Feminist Bullies

One thing I’ve learned since joining Twitter is that feminism isn’t dead. It’s alive and really irritable.

A post at frockwriter about American Apparel seemed perfectly reasonable to me, but caused quite a commotion among super-sensitive feminist tweeters. Frockwriter author Patty Huntington decried American Apparel‘s use of mannequins posed bent over, or spreadeagled in slutty positions.   But the word “slutty” caused offense.

I watched Ms. Huntington patiently reply to the outraged tweets. Someone demanded that she retract the word slutty, arguing that it’s part of a larger offensive social dynamic called “slut-shaming.”

The angry word-prohibitionist got her friends involved. I discovered that many of the angered women were self-described fat women, and presumably they are more sensitized to name-calling.

But the preachy comments triggered by Huntington’s post were so annoying that I jumped in and called one of the prohibitionists “an ignorant slut.” GET IT?!? I thought it was funny, and figured everyone knew the reference to be a catchphrase from Saturday Night Live.

Well, all the irritable feminists went nuts. They got together to slam Huntington, over at a boring blog by Dr. Samantha Thomas, who refused to publish my very calm comment in defense of Patty Huntington. Read the comments though if you enjoy womyn congratulating each other for being mad.

Today, feminist’s launched a twitter attack on Michael Moore after a comment he made about rape victims was repeated out of context. Michael Moore is a tireless liberal activist who deserves better. I will let him speak for himself.

Finally, a miniwar broke out over a pillow needlepointed with the words of Kate Moss: Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Feminist tweeters flipped out. Those pillows were “pro-ana!”

Here’s what I think.   The December issue of Bazaar has an article about a woman getting a facial for her vulva. She goes into great detail but I couldn’t take it. It’s so stupid and depressing. It’s bullshit. It’s anti-pussy and it’s anti-woman.   It’s a million times worse than the word slut or a fucking pillow.

Thoughts?

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65 Responses to Feminist Bullies

  1. Heidi aka Fuzzy says:

    Ugh, a vaginal facial sounds unbearable to even contemplate. Much much much more offensive!

  2. Tanya says:

    “Pro-ana”…Is that a Jezabel thing? Everyone seems to be so overly sensitive these days. I think that “pro-freesp” is a much more important value than minding an overweight womyn’s feelings with respect to certain slurs or ‘vulgarities.’

  3. ellio100 says:

    oh dear, people are so keen on being offended… in fact, not just offended but outraged! Like they live for the next righteous buzz of calling someone out for their language.
    It feels too tiring for someone lazy, like me, but recently in th UK there was a right fuss in the UK about something Stephen Fry (once described as “a stupid person’s idea of a clever person”) said about women’s attitudes to sex. A lot of people seemed to really care and get all pissy and outraged but it really seems like there is a lot of stuff that’s more important.

  4. Actually what Stephen Fry said was really offensive and misogynist but he thought he was being incisive and witty probably. I admit I just thought he was a stupid fat slut and didn’t hyperventilate merely unfollowed him on twitter.

    This anger is ridiculous. It is anger over detail. Detail based on words. There is a big difference between using words to convey an issue – too right the American Apparal mannequins are slutty. Rhianna was incredible slutty on X Factor last Saturday, her moves were all about demonstrating how to do a facial on her vagina and she stripped down to some ‘underwear’ item.

    Slut is a very old word and been in the dictionary for centuries. Why until the Oxford Abridged got trendy and included slang – alongside penis and vagina, fart and slut were probably the best high you could get for ‘rude’ words as a kid.

    Issues impacting on women’s health, wages and equality in work and government are still as important today as they have always been.

    But please if I ever get fat or act like a slut do me a favour and say it as it is. If this gives a few permission to be rude to me then so but it. Except for angry feminists they can lose the anger and look at themselves before they throw stones.

  5. Mary says:

    OMG I know Dr Samantha Thomas! Jesus wept! I work in the same University faculty as her. Nuff said. I am bored now.

  6. David Duff says:

    For obvious reasons, my cowardice/shyness/good nature (delete as necessary), I hesitate to edit your text, Sis, but:

    “Michael Moore is a tireless liberal activist”

    should surely read:

    ‘Michael Moore is a tiresome liberal activist.’

    The words ‘fat’, ‘stupid’, ‘deceitful’, etc., may be added as required.

  7. Mrs_Bopp says:

    So tired of farsical over-sensitivity to words & what so often seems to be staged righteous indignation by folk who should really be using their intellect & ability for more productive purposes.

  8. I agree with ellio…people just like to be offended to make it look like they have opinions.
    What’s wrong with the word ‘slut’? It’s been around for years, and it isn’t meant to have positive connotations! I’d happily defend any woman’s right to go out and, in the words of Peaches, ‘f*ck the pain away’ if that’s what works for her, but it’s generally not a promoted way to behave. But it’s American Apparel, land of the skin tight everythings.
    I just find the word ‘slut’ very amusing after seeing Mena Suvari use it to false yet hilarious effect in American Beauty.

  9. Liz says:

    Outrage is easy. Productive results are hard. Outrage over detail derails willingness address real feminst issues.
    Off to remind my daughters that they are more than the sum of their parts….and I’ll slap them upside their heads if they ever get a vulva facelift unless, God forbid, its reconstructive- and then don’t talk about it! No one but a very select few care!

  10. Cybill says:

    Somedays it just feels like everyone is insane (everyone except us that is).

  11. annemarie says:

    nothing worse than an indignant fattie

  12. Aja says:

    Vagina facials (shakes head). What is this world coming to. I’m going to skim that issue today at Barnes and Noble.

  13. :-) says:

    Sisterwolf I am in absolute agreement with you on this.

  14. Constance says:

    I personally think slutty looking people (Beyonce, Rihanna, Fergie etc, etc) offend my feminist sensibilities. Is this a paradox? I simply do not Know anymore, is all too confusing.

  15. Constance says:

    One last note, I really do think Stephen Fry’s comments were misogynistic.

  16. liz says:

    oh jesus, vagina facials???? no words.

    Slut-shaming is not the same as using the word slut. Should we just remove half of the English language for fear that it will offend someone? These women should learn russian, because the amount of offensive shit is astronomical.

  17. Ann says:

    People need to get the hell over themselves. Every comment is not about you, you know? Don’t believe everything that you think.

    Slut shaming and vulva facials. Some things I just don’t need to know more about.

  18. E says:

    Longer ladders (for getting over it – whatever your it is) for all!

    Slutty-looking, fat, old – they are descriptive words – not fatal character flaws or judgement calls surely? And the price you pay for free speech is having to listen to everyone and not just what you want to hear? Of course there is nothing wrong with challenging someone on what they said – but sometimes it feels like a world-wide, self-righteous, indignity-fest. And gawd knows there are enough injustices in this world to get riled about, that go way beyond whether someone is slutty-looking and political-correctness.

  19. tartandtreacly says:

    “Yea, though I walk through the valley of accursed political correctness, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me; thy lipstick and thy hatred of quarrelsome fishwives over 9 stones, they comfort me.”

    Seriously, who cares. Semantics-parsing feminists are not my cup of tea, but I’m not exactly going “people should have the right to call other people fat sluts, dammit!”

  20. No Little Plans says:

    While I’m against slut-shaming, backlash to that word can get blown out of proportion fast. When I was in high school, I spent one year at this super activist-y alternative school. I was trying to tell a story in class about girls from my old elementary school who dressed too provocatively and mature for their age – in my words, “like sluts”. I had no idea this could even be a problem, but was immediately told by a classmate that she took offense to the word “slut” (I was thinking, are you a slut and don’t want to be associated with spoiled-ass 9-year-olds?) More people chimed in agreeing with her, overtaking what I was trying to say. You know what’s anti-woman? Completely derailing someone’s emotional story about their shitty childhood.

  21. WendyB says:

    Why does Kate Moss keep getting credit for that saying? It was an unofficial Weight Watchers motto decades ago. I remember it from when my mother was in WW.

    The slut thing reminds me of the time some troll left a comment on my blog telling me I was a “wrinkly slut.” My reaction was “I’m not wrinkly!” I didn’t give a crap about the slut thing but it did give me a chance to use an “ignorant slut” reference. Anyone who doesn’t recognize that should be ashamed of their pop culture ignorance! http://wendybrandes.com/blog/2009/05/do-you-want-it-wrinkly-or-ignorant/

  22. Em says:

    I don’t like the word “slut” most of the time, but it depends on the context. I cringe when I hear someone call a woman a slut, but just recently I said to my boyfriend that I need some sluttier clothes. I can kind of understand why people would be offended by Huntington’s use of “slutty” there, but angry tweets seems like just about the worst way to discuss a little thing like that, but probably the best way to confirm stereotypes about feminists.

    Also, I really like the term “anti-pussy”, and I’m going to start using it whenever it’s appropriate, and occasionally when it’s not.

  23. evoldog says:

    SLUT!!! 😎

  24. claudia says:

    i think one of the problems with “slut” is that there is no male equivalent. it’s not like “there are no sluts,” it’s like, women get punished for the same promiscuous behaviour that men are lauded for. (i’m just devil’s-advocating here in case someone is genuinely baffled as to the stickiness of the issue.)

    I agree that there are more pressing issues at stake but i also believe in trying to incorporate small rebellions against the little issues. i intend to call some men sluts ASAP!

  25. E says:

    Male equiv to slut?
    Useless shagging bastard.

  26. evoldog says:

    The problem with calling men sluts is that we’re PROUD of it, and consider it a compliment!

  27. ellio100 says:

    Just to clarify – I’m not defending what Stephen Fry said. I just raised it because of the scale of reaction it got. I guess it was a crap example though, beause he brought on the fury himself by being stupid. I guess all I really wanted to say was something about how people seem to enjoy indulging in finding stuff offensive/outrageous.

  28. Dru says:

    tartandtreacly- that, in the quotes, was brilliant.

    I really don’t know, Sister. On one hand I don’t like to judge people for what they do in their private lives, if it doesn’t harm me- on the other, I’m tired of the Jezebel nonsense lingo that seems to have spread all over the internet in the last couple of years (see: various insults suffixed with “-shaming”- slut-shaming, fat-shaming etc, though Jezebel loves to yak about women losing weight and pretend concern over women who by their standards are too skinny) and the shrieking multitudes who are so in love with being offended. “Free speech” does not exclusively mean “speech I like and agree with”.

    And if WendyB is “wrinkly”, I’m a dried-up raisin.

  29. Dru says:

    And please, ‘slut’ is not always an insult (inslut?). I remember an early post on my blog where I talked about the ‘slut factor’ of 90s Versace clothes. It’ll take more than a pack of the offended to get me to take it down.

  30. Carrie says:

    Having grown up with hippie parents and a mom who is a pretty bold/awesome feminist I’ve considered myself a ‘feminist’ for as long as I knew the word (and that goes at least to kindergarten – I shit you not). What’s interesting, is that to me being a feminist has meant a lot of different things over the years, depending on what was most important to me at the time: appearance and body issues during the tween years, sexuality during high school/college, seeking positive connections with female co-workers in my twenties…and now in my thirties I seem to be swinging back toward beauty/body issues because I’m being told I should buy anti-aging products or my marriage won’t survive for long.

    My point is that feminism, the way I learned it (from a lifelong feminist), is really really simple. It is about focusing on empowerment for yourself and other women. It is about building up, not tearing down, about feeling free to openly express yourself (using WHATEVER FUCKING WORDS YOU WANT, thank you), and accepting that YOU are in control of your life rather than passively submitting to the whims of the world around you. It is about understanding that everything in life is a choice, and that you are in charge of making mindful decisions that will
    effect your life (and others’) in a positive way. (Note: It is simply not about harping on about semantics and attacking genuinely innocuous sources…)

    I’m failing to see how the argument Sister Wolf is describing here relates in any way to these concepts.

    And what is ‘slut-shaming’? I just think there are so many more important topics to expend what sounds like rather abundant energy on. Am I missing something? Is there some new kind of feminism I am unaware of? (sarcastic…but also mildly alarmed here)

  31. Carrie says:

    I read the post again. Are they saying they are sluts and they are offended for that reason?

    I am sincerely confused. What is worth getting so upset about?! I do not understand where these women are coming from at all…

  32. Alicia says:

    Can I use the word “vagacial” now? I think that would be appropriate. VAGACIAL.

  33. Liz!! says:

    “i think one of the problems with “slut” is that there is no male equivalent. it’s not like “there are no sluts,” it’s like, women get punished for the same promiscuous behaviour that men are lauded for.”

    My feminist BFF said that to me…she wasn’t happy with my response, because I said that I called guys like that “playas.” In my lexicon, playa is NOT a compliment whatsoever. If I’m talking to a friend who has a crush on a guy I know, and I say, “Well, he’s a playa…” she will usually say something like “So I gotta stay the hell away from him?”

    Anyway, my feminist BFF (dammit, people say ‘my gay!’) said that it’s not the same, because many people use that word with a positive connotation. I was like “Uhh…did you ever hang out with girls that say ‘what up, slut!’?”

    Don’t get me wrong, I think that there is a double standard…I just think that we can be creative enough to come up with a similar word…or maybe we’re using one already. (shrug)

    Sister Wolf, I used to read feminist websites alll of the time. I’m interested in women’s issues, but I realized that I could never classify myself as a third-wave feminist. Those comments on Huntington’s page reminded me why…UGH…what’s worse is that they had to take it to Twitter? Leave it alone, ladies!

    Nothing makes me angrier than a feminist telling someone to stop calling herself a feminist! I want to say “Yeah bitch, I am a feminist, and you cannot tell another woman to get out of the club!”

    And American Apparel. If I could piss on all of their clothes, I totally would.

  34. undeadsinatra says:

    Flare ups like this always remind me of this quote:

    “Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.”
    Wallace S. Sayre, Quoted in Wall Street Journal, 20 Dec. 1973.

  35. Hippiebikermom says:

    As a live-long feminist, I really don’t get the drama created by those who opposed to the use of “slutty” in this context. The only reference to the word in the post was this sentence: ” We were curious if perhaps the artful arrangement of slutty store mannequins might be part of the company’s visual merchandising handbook.”

    Hard to understand the goal of the opponents: are they really striving to preserve the mannequins’ right to engage in sexual acts of their choice? Is this their idea of some kind of pinnacle of 2010 feminist critique? With the wealth of offerings out there for feminists, this particular slut attack seems really misplaced.

  36. evoldog says:

    I’m confused…If mannequins can’t be sluts, does this also mean that Sarah Palin has to stop being a Republicunt? 8-D

  37. dust says:

    since when vulva has a face to be lifted?

  38. Hammie says:

    I still love Stephen Fry. Is a vagina facial where you get a massage, exfoliation and then a deep cleanse? ’cause that just sounds like foreplay to me. Maybe that makes me a slut?
    xx

  39. Cricket9 says:

    I was called “slut” as a joke-but-not-quite for being married twice. I was also very seriously told shortly after arriving to Toronto from Poland, where nobody heard about PC in 88, that I should not say “she’s a beautiful woman”. The word “beautiful” was offensive, objectifying and a synonym for Satan. Word “attractive” was, apparently, OK. I was shell-shocked.
    Liz is so right: Outrage is easy. Productive results are hard.

  40. firefly says:

    The problem is with society’s connotation of “slut”.

  41. damaia says:

    Y’know, I can only think of two people I’ve called sluts in my life. I was joking/scolding both times, and on both occasions the target was a straight male. If “slut” isn’t equal opportunity yet, I think it should get there.

  42. lucinda says:

    Well said. I think all this ‘slut’ controversy would calm down if we could find a more empowering word for so called ‘slutty’ behaviour. It was clear to me that Patty was trying to take a (traditional?) feminist angle by calling out AA for engaging in gender sexual stereotyping… again. The feminist movement would be so much stronger if we could just support each other.

  43. Nikki says:

    Personal history & individual definition of words comes into play with any subject. Specific words are hot zones for each of us. I love humor, ascerbic, ribald, sometimes course (Sam Kinison, Denis Leary, Joan Rivers, Chris Rock, Don Rickles, Kathy Griffin, Ricky Gervais, Eddie Izzard (several more mild yet still bold for their time), for example). I suppose our definitions of gross, mean & vulgar humor vary wildly, as well (Andrew Dice Clay & Margaret Cho are to me because I rarely find either funny).

    Personally, I don’t like being called names. It hurts. Words are just words? Again, depends on personal history. Called names by a parent? Called names by a partner? Sibling? Boss? Friend? I don’t like the unnecessary demeaning labels & words I’ve been called in my lifetime. I’m careful not to offend. The irony is I often do.

    I have gotten into trouble by not speaking up for myself. I have gotten into trouble for speaking up for others. However, I’ve mostly gotten into trouble by speaking in a way more harshly than was needed or using words I knew would be construed as vulgar. It didn’t include name calling but since I really do believe my boss should have f’d his mother up the arse… I had had enough, so I said it, happily, with a freeing feeling for the first time in months/years. Act II, escort from bldg, fired, another resume gap. Yes, it’s happened more than once. I knew it in advance… I just didn’t want to censor myself any longer.

    I’m sometimes vulgar when I no longer care about the person I’m speaking to… I always know in advance I mean offense. I don’t try to candy floss it with the ‘I had no idea’ or ‘But, but, but, that’s not what I meant’ excuses. I believe more in the Chris Rock upfront sentiment in stating, “That’s right! I said it!” At least I feel I’m being honest.

    I have also felt at times my words or humor were taken out of context or misunderstood. Upon circumspection, maybe it was a subconscious primal scream, even if just in small part. I may not apologize, but I’ll still take my flogging for my chosen words.

    Lastly, maybe it’s just personal choice. I’d never call anyone that horrible s word. I would, however, tell someone to go f their mother up the arse…

  44. I think we do need to worry about the ‘anti-pussyflaps’ wave sweeping the world. Girls getting vaginaplasty because they think their perfectly normal vagina hangs out a bit and doesn’t look like the ones in pr0n. That’s way more scary than the use of the word slut.

    I love my puss flaps. I love my flat chest. So should everyone else!

    Oh and SW, love the SNL reference. Hi-larious.

  45. Nikki – poor delivery and timing and maybe not funny, I’m just hazarding a guess? If you told one of my sons to what you did I call you worse than a slut. If you don’t like being called names (perfectly valid) then really you must also not call others names – code of conduct and all that.

    Anyway back to the real issue of feminism and vaginas I think Claire Danish has a point – far more important than pulling someone up for using the term ‘slutty mannequins’

    Hammie – I still love Stephen Fry but he was a right cock!! (sorry that is a very British expression)

  46. Sister Wolf says:

    annemarie – AMEN (does everyone know that annemarie is my daughter? She’s adopted but I love her just as much etc etc)

    undeadsinatra – What a wonderful quote! Thank you!

    evoldog – Mrs. Palin is a stupid, crazy cunt and nothing can alter that fact.

    Carrie – Believe me, I’m as mystified as you are. In fact, I often call my best friend a whore (or sometimes “Whore of Babylon) and the word slut has no power over me whatsoever.

    Nikki – Are you being serious or are you joking? I don’t see why “slut” is verboten, especially given your high tolerance for expletives.

    Make Do – I need to go find out what Stephen Fry said. I’m guessing it won’t make me mad, though

  47. Brie says:

    Maybe it is a bit of some women not truly knowing what “sexism” is?

    I can understand why you called the photos “slutty” because they are posing in ways that are directly aimmed at giving guys hard-ons or at least arousing them. The poses are very lewd and there is a way to do “provocative” without hitting “slutty” in style when it comes to photography. AA always crosses the line and just objectifies the women in the photo.

    I am not sure how using the word to describe the poses is “slut shaming” since you are definitely not calling the models “sluts”, implying they the models have loose morals, and you are not saying anyone who likes to dress sexy is “slutty”. You are not connecting it to sex at all. You are using the word to describe the feeling of the photos and the sleazy way the clothing is being sold in the photos.

    I find the photos very degrading to women because they have that feeling of being, well, “slutty” and objectifying the women. For me, the feeling I get off AA photos is one of being forced into the world of sleazy, creepy, photographers who pressure women into posing in ways that make the women uncomfortable by tellling the woman that “no one will see the photo” or the woman will become famous by doing so. In this case, it would not be the woman being “slutty” herself but how the photographer sees them and deplicts them in the photo. Even without her consent. The poses are a guy’s version of what he thinks “easy woman” look like which can be called “slutty”.

    If the women making a bit deal out of the use of the word took time out to think about it, they should be mad at the way the women are protrayed and not at the use of a word to describe the feeling of the photo.

  48. Mathilde says:

    Thanks Liz!! This is the single best thing to come out of this;

    “And American Apparel. If I could piss on all of their clothes, I totally would.”

  49. Drollgirl says:

    A vulva facial?! Give me a fucking break!!!!!

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