Today, I had a moment of clarity. I understood why Grandpa and that Church Lady must not be allowed to win this election. He’s too old, and she’s too stupid.
Alas, there are a number of people who haven’t grasped this. And now that Grandpa told some senile old racist that No ma’am, Obama isn’t an Arab, his handlers seem to think he should get a medal for good conduct. To quote a rant I just read,
“Garnering credit for coming to the defense of Senator Obama is like an arsonist claiming heroism for saving lives after having set fire to the building in the first place.”
On a happier note, the super-hunky Levi Johnston has come forward to talk about his babymama, Bristol “What does Birth Control mean?” Palin. Levi says that he always planned to marry the young fertility goddess, although now he’s had to drop out of high school to get a job on an oilfield. Levi describes his current situation philosophically. “It’s pretty chill.”
Levi, I love you so much. You are what we Jews would call a mensch, even though you’ve probably never met an actual Jew. I love the way you stepped up for Bristol. I love that you’ve given up your dream of playing hockey, just like Track did. I love how you tattooed Bristol’s name on your finger. I bet that’s your trigger finger. I’ve seen you holding your big rifle, ahem. And I love that even though you refused to divulge the baby’s gender, you did reveal your plan to “take him hunting and fishing.”
When asked how he felt about joining the Palins at the RNC, Levi said “At first, I was nervous. Then I was like, whatever.”
God, I know just what he means! Who among us is not, like, whatever?