It’s the Stupidity, Stupid!

Today, I had a moment of clarity. I understood why Grandpa and that Church Lady must not be allowed to win this election. He’s too old, and she’s too stupid.

Alas, there are a number of people who haven’t grasped this. And now that Grandpa told some senile old racist that No ma’am, Obama isn’t an Arab, his handlers seem to think he should get a medal for good conduct. To quote a rant I just read,

Garnering credit for coming to the defense of Senator Obama is like an arsonist claiming heroism for saving lives after having set fire to the building in the first place.”

On a happier note, the super-hunky Levi Johnston has come forward to talk about his babymama, Bristol “What does Birth Control mean?” Palin. Levi says that he always planned to marry the young fertility goddess, although now he’s had to drop out of high school to get a job on an oilfield. Levi describes his current situation philosophically. “It’s pretty chill.”

Levi, I love you so much. You are what we Jews would call a mensch, even though you’ve probably never met an actual Jew. I love the way you stepped up for Bristol. I love that you’ve given up your dream of playing hockey, just like Track did. I love how you tattooed Bristol’s name on your finger. I bet that’s your trigger finger. I’ve seen you holding your big rifle, ahem. And I love that even though you refused to divulge the baby’s gender, you did reveal your plan to “take him hunting and fishing.”

When asked how he felt about joining the Palins at the RNC, Levi said “At first, I was nervous. Then I was like, whatever.”

God, I know just what he means! Who among us is not, like, whatever?

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26 Responses to It’s the Stupidity, Stupid!

  1. Juri says:

    I quess I felt a bit like Levi Johnston when I watched the RNC, only with a different order of emotions. At first, I was whatever. Then I was like, nervous.

    But what a fine young man he indeed is. He and Bristol would make an outstanding poster couple to any abstinence only campaign. Their wonderful example should inspire millions of young Americans (and foreigners) to wear chastity rings and purity badges instead of condoms and drop out of High School at 17, and even sooner.

    Grandpa has promised to whip Obama’s “you know what” in tomorrow’s debate. I think we’ll have some great comedy moments ahead of us if he really tries that. Grandpa and his stumpy hands will look so cute when he tries appear tough and wanders aimlessly around the stage. Let’s hope he won’t get too excited about whipping it and stumble, or get a stroke on stage.

  2. Sarah P says:

    Levi’s hotness is the only thing about the republican campaign that doesnt make me vomit and try to slit my throat!

  3. Honeypants says:

    To me, Levi looks like a teenager in a movie from the 50’s. The kind of teenager who’s played by someone in his 30’s. And you know, I still can’t help but imagine the outrage if it was Obama’s daughter who was knocked up, and her boyfriend dropped out of high school. I seriously can’t believe they are getting away with this!

  4. Danielle says:

    I’m totally like whatever!

  5. Bex says:

    Hahahah this whole family is the epitome of stupid. Grandpa and the Church Lady should be allowed to continue with their comedy routine, the Obama camp should just sit back and watch them shoot themselves in the foot.

  6. Juri says:

    I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. This Hank Williams Jr. song just gave me the comic relief I needed. If I didn’t know better I’d say this has got to be a joke!!! This is even funnier than all those Ron Paul songs out there.

    Do they seriously have THIS PIECE OF SHIT HILLBILLY SONGas their rally anthem. “McCain/Palin tradition” just puts me right into the mood for burning a cross or two in our frontyard and, doing a little meth and moonshine before I ask my sister to come and make some babies. Now where did I put that doggone shotgun and my dentures? Yee-haw. Sit down, boy!

    Also, did anyone see the Rachel Maddow clip where she calls Palin a liar who lives in her own alternative universe? I think I just fell a little in love with Ms Maddow.

  7. i love that he won’t be voting in his “future mother-in-law’s” election.

  8. Juri says:

    He won’t be woting there because he was, like, too whatever to register in time.

    Just like he was, like, too whatever to pull out in time with Bristol.

  9. Bex says:

    Aw man, that song is indeed, hilarious. Just the kind of tasteless shit that pretty much sums up the McPalin campaign. I’m horrified and entertained at the same time.

  10. enc says:

    Hang on, you’re telling me people didn’t know about Slow and Stupid being slow and stupid?

  11. Honeypants says:

    Hey, there’s a new candidate for president who I think we should all get behind!!!!!

  12. hammie says:

    You know, like, you could probably like, just take the piss out of him to his face, like and he would be like, whatever. dude.

  13. Honeypants says:

    What we have to “look forward” to. Urgh. Click all over once you’re on the page…

  14. Juri says:

    2 minutes into the debate and grandpa rode on Nancy Reagan’s illnsess..I’ll go throw up right now. Then I’ll go and get me a bottle of vodka from 7/11 and pass out before “Joe the blumber” gets butt-fucked too many times

  15. Honeypants says:

    I want a Bresh of Freath air!!!

    Um, was he drinking? Or was he paying homage to Palin with a slip of the tongue in solidarity???

  16. Honeypants says:

    McCain stumbles over his words every 3 sentences! AAAAAARRRGGHHH!!!

  17. first Nancy, now Joe! What the F&%k is going on!!! who is joe, and why is he drinking all the beer? And plumbers??? please, since when do plumbers have a hard time paying for anything, let alone taxes?

  18. oh, and what the hell did they do to his face today? an emergency face-lift?

  19. Juri says:

    I hope Joe the plumber calls in and tells Grandpa to start paying royalties for using his name. Or plumbers across America. Or the Brotherhood of American Joes.

    As for the POW milk-up, Grandpa has “scars to prove it” !!!! I’ve already forgotten what it was he was trying to prove but the it sure as heck did nott have anything to do with Vietnam.

  20. Honeypants says:

    McCain keeps blinking triple-speed and smiling like he’s just let out a secret fart that he knows Obama’s about to smell. I can’t stand it!!!

  21. Juri says:

    And now the last question!!! When will Grandpa whip Obama’s “you know what” if the show ends now? Is this crap the reason I stayed up until 4.30 am, Gramps? Go to a nursing home already.

    Or at least show me the fucking scars!

  22. Juri says:

    Clothes off, Grandpa! Show as the Spartacus!!

  23. Honeypants says:

    LMAO Juri! You make this whole painful process almost bearable!

  24. Sister Wolf says:

    Thank god you’re all flipping out, I couldn’t handle it alone.

    Juri, make it stop!!!!

  25. Imelda Matt says:

    I wonder if it’s the same finger he uses to scratch his ass!

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