Ahem. Let the meeting come to order!
First of all, in response to all the nice people who are concerned about my age, my shriveled anus, and so on, I would like to make it clear that I will be fifty seven this month and I fucking rule. See me arm wrestling above, at a family gathering a couple of weeks ago.
Face it! I just rule. It’s not my fault that I didn’t over-pluck my eyebrows, I didn’t like staying out in the sun, I didn’t fuck up my hair and I was just lucky that way. This rampant ageism among the nice people who have recently come aboard is very sad. They are terrified of aging but that’s not my fault either. In any case, that particular weapon is useless here. Thanks anyway!
Second: An excitable woman in Texas has taken it upon herself to rally her Good Ol Gals on facebook to come here and cause mischief. The woman is a pal of Sea and Mom. Here is her best comment thus far:
Now we know more than we wanted to know about Sea’s appraisal of me. She is welcome to perseverate on female genitalia, as she does on her “other” blog. Just not mine.
As it turns out, poor Mom is also preoccupied with me as evidenced by a histrionic screed that she left as a comment, using a proxy server. Her comment was particular shocking, coming from a mother, but obviously our ideas of morality are very different. At least she got Sea to delete this “thought:”
Grief, shoes, it’s all the same to some people. Scary but true.
~
Now, here is my thinking. I have been committed to a blog that is free of censorship. But this orchestrated attempt to waste my time is annoying my real readers. So, how about one of these strategies:
1. When some lunatic leaves a comment that slanders me ( in the true sense of slander) we shall respond to them with the word “WHORE!” For example, “Dumbbell” writes “LOL sister wolf, your an old old old anus with no sole” the response from faithful readers shall be “WHORE!”
or
2. I will just allow the first two lines of every slanderous comment and delete the rest. That way, “Judy under a fake name” can write: “sister wolf you make me sick, bile vitriol, venom, old old old empty lonely bad mother crazy as a loon and even reading my freaking ebay curations and you make me so sick and you hate on and your just so old and why don’t you get a life you horrible old thing and bab bad mother who doesnt know how to grieve like we do in Texas you old old older-than-me narcissist narcissist bla bla bla bla” but it will be shortened to “sister wolf you make me sick, bile vitriol, venom, old old old empty”
Well, these are my ideas for now.
“Sea has taken a brief respite from shoe curating but the posing and self-adoration continue unabated, like the tides.” and “are a couple, but whoa, he is packing such a gigantic package, are you sure you’re up to this??” and “I hate you, you stupid moon-faced bitch.”
What’s all this about unfair personal attacks! SW loves to dish them out!
And while we talk about hypocrisy, SW berates Jane for buying things yet her every other post is about something “she can’t have”.
And well dang, while we’re at it, SW and all her defenders, what have you done to help those less fortunate? Or are you the less fortunate?
And this blog is supposed to be satire, I guess in a way it is. But if you really want to make fun of people do it with more humor and style. The lady that runs Regretsy is funny. You’re not.
To all her defenders. You guys are in what..your twenties? Do you too aspire to be a bitter old fifty seven year old woman with no job and who lives to bash other people? You know your mother would be very disappointed.
And I’m looking forward to being called a whore. Bring it on!
Karen
Karen – WHORE!
Awwh, I feel better now.
I agree with Lara, vent all you want SW, we’re right there with you. Oh and Karen, get back to us when you are 57, post a pic and let us know how you are doing. SW has aged beautifully, and has recently undergone a loss beyond all belief. Please have a little respect. Also, many people are losing their jobs through no fault of their own. Conspicuous consuption is OUT.
LISTEN UP: I will never, ever, stop blogging. Ever. Got it? If you need to mention my son, you will just need to do it. I’m sorry you don’t understand right from wrong but I cannot help you with that.
You just can’t hurt me. You can only annoy me.
I am much, much stronger than you tragic sick trolls. I will never let you win. Never. It’s just not in my nature.
Carry on.
karen you are brilliant!!! SW had no comeback except to call you a whore. Fuck I think she is losing it, she even abused that Cailin chick who was being nice to her. I am starting to really enjoy SW hypocrisy, it makes for such amusing reading.
Karen you forgot to to mention that she actually tries to get money from her devotees so not just a hypocrite but a scam artist too
WTF is going on?? 🙁
Come on people, Sea of Asshole and Mommy Dearest aren’t worth this 🙁
Let’s just go back to making fun of them and not giving a fuck.
@Nati Hell
That is what I was trying to say, but I didn’t do a very good job of it. Oh well. I’m sorry if I upset you SW.
Karen, actually I feed the homeless pretty regularly. It’s fun, you should try it sometime. I have volunteered at an animal shelter before). And during the holiday season, I love doing present drives for the needy (I like wrapping). All this is to say, that’s what I do as volunteer work (but that doesn’t stop me from loving some designer clothes). You asked, I told.
WTF!! I go away for some dinner and mojitos and the whorish trolls invade. Bunch of disgusting low-lives whose parents should have been given parental fitness exams before allowed to birth the is what these cunts are.
I think that if we are forced to focus on genitals, I would like to focus on the bits I dont have.
Bollocks, cock etc.
It is a bit boring to have to think about what I have already…
Cailin=WHORE
Fuck I’m glad someone mentioned the botox addiction SW has, I because I know her I know this is a fact, so own up to it bitch. Oh and your hair is fucked up and when you see the ends close up they are vile. Everyone who knows SW jokes about her hair behind her back
Aja you are a regular saint, fuck how do you cope with the halo on your head, does it give you headaches?
Mary – Hahahahha! Botox! So, you think I should forbid comments about my son? would that work, you stupid whore?
Have fun I need to eat dinner now. co
Oh, sassy, you pathetic WHORE. You sad, sad, dirty WHORE.
I would like to dedicate this beautiful song to Karen, Alex, Mary and all other Sea of Shoes supporters:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKs94E10pUc
🙂
“Karen you forgot to to mention that she actually tries to get money from her devotees so not just a hypocrite but a scam artist too”
Oh yeah, the patron button. SW what song will you write for me if I give you fifty bucks? It better have whore in it somewhere.
Love,
Karen
What a great thread. I believe Sister Wolf has won this round again.
Might I suggest disemvoweling the trolls? That always puts a smile on my face.
Keep on rocking in the free world Sister.
xoxo
sassy – HAHAHAHHAHA! My hair fucking rules!
Mary…did you ever stop to think that people may ALREADY talking about her son? Because they are. People are speaking about a woman’s dead son to get back at her for talking shit about a girl and a resin covered roach on a blog.
But SHE’s the sociopath.
I’ll defend everyone’s right to have and express an opinion, in favor of or in dissent, but some of this.shit.here…is just crazy.
@Ma – Will you adopt me?! That was brilliant!
I was laughing at Ma’s comment as well. That was the most amazing thing I’ve seen all day. And I’ve seen a lot.
Ellie – Take that broomstick out of your ass and fly away from here, you vile piece of whoreish excrement.
HelOnWheels, you are sad and pathetic in your weird adoration for SW. I know her and let me tell you she is not the person you think she is
Ellie, you are straight out of hell. I cant imagine that you have a fun and fulfilling life. I think it is the job of the people on here to point out that you are an idiot. Of catastrophic proportions.
Further to this point, you are mean and spiteful.
Bitter will just eat you up inside.
Honestly Ellie, it doesnt really matter what she is like in real life.
We dont live with her, we just read her words. This isnt a real life relationship.
None of us is perfect, and we are human, what more do you want-a pound of flesh???
I definately got the point that she was sad about Max. What mother would be sad about her son dying???
You are evil. And undoubtedly going to hell Ellie.
Ellie – Ahahahahahahaha!! You’re a stupid cunt. I do not have adoration for anybody on the internet. What I do have is interest in and respect for some people but mostly disdain and disgust for vile individuals such as yourself. But you carry on with your “I know SW and the rest of your clueless sheep don’t” tirade.
Hey kellie, I’ve got a mojito with your name on it for your lovely words. Anybody else?
“Sassy someone asked a question, I answered. Just saying, charity . . . it’s do-able (two thumbs up). Anyway, you should give it a go. I bet you’d like it”. And when the angel uttered that statement the halo above her head began to glow a bright and shining light, so luminescent that even the most angry SW haters knelt down before her. Or something like that. Toodles!
Ellie – YOu may be some retarded I Ching reading friend of Simone, but I don’t have to prove to you the extent of my grief or what I’m going though. You need some help.
@HelOnWheels Sure! hahahaha I actually wanted to dedicate the laxative parts. Too bad I couldn’t find them on youtube.
Thank you very much, I would love a drink!!! Extra lime, if you would please!!!
I’m in for drinks!
Are we having happy hour today? Great follow up to the ice cream social.
Karen – there is a difference between ‘defending’ SW and actually being disgusted by the crassness of people who ‘know’ SW and talk about her son, her mothering, etc.
There is nothing wrong with botox, trust me when i say if you get a giant line between your eyebrows some day and you feel like fixing it you will do it and wonder at the miracles of modern medicine. News flash: botox ain’t no big deal. But thanks for sharing another judgy thing you feel makes you an authority on good looks.
Please give to SOS Children’s Village. Yes its the charity Angelina shills for but she’s not wrong in this case, it is by far the best organization caring for orphans and poverty stricken children all over the world
Kellie haha, you know nothing about me so shove whatever fell out of your ass back up there. Contrary to what you believe I am not bitter but just a person who knows SW personally and was a friend of her son. I am just giving my opinion on what she is really like outside of this blogosphere and it is not pretty. Deal with it sucker
Yes, let’s have happy hour. *starts mixing mojitos* I make them with my home-grown mint (which is growing like crazy this year!) and lovely Don Q rum. I am literally sitting on my lovely porch, drinking mojitos and enjoying the beautiful evening. Y’all should come over.
why are we back to talking about parts I already have??? didnt I make a request for parts I DONT HAVE earlier?? Are you not carefully reading what I say???
I had totally forgotten that it is Friday night!!! I do retail, and so Saturday is just another day on the tiles for me.
Karen aka Sea of Beetles.
Home-grown mint! Fantastic. I usually use key limes and Havana Club cuban rum. DELICIOUS.
kellie – Penis, scrotum, dick, balls. Better? 😉
What’s wrong with botox!!!! If Sw wants to inject her face with it every week then that is her business and I have to day she looks good for her age so the botox is doing wonders for her
I am going to England in a few weeks. THey are really skimpy on the ice over there. You have to beg, as if frozen WATER is some sort of valuable commodity.
Alicia – Is Havana Club a dark rum? I haven’t heard of it. Is it from Cuba or is that a form of rum? Yeah, that mint has been crazy I have 5 different kinds but the ginger mint makes for an interesting combination in a mojito.
Oops submitted too soon -Im not done. Shine my halo too, i give $45 a month to SOS. Auto pay. It’s that easy to be a decent human.
Ellie you’re obviously an outside observer to SWs family drama and someday you will hate yourself for writing this evil shit. I wont bother explaining this to you, life will show you and you will see. Karma is truly a bitch.
it sounds so yummy, I am trying to think what I have here that could make some sort of coctail…
I have Pimms, but no fruit. Thats no good.
Lemonade is about all I can do I think,
ugh.
HelOnWheels – ball sack!
It’s an aged light rum and it’s from Cuba, so we don’t get it in the US…however, if you happen to go to Mexico on a cruise…you can get it…not that i did that or anything…
OOH!!! Ginger mint sounds GREAT for a mojito. Will try soon.