On the Rag

The commuinques above are from the esteemed owner of Dolly Python, a shop in Dallas, using a nom de guerre.

~

This one below is from the classy socialite and fashion maven Judy Aldridge (regarding Anna Wintour):

What do they have in common? I see a disturbing preoccupation with menstruation.

I remember being around 10 years old and having to see a film in school about menstruation. I   recall feeling intense embarrassment and general discomfort.

But then I got a little older and had my first period. My sister showed me what to do. It was kind of upsetting. She forgot to tell me that you had to keep changing your pads. But soon enough, I learned that menstruation is just a part of life. I never used cute little euphemisms like “My friend is in town” or however that one goes. I never   called it “the curse.” I would say, “I have my period, do you have an extra tampax?” or something like that.

Once, after a night out and being a little tipsy, I couldn’t find my tampax! I tried and tried but the more anxious I became, the more impossible it was to do it. Finally, I went to get my date (now my husband) who was waiting in the bedroom.

Now, for you gals in Texas, it’s time to leave. You’re never going to be able to handle this. Scram! Shoo!

Okay, so then, my gracious date told me to lay down and relax. He would find it for me. I will never forget how gentle he was.   Gentle, confident, and manly. Manly enough to remove the tampax and go throw it away like a gentleman. I felt my heart go CLUNK. This was a man in a million. I fell in love right there, right then. Nineteen years later, he is still the only man whose hands I want on me. Except for Johnny Depp, of course.

I always loved having my period. It’s messy but sensual. It reminds you that you are a woman. It reminds you of the cycles of nature, the moon and the tides.

Where does the fear and loathing come from, ladies of Texas??

If you would like to share your memories or point of view and you can do so without being a slobbering lunatic, jump in.

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227 Responses to On the Rag

  1. WendyB says:

    You sure these aren’t just raving trolls masquerading as someone else? Seems like the work of a wannabe-Weev rather than anyone with a modicum of sanity.

    Separately, I thought MrB was good just for being willing to go out and buy tampons (jumbo size). I’m extremely impressed with Mister Sister Wolf!

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    WendyB – Yep, absolutely sure. I will pass on your props to Mister Sister!

  3. vergoncha says:

    I am a proud Texas woman Sister Wolf… and a loyal follower to your blog. And I must say though sometimes I cant stand my period I too love it for the simple fact it reminds me I’m a woman 🙂

  4. oops says:

    This blog gives me the sadz now.

  5. Marky says:

    He is one in a million. In high school, we’d always make the girls try to buy beer if the clerk in the 7-Eleven or Liquor Store was male. “Go and get a box of tampons and a twelve pack,” we’d say, “and the clerk will be too embarrassed to ask you for ID.” It worked. Twenty five years later, my friend Jessica still has a stockpile of tampons from the ’80s.

  6. Dru says:

    Sorry, Sister, I can’t agree with you about the period- I’ve always hated having mine. Frequent worries in my formative years about possibly staining a (helpfully white!) school uniform skirt, excruciating pain (especially in the early years, when I was under 16 and my mother decided I was too young to take even one painkiller tablet to be able to function), and just generally feeling like shit for at least two days in every month (painkillers notwithstanding- I need one tablet every month for this), do nothing to endear it to me. I kind of look forward to being post-menopausal and no longer having a period, to be honest.

    I’m no advocate of ass-kissing, but Gretchen Dolly or Uncle Jerry or whatever the hell he/she/it (can’t tell from the photograph someone posted in a previous comment thread) is posting as, sounds like a raving loon. I don’t know how you put up with these trolls- reading through all the comments makes me want to quit the Internet cold turkey except to post fanfic. I swear, even rabid livejournal fangirls are saner and more civilised than this lot. And yeah, a period is a pain, but now you get trolls with period fetishes? Ack.

  7. Sister Wolf says:

    vergoncha – You are a credit to you state and gender!

    oops – Awwwww, poor you.

    Marky – Hahahahahhaha!

  8. jools says:

    I’ve been too horrified by these soulless creatures to comment. But I do kinda miss my period. Not my horrible mood swings and sore breasts-but the relief it brought. My husband was always a good sport about fetching supplies. But I always resented him saying in the middle of a hissyfit (mine) “I think you might be getting your period soon”. It didn’t make it any easier that he was right!

    I’m so happy that you have Mister Sister. He’s awfully handsome too. You deserve him SW. And much much more. You don’t deserve these Texas Morons harassing you. xo

  9. Ann says:

    2 years ago, I changed my birth control to Mirena, an IUD. About 20% of Mirena users experience either a sharp decrease in their periods or no periods whatsoever. I am in that 20 percentile and have not had my period in over 18 months. I admit to missing it. I was never one of those women who experienced PMS, mood swings, difficult periods, heavy flow or cramps, so maybe that’s why I miss it.

    Mister Sister is a keeper.

  10. Sister Wolf says:

    Dru – It’s a shame they made you girls wear WHITE skirts, what a monthly anxiety that must have been! And your mom could have been more sympathetic. I know someone whose mom told her to shove up the whole cardboard thing and to leave it in!!!!!!!

  11. Sister Wolf says:

    Jools – Yep, whenever I’d announce “I’m premenstrual!” my husband would say “We know, dear.”

    Ann – Now I miss your periods too. xo

  12. gretchen bell aka DOLLY PYTHON says:

    WHY DON’T YOU PUBLISH MY ENTIRE COMMENTS YOU ASSHOLE.

  13. gretchen bell aka DOLLY PYTHON says:

    HYPOCRITE. CHOKE ON YOUR OWN MEDICINE. MMMMMMMMMM TASTES GOOD!!!

  14. Alicia says:

    Wow. That is noble.

    I don’t like my period (and I usually call it a dot) because of the back pain that comes with it. It’s TERRIBLE.

  15. Oh yuk that Aldridge comment. Idiot woman.

    As for periods started them late and hope to finish them early. I’m quite ambivalent about them other than when I went to school in Canada I discovered Tampax that had plastic covers rather than the cardboard ones in the UK.

  16. Sister Wolf says:

    Alicia – Back rub? Hot water bottle? Or one of those stick on things that stay warm for hours?

    Mak Do – What if Tampax came in black lace?? Would that make a difference to girls? They might look sexy!

  17. HelOnWheels says:

    I’m not a fan of my period probably because I have bad memories associated with it: I developed at an early age and had to deal with the humiliation piled upon me by the girls who weren’t even shopping for training bras at the time. However, I believe I will miss it when I become menopausal because it does remind me that I’m a woman, even while I’m curled up in a fetal position trying to OD on Ibuprofen.

  18. HelOnWheels says:

    PS – Mister Sister (buahaha) is totally a keeper!

  19. Nati Hell says:

    Oh my god Gretchen, you’re the most annoying person ever, get lost! At least, stop it with the caps lock. You need some medication…

  20. Liz!! says:

    The fact that my fiance has proposed to me despite the monthly ritual below speaks volumes about his character.

    1 Week before my period:

    1) Fiance inevitably does something stupid, because he’s a guy. It’s usually something as minuscule as doing a victory dance after beating me at chess or drinking the last of my Sangria.

    2) I start to A) Cry B) Scream C) Shower him with invectives D) All of the Above

    3) After acting like an asshole for a few minutes, his eyes start to take on the Light of Understanding. He apologizes and cuddles with me.

    4) I cry and apologize more than necessary for Step 2.

    5) I tell him that I’m getting my period next week.

    6) Without hesitation, he says: “No shit.”

    This happens without fail at least once or twice a month. I really hate it because in my mind, I know that I’m being irrational. But I can’t help taking it out on him. 🙁

    Sometimes I like my period, sometimes I don’t. I want to start wearing cloth pads and wash them by hand. This freaks out just about everyone, and for that reason I am going to buy some good quality ones when I have a little extra money. I am ready to face my “disgusting” blood and wash my pads with my bare hands. Bring it on!

  21. SW – black lace, trade mark it!

  22. Sonia Luna says:

    Mr. Wolf is a keeper!
    I thought my boyfriend was a true gem for not flinching when I asked him to buy some tampons for me, a small gesture but it meant a lot and made me love him a little bit more.

    For all of you with period pains I recommend Evening Primrose capsules, since I started on them my period has been a doddle!

    Gretchen Bell you are insane I hope you realize that!

  23. Sister Wolf says:

    Liz!! – I’m all for it. It will save money, it’s green, let me know if it work out.

    Make Do – ” Trade your Tampax for Sexipax! TM”

  24. Alicia says:

    @Liz – get a menstrual cup! It’s great (and green! as in earth friendly…the cup itself isn’t…you know…green). If you have questions, fire away.

    @SW – the therma care back patches are the only things that save me.

  25. kt says:

    I started menstruating at age 11, and it happened while sitting in an assembly. I was bored and zoning out when suddenly I felt a gush of fluid from inbetween my legs. I wasn’t sure if I had peed myself, so I was pretty scared and confused. When I was finally able to, I ran to the bathroom to see what the hell was going on. And there it was, my glorious period. I think I even smiled to myself.

  26. Erika says:

    Liz, I think you should go for it. Why not ?? It’s a fact of life.

    I love everything about being a woman but I hate getting my period, I hate PMS. I hate taht when my period finally ends I will have menopause and that will be a whole other hormonal trip.

  27. Cricket9 says:

    No period anymore – don’t particularly miss it, and believe me, I still feel like a woman, no question about it. I started early and finished late; on top of this we had truly horrible, enormous, “one size for all” pads in Poland. It was like wearing a diaper, only worse. The arrival of OB tampons was a blessing, but it was very hard to get them. In the eighties, in the time of total crisis and nothing (I mean, literally nothing) in the stores they disappeared completely. When a friend from Germany sent a care package with some tampons, I almost cried. I also had PMS, back pain etc., so no, I don’t have much fond memories from that time. . BTW, black thin pads with a lace patter on them are now available in Poland – I got a sample with a Polish women’ magazine. My hat off to Mister Sister – no wonder you fell in love SW!
    Dolly P. – get thee to the psychiatrist pronto, you need help.

  28. Mark says:

    I met a woman who runs a company in Portland, Oregon that makes those cloth pads. Being a man, I cringed for about half a second before I realized what a good idea it is. Plus, she was very cool and had a great sense of humor.

  29. Juli says:

    I was on depo provera (birth control shot in the arm every 3 months) for 2 years and didn’t have my period the entire time. About a year or so later, I got pregnant. I was then either pregnant or breast feeding for the next 3 or so years. Two months after my second child was born, I got the IUD Mirena. So I have probably had my period a total of 10 times in the last 7 years. It’s awesome. I hate my period with a passion because I get horrible, crippling cramps and back aches so I hope I’m one of those women who go through early menopause.

    Mr. Wolf sounds awesome. My hubby would probably do the same if I asked him. He’s a keeper as well.

  30. Marie says:

    I rarely comment here, SW, but I am a faithful reader. Interesting the invective (and unimaginative at that) that people can come up with. Honestly, who has the energy for all this?
    I also find it interesting that you feel so positively about your period, as well as some of the commenters. I was pregnant recently, and my period returned all too early for my taste, and with a vengeance. Previously, I knew exactly when it was coming, exactly how long it would be here (2 days), and I never really had to even spend any brain space on it. Now however, I start not feeling well a week before, get depressed, wonder what is wrong with me, and have a flash of insight when I finally start bleeding, which now comes with cramps and stays for a week or more. Nope, definitely not a fan. There are plenty of other ways to be reminded of my femininity.

  31. theresa says:

    my first real relationship/love was horrified of any sign of blood between my legs. he was not a keeper.

    I am fascinated by period blood…and I think clots are the most beautiful color, the most interesting texture.

    But the 4 days before it comes are DEFINITELY a curse. Getting my period is a relief, because, A, I get to sign away all of my depressive feelings and general loss of energy to PMS, and B, I know the depression is over at least for a while.

    But yes. I agree. it is very sensual.

  32. the real andrea says:

    Oh I would give anything to still be getting my always messy hemorrhage-y period instead of the dry vagina/painful sex and hot flashes I’ve had for SEVEN YEARS!!!! All of these things also remind me that I am a woman, albeit an old one. (and I use Vagifem inserts for the vaginal dryness which makes me feel a little less of a dried up old crone).

    And gretchen bell/dolly python/uncle jerry- you come across as insane, especially with all caps. Just saying. Btw, do you have any 1920s blue dresses?

  33. Sister Wolf says:

    Cricket9 – Wow. I feel like I just lived through a whole other dimension. I can imagine how difficult that must have been. re the black lace: I loved my black lace nursing bra. I think I saved a couple.

  34. Sister Wolf says:

    Juli – Well, nobody can enjoy crippling cramps. No fair. Congrats on finding the great husband!

    Marie – Comment more often, we need the sanity.

  35. sonja says:

    oh dear. gretchen is loosing her cool. I wonder why she hangs around? Gretchen, a real question, why do you hang around here?

  36. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Dear crybaby asshole,
    I think you should fly to Dallas so we can have a arm wrestling, nude mud wrestling, fried hott dog ‘shit’ eating contest. After we resolve all our anger towards each other we can go pet kittens at the SPCA and feed the homeless. I’m sure I can drum up plenty of publicity for y assless self. My guest room will be converted into a nur

  37. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    I will convert my guest room into a nursery for you with a changing table.

  38. Andra says:

    I just hated every period I ever had. 3 days of agony that nothing would cure. I just curled up on the floor with a hot water bottle. Now I find that the hot water bottle cure could have been dangerous, but it wouldn’t have mattered to me if it killed me. Better death than that pain.
    I finally had a doctor friend who told me to go on the pill and just keep taking it, no inert tablets. Voila! I just didn’t have a period for many years.
    When I ceased having the dreaded monthlies a fair amount of bliss crept into my life and I have never regretted it.
    Of course, I was in Bali at the time and having a dreadful flood and managed to bleed all over the country.
    The Balinese people are extremely fastidious about menstruating women, who are not allowed to enter temples or take part in many ceremonies at that time of the month.
    Ah well, I have never bled on them again, for which I’m sure they are grateful.

  39. Audi says:

    I’ve always known since childhood that I did not want children — they’re just not my thing. Starting at around age 22 I began talking to my doctor about getting a tubal ligation and was flat out denied. Later, after I was married, I was told by a different doctor that I would need my husband’s permission to get one. Obviously I did not stay with any of these jackass doctors, but in the meantime I was on Depo-Provera. And for many long years I stopped having my period altogether, which gave me the creeps because I wondered what else the drug might be doing to my body. But mainly I missed the monthly verification that I was in fact not pregnant; though I’ve never been overly fond of having my period there is something reassuring about it for me. Six years ago (at 34) I finally got my tubal, and I couldn’t be happier, but something in me still appreciates that monthly confirmation, as if my body is checking in to let me know that everything is ok.

  40. Sister Wolf says:

    Kt – Yeah, 11 is young and it’s horrible to be “different.” I remember blood on my chair at school….I’ve blocked out how I dealt with it.

    theresa – You are my long lost daughter. xo

    therealandrea – Shhhhh don’t say old crone or you-know-who might start calling you names.

  41. Sister Wolf says:

    Gretchen/Dolly – Oh good, do you have a baby?? I love babies! I love teenagers too, except for the spoiled rich ones. Generally, teenagers are so idealistic and full of curiosity, don’t you think? My kid’s friends are like that.

  42. Sister Wolf says:

    Andra – Hahahaha, Bali is relieved. Why do so many cultures fear/loathe a menstruating woman????

  43. Em says:

    I’ve been reading for a while and haven’t commented, but I just loved this post.

    When I started my period, I was in middle school, and they were so heavy I had to change my pad almost every hour. Teachers weren’t supposed to let us go to the bathroom during class, and we only got four minutes between classes. How cruel! Whoever decided that must have been a man who thought four minutes was plenty of time to go pee. Luckily I had a couple pairs of black pants. So yeah, my getting my period was all embarrassment and anxiety back then. I’m starting to get teary just thinking about how that was!

    I can’t say that I love my period, but I try not to let myself be negative about it. It does remind me that I’m a woman, and an animal, too. It’s poetic, in a way. I’d like to eventually switch to reusable pads, maybe sew my own. When I mentioned the idea to my mom she seemed offended, I guess because she thought disposable pads and tampons were such a relief when she started to use them.

  44. Sister Wolf says:

    Audi – I know exactly what you mean about the body saying it’s doing its thing. More people who know they don’t want kids should make sure not to have them.

    Mark – Thank you for taking such an interest in feminine protection!

  45. Sister Wolf says:

    Em – Yeah, they didn’t seem to care about girls’ personal needs at all, in school, did they! If I had a daughter, I would definitely try to instill that it isn’t shameful in any way! I agree about the animal thing. I think that’s part of my pleasure in it…the primal aspect.

  46. Bessie the Buddha cow: says:

    Mr Sister rules!
    I have been on my period since 7/8/10. Nothing seems to stop it. I’ve been to the docs three times this past 30 days. My doc says my hormones are going crazy. I’m so drugged out and I don’t want to even be on any drugs. I’m forced into taking them or I bleed to where I end up in emerg. It’s the last big hurray, I’m guessing for my ovaries, but I’m getting scared. I can’t wait for it to end, too much is just too much. If it gets worse I’m back to emergency 2nite.
    Interesting topic you picked.

  47. Ma says:

    I never really cared about my period (or anyone else’s) until I had to deal with pain.
    Every single month is the same: 15 days of peace, 15 days of living hell.
    For around 14 days, my back hurts, my legs hurt, I get a terrible headache, my breasts are so swollen taking a shower is also a torture, my blood pressure drops. Not to mention I don’t feel depressed, I actually become homicidal.
    Then, when I finally bleed, I have around 28 hours of vomit-inducing cramps.
    It feels like Godzilla is eating its way out of my uterus.
    I’ve tried various kinds of treatments and medications, none of them worked.
    So, soon I’ll start getting shots of hormones to stop menstruating.
    Don’t know if it will be a problem if I decide to have kids in the future, all I know is living in this cycle of pain got too exhausting. :/

  48. sonja says:

    Oh I just got it. Gretchen wants to be just like Sister Wolf – she is aspiring to be as satirical a writer, she’s wants to show that she can to turn phraze as well, she wants to be as funny and engaging … Gretchen… there are lots of things one wishes they had the natural talent for… I’m sure you have friends who do think you’re very clever. But instead you look desperately for approval here, even though you pretend you couldn’t care what anyone on this blog thinks of you – you’re like the little boy that punches the girl in the arm when they really want to kiss her. You just can’t quit Sister Wolf, can you.

  49. Sister Wolf says:

    Bessie – This is not good! Let me know what’s going on. xoxo

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