Not too long ago, I applied for a job at the Refinery 29 blog. They offered me an interview but the job turned out to be in New York. Reading the following post, I realize that I couldn’t write such awful prose even with a gun to my head. It is simply beyond my capability. Ready, set, go:
We’re no newbies to fake tattoos, though it’s safe to say that the glittery unicorns and branded stick-ons from the local bank we used to apply don’t really garner us the same cred as the ones shown on this season’s runway. Delicate bracelets and chains were drawn onto the models at SChanel, and Gaultier paired his spring line with lettered prison tats. Rodarte went for the full monty and Sharpie’d the models’ arms and necks in full Maori effect. Less permanent than really getting pricked, but still pretty badass, we have a feeling that a little hand-drawn ink will start making its way off the runway and onto your arms, chests, and legs.
Maybe my ears are too sensitive, but this just seems aggressively bad in every way: it’s pretentious, hokey, cutesy and irritating. Is it standard fashion writing, or is it setting a new standard?
Who wants to count the language crimes? I’ll start with the first sentence. “Garner”, “newbies” and “cred” are all unforgivable. For extra credit, try making it even worse, if that’s possible!