pipe-dream or is seriously intoxicated with oldschmatta smell.

  2. Harmreduction says:

    I need more money for my crack habit.

  3. Harmreduction says:

    Every style maven needs to go slumming a few times in her life; and these jeans ensure that no common people ask her for money.

  4. Harmreduction says:

    I hate the term “style maven”, BTW.

  5. EH says:

    …they are gold plated on the inside.
    Actually, even gold plating wouldn’t justify that price tag. The makers of these jeans are seriously delusional if they think they are designers or have any talent. I’ve never seen anything so repulsive. I’d be surprised if someone paid $20 for them at an op-shop.

  6. library lady says:

    If these photos were of a friend trying them on in the op shop (thrift store) and they cost $4.00, i’d have said ‘nah, put them back’.

  7. Bevitron says:

    …spending spending precisely 805 dollars for crap jeans that someone could find at a yard sale for a dollar fifty will make that 805 dollar jeans buyer feel like they belong to the upper echelon of exalteds who know at their core that the insane price makes it fashion, not crap, and they’ll be primed and greased to buy the next even higher priced piece of fashion, like maybe 5-yard long scarves made of used, unwashed, recycled, ripped-up & knotted together cotton underpants.

  8. Kristin says:

    I know all about jeans because I saw the episode on “20 Mule-team Borax” where they showed how Levi Strauss had invented them by making pants out of heavy blue fabric “de Nimes” (in France) and putting metal grommets at the points where the pockets are attached, thereby designing a pant that would stand up in the gold fields. Every little kid in America knew this story in the 50’s, AND WE RESPECTED JEANS! Now comes along these jeans poseurs who are totally out of touch with jeans roots and try to fake authenticity. They deserve to lose their $805!!! In fact the price should be raised to $1,805!!!

  9. Kristin says:

    Oh, “20 Mule-team Borax” was the sponsor, the show was “Death Valley Days.” And note that they note that the featured jeans are made from “selvedge” denim. The word selvedge just means the edge of the fabric. I think they are using the word to mislead the reader into thinking of the word salvage.

  10. Dani says:

    …because people dumb enough to buy them deserve to be ripped off.

    Someone once said that lotteries are like taxes on stupid people. Some would say the same about these jeans.

  11. Bevitron says:

    What Kristin said about the “selvedge” denim – I wondered about that, too. What the hell is selvedge denim? I made three-fourths of my clothes on a tank-like Singer when I was in high school so I remember a little about fabrics and I’ve always read it spelled “selvage”. The edge of the fabric has a narrow ribbon-like weave to keep it from unravelling. The only thing I can figure is that maybe instead of flat-felled seams – that’s the really strong raw-edge- turned-under seam that almost all jeans have – the denim is cut so that the selvages take their place. Doesn’t matter – still crap.

  12. Sister Wolf says:

    Kristin and Bevitron – Oh, fuck selvedge AND salvage! It’s just a way to pander to Jeans-snobs. All you need to care about is how they fit and how your butt looks.

  13. Rosie says:

    These jeans are worth $805 because…someone is trying to find a more profitable way to produce overpriced crap without even outsourcing to China.

  14. JK says:

    because… (since I’ve still got the one butt pic you posted sometime ago) comparing I’d remark, “if that’s the same butt, Congrats Sister Wolf, you’ve lost weight!”

  15. Bonnie says:

    Because doing patchwork by hand is such an intricate and time consuming process. It takes considerable skill to get all the little pieces to come together in a pleasing pattern and to get all the seams to lie flat. Oh wait…..

  16. Crap, even old levi’s with the big “E” and the selvage seams (thats where it came from, the seams weren’t serged or french seams) aren’t likely to fetch more than around $150- $200, and these $805 look really bad on a model. On a model, not a normal person. Can you imagine how hideous they would make the average woman’s bum look? Ew.

  17. Stephanie says:

    I’m still rockin’ Levi’s 501 button fronts,
    thank you very much!

  18. Bex says:

    I read that as “cut-rate.” Haha.

  19. plumpwidget says:

    they suck….

  20. Lucy says:

    These jeans are worth $805 because we are using Monopoly money.

  21. Duncan Sweet says:

    Anyway, I came to tell you that Mitt “pansy” Romney is still and always will be an unabashed CUNT of Mormon proportions.!

  22. Miss Fox says:

    These jeans are worth $805 because I’m studying for a degree, and am broke as fuck. I’m trying to rip off as many rich kids as possible to cover my equally extortionate tuition.

  23. BethUK says:

    Because it would take us all years and years to get our own jeans into a similar condition.

  24. Marky says:

    I’ve recently sold a bunch of my “important” Levi’s. Good riddance. I can’t part with my Junya Watanabe/Levi’s collaborations, though. I’m a moron, and now that I’m broke, I look at those jeans and see mortgage payments.

  25. Cricket9 says:

    I wanted to say something snarky/witty/sharp. But the hideousness of the pictures just took my speech away. That’s it, I’m speechless.

  26. Dee says:

    “All you need to care about is how they fit and how your butt looks.” You’ve said it all Sister…and in this photo they don’t fit at all and her butt looks like shit. At $800…this is a total FASHION FAIL, imho. Some people were just born to be ripped off. And I’m not one of them…lol. xoxo Dee

  27. Dee says:

    Further, on ridiculous amounts of money paid for fashion…have you seen the $250,000 manicure of ground up black diamonds sported by Kelly Osbourne? Absolutely Fabulous? No, Absolutely Obscene…lol xoxo Dee

  28. RedHead says:

    Sister, I had to swing by to offer you this absolute gem of a fashion crime – enjoy!

  29. Sister Wolf says:

    RedHead – Oh god, what a cunt!

  30. Cricket9 says:

    I looked – and almost peed my pants laughing. Be forewarned!
    Now I can’t get this image out of my mind: KL marching to the beach, with his newest fashion invention under the arm, while fanning himself furiously with the ivory fan.
    Actually, to call KL a cunt seems derogatory to cunts.

  31. Hammie says:

    Because someone has to pay for the container of Mom jeans that get shipped into every Australian Op Shop just before I walk in.

  32. Molly says:

    What is up with THESE pants!!??

    The ugliest ass i’ve ever seen . . . and a cool $420

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