Sometimes we must seek relief wherever we can find it and tonight I offer denim.
These ugly shorts are the worst possible way to spend $325 but go ahead, see if I care. Look at the rear view:
Why not just kill yourself?
What about these pin-button embellished jeans by Each X Other, A bargain at $406.91.
The sheer stupidity and inconvenience! At least the pins are only on the front, so you can sit down. But you know what, if you buy these jeans, you don’t deserve to sit down. You must stay on your feet like Jane Fonda did in “They Shoot Horses Don’t They” until you collapse in despair.
Let’s say you have a wry sense of humor and you think it’s funny to wear jeans with a drawing of jeans on them.
WHAT COULD BE FUNNIER, MOTHERFUCKER?
Oops, sorry, it’s been a bad week and I’m overreacting. Or am I? These jeans have been reduced from $1,075 to $645. So you can be all Dada and everything while still feeling thrifty. Just don’t come near me wearing them.
Finally, there are these cropped distressed jeans by Kimhekim:
An avant garde design for just $280, allowing you to pretend these holes are windows to your soul. In some cultures, this purchase would call for a good knee-capping. I’m just saying.
“In Denim Is Truth” as they say in Latin.
The 91 cents on the pin jeans put them over my budget….just think how versatile the buttons are! Move them around, clusters, rows. Fabulous! I would actually like all four looks in one pair…beyond…
For the amount of denim shit that is out there, I’m so glad I never see anyone actually wearing it.
“The future is a risk of our heads”
“Unprescripted love”
“Poetry finally kills celebrity culture”
“Modern dead ideas”
What the fuck does any of this mean? It reads like a bad Babble Fish translation. “Unprescripted”, that’s not even a fucking word.
I love you.
The first denim atrocity reminds me of some pink chambray culottes I used to wear (with white tennis shoes) when I was in the 8th grade. They were all bagged out and sad. And in the back the ass seam was always twisted halfway around to the side, just like the picture. To complete the horror, mine had on-seam pouch pockets that bunched up and made my hips look like they had big tumors.
God.
The last jeans creep me out, in a weird surgical way. Like we are seeing into an incision-things we dont need to know are there.
Ick.
Just go to your nearest Op. shop and buy some shit for $ 3 and adjust to suit.
Everything else is vanity – and/or crap.
DJ – I can lend you the 91 cents at a very low interest rate!!!
Suspended – The inanity of the actual badges is an extra insult.
Marky – I love you too.
Bevitron – What a haunting and visceral memory. You need a spiritual cleansing with sage and whatever else.
kellie – EW!
Andra – Crap, mostly, yep.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! People actually pay good money for that shit? Ha! Ha! Ha! Hard to believe. Gak.