On the Rag

The commuinques above are from the esteemed owner of Dolly Python, a shop in Dallas, using a nom de guerre.

~

This one below is from the classy socialite and fashion maven Judy Aldridge (regarding Anna Wintour):

What do they have in common? I see a disturbing preoccupation with menstruation.

I remember being around 10 years old and having to see a film in school about menstruation. I   recall feeling intense embarrassment and general discomfort.

But then I got a little older and had my first period. My sister showed me what to do. It was kind of upsetting. She forgot to tell me that you had to keep changing your pads. But soon enough, I learned that menstruation is just a part of life. I never used cute little euphemisms like “My friend is in town” or however that one goes. I never   called it “the curse.” I would say, “I have my period, do you have an extra tampax?” or something like that.

Once, after a night out and being a little tipsy, I couldn’t find my tampax! I tried and tried but the more anxious I became, the more impossible it was to do it. Finally, I went to get my date (now my husband) who was waiting in the bedroom.

Now, for you gals in Texas, it’s time to leave. You’re never going to be able to handle this. Scram! Shoo!

Okay, so then, my gracious date told me to lay down and relax. He would find it for me. I will never forget how gentle he was.   Gentle, confident, and manly. Manly enough to remove the tampax and go throw it away like a gentleman. I felt my heart go CLUNK. This was a man in a million. I fell in love right there, right then. Nineteen years later, he is still the only man whose hands I want on me. Except for Johnny Depp, of course.

I always loved having my period. It’s messy but sensual. It reminds you that you are a woman. It reminds you of the cycles of nature, the moon and the tides.

Where does the fear and loathing come from, ladies of Texas??

If you would like to share your memories or point of view and you can do so without being a slobbering lunatic, jump in.

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227 Responses to On the Rag

  1. The joys of that time of the month?

    South American tree frogs thoughtfully warn their surroundings that they are venomous by bright displays of color. Perhaps some women should do the same? Greta Garbo once portrayed Marguerite Guatier, a courtesan also known as the Camellia lady, so called because 25 days a month she wore a white camellia to signal she was available – a 5 days a red one as a sign that she was temporarily out of commission.

    I’m just saying if you’re going to wear a wedding ring a camellia wouldn’t hurt as an additional signal.

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    MA – Oh dear, this is not good either!!!! I wish someone had been able to help you with this earlier. I hae heard many times that cramps are less of a problem after childbirth..something about the uterus doing something or other. It sounds like a nightmare! Best of luck to you and let us know if the shots help.

    sonja – Well, she did say I was a beautiful woman with sad empty eyes. Who could resist that, you know?

  3. I recently read Gloria Steinem’s “If Men Could Menstruate.” I have to say, it made me laugh a ton, and I completely wish it would happen. I mean, I know that wasn’t the point of the article, but the commercials alone would be worth it.

    As for my own cycle, I’m coming off birth control, so this will be the first real period I’ve had in YEARS. I do not look forward to the cramps, but I’m excited to see whether me and my roommates get all synced up and start getting bitchy and moody at the same time. I feel like I’ve been missing part of the female bonding and solidarity experience. I will NOT be happy when the cramps come back full force. I’m hoping I’ve actually outgrown those, and that it’s not just because I still have depo in my system that they’re not bad.

  4. thedelicatemink says:

    My favourite thing about being pregnant (except my child) and the year of breast feeding that followed was not getting my damned period! I hate the cramps, the mess and the bloating.

    I did however have a Norwegian boyfriend whose sheets I accidentally bled all over before I returned to Canada. He used to call me and tell me that he still hadn’t washed the sheets for missing me. Loved that. Very primal.

  5. sonja says:

    there ya go, whatcha gonna do…

  6. Alicia says:

    @Bessie I had episodes like that when I was on depo. Bleeding for 6 weeks at a time. It was awful.

  7. Sorry for the double post, but I was just scanning comments, and @Em, wow, our experiences are so completely different! My teachers–ESPECIALLY the male ones–were completely terrified of two words:

    “Female Problems.”

    Or troubles. Sometimes we’d just say “It’s a girl thing.” And they would wave us on out the door. The male professors were particularly eager not to stand in our way, I think they were actually terrified of the thought of trying to stop a menstruating teenager from leaving the classroom. That’s how they acted, anyway. Maybe it made some people feel embarrassed or ashamed–I know I did feel that way at first. But after awhile, it made me feel really powerful. I mean, I could walk out any door I wanted, just by alluding to the fact that I’m female, and that my body does something theirs doesn’t. No classroom could hold me!

    I really tried not to abuse this, either. I mean, not only did the female teachers get wise pretty fast, but it felt like a violation of something pretty sacred if I used it just to make a phone call or something. Still, knowing I HAD that power. That was awesome.

  8. patni says:

    Bessie that sounds awful. Have they checked you for fibroids? I had periods so heavy that i bled through three tampons an hour, or about 10 minutes for the diva cup. This went on for years. I was so anemic I had no life because i was too tired to raise my head off the pillow. It was awful. And no one thought to look for fibroids, despite my history of painful heavy periods.
    When they finally found them, at a routine dr check up, I was so relived i nearly cried, at least there was a reason.

    I had a hysterectomy, and my life has been great ever since. I have energy! They left my ovaries, so i still get PMS which is weird. I don’t want babies, so that didn’t bother me.

    I always hated my period. I have bled all over the world it seems.
    There is an awful story that involves me hiding behind a rock at Maachu picchu trying to put in a tampon with my friend standing guard. SO SO relieved to to have to deal with all that any more.
    I love that you like yours, Sister Wolf and the others! it is the way it should be. Just never seemed like that for me.

  9. Bevitron says:

    I was always glad to get my period – regular as clockwork and it made me feel healthy, that all was working as it was supposed to. I can remember actually feeling a little excitement when I knew it was on its way, good old, reliable period. Until. Early 30’s, pain on an industrial scale, especially around ovulation, progressing to all the time. Diagnosis did not come until 3 years before my early menopause and sudden complete cessation: endometriosis – a serious case. The endometrium was growing every damn where, on the sigmoid colon, all over the place. And of course, when the uterine lining bleeds, that extra-uterine shit bleeds, too, so you can imagine the awfulness. Anyway, after that came an unfortunate, nasty ovarian tumor that necessitated the yanking out of the whole apparatus and then some. I miss my period, miss my oves, my ute, but I tell anybody who’s worrying about being less woman when your periods stop – don’t. Nothing can un-woman you. Bravo Sister Wolf for this topic. And I bow to your obviously magnificent husband – wonderful story of the tampon. Black lace tampon containers – brilliant idea!

  10. Tina says:

    Mister W sounds great!

    I remember as a child finding my mother passed out on the bathroom floor every month from the pain. I started late (almost 15) and have had nothing but problems. I was on the Pill for the heavy flow and pain and now I have fibroids as a result.

    I also remember that as a girl I had to carpool to school with 2 boys. One day I left a bloody spot on the car seat and the guys saw it. I was so embarassed.

    I am from Texas (but I am not a hater)!!!!

  11. dilemmaful says:

    Man I had two older sisters who were always asking if “i was on my rags yet” (possibly just australian term), so I couldnt wait to get mine believing it made me a woman. Of course I was the only late bloomer in the family so didnt get it until I was 16 (unlike my sisters 11+13).
    Oh the pain. I get bad back pain too. Hot water bag is good and pain relief.
    My boyf is good being a single dad before I met him his daughter and him are super close and she told him she had her period before she told her mother. He buys us all pads and tampons whenever he goes to the shops its just like toilet paper, something you need.
    I’m thinking of getting a cup thing but am unsure. Anyone here got one?
    When I have my period I actually like to eat alot of beetroot too so my pee is red too.

  12. dilemmaful says:

    Also does anyone get super constipated while on their period?

  13. rebecca says:

    I love having my period. I feel so connected to the earth and very much in tune with everything.

    Albeit a bit antisocial. But I’m kinda antisocial anyway.

  14. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Hahahahahahaha!! I LOVE YOU GUYS !!!!

  15. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    I can’t stop!!! Sister wolf you are my drug sweetheart.

  16. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    I CAN’T QUIT YOU.

  17. Sister Wolf says:

    Raisin Girl – Hahaha, I too enjoyed the power to empty a room of males, simply by talking about my period. It is a powerful weapon, not to be used lightly.

    Patni – Well, and I love your Maachu Picchu story…I feel like I was there with you!

    Raison Girl – Oh I love the female sync phenomenon! Years ago, I used to post at a news group, and after a while when I posted “Who has their period?” most of the women said “I do!”

    Bevitron – Ah, how terrible for you. I used to have a huge fear of endo (can’t spell it) and I’m sorry you had to suffer. P.S. My tampon story of love is 100% true!

  18. Sister Wolf says:

    Tina – Bad to hear about your fibroids, good to hear that you’re from Texas, xo

  19. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    I’m gonna sit on you. Like a chair. And smile.

  20. Sister Wolf says:

    Gretchen – SEE????? We’re here to have fun! Come over from the dark side and have some fun! Those dumb rich bitches are a waste of time. We are here to bond and share the love. We are chicks with periods for godsake!

  21. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Texas is the kicks!!

  22. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Stop hating and say your sorry then.

  23. Sister Wolf says:

    dilemmaful -Good job on that boyfriend! Alicia uses the cup and recommends it.

    rebecca – Exactly. It’s earthy.

  24. Sister Wolf says:

    Gretchen – Nope, you first!

  25. Sister Wolf says:

    Gretchen – Plus, I can’t stop hating! I even have a tattoo that says so! You just need to trust that I only hate the hate-worthy! Come on. I’m a beautiful woman with sad empty eyes! Commmmme on, Gretchen, I can feel you melting.

  26. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    No your first. You started this. Say your sorry for hating and I will make my amends.

  27. Bessie the Buddha cow: says:

    @Patni, I’m going in for an ultrasound on Tuesday. I didn’t know a person can bleed so much and keep on going, though I’m just hugging my hot water bottle and praying it doesn’t get worse. I’m glad you had a good experience with the hysterectomy; right now I feel like having mine gone.
    @Alicia, my doc put me of depo to stop the bleeding? This is very interesting!
    @ SW, xooxxoxo back to you!
    P.S She wants to be your friend. It’s all very weird and surreal to me; sort of like the little boy who pulls the braids of the little girl he likes, but makes her hurt. She wants your approval, your love, your attention, and she’ll try to get it anyway she can. I would need several PhDs to figure this out. But she’s crying out to you for something. No rational mind would go on like this in someone’s home territory. Or is my 30+ days MSing that has my intuition going haywire.

  28. sonja says:

    eww, Gretchen. that’s just as funny as prison sex humour. maybe you don’t have any friends who think you are clever after all? well, learn to mind your manners, to not be a know it all cunt, and you might find some empathy here.

  29. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    COME ON BE A BIG GIRL. NO MORE HATE.

  30. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    TELL JANE YOU ARE SORRY!! YOU CaN DO IT!! OR NO DEAL.

  31. Sister Wolf says:

    Bessie – But you can’t just bleed until Tuesday!!!!!! What the fuck?!?

    Gretchen – I didn’t start anything, I just made fun of Jane! I didn’t even hate her but now I do! You know how fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly? Well, I gotta hate. Just a little. Just a few special people. You know what I mean, You got some people who just make you feel, grrrrrrrrrrr. I will never hate an underdog, how is that?

  32. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Goddamit I want to be friends but, you have to apologize to Jane and her family. It’s the only way. Love conquers all!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Andra says:

    Is the dreaded Gretchen creature becoming human?
    Surely not, at this late stage.
    Ho ho!!

  34. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    COME ON!! Put an end to this!!!

  35. Bevitron says:

    @dilemmaful – it’s been a while but I have vivid memories of the EXTREME constipation that went along with my periods. I would never pretend to guess what’s going on with someone else’s uterus, but I do remember a dr. (one of the good ones, and I saw LOTS of bad ones) telling me how that could sometimes be one of the main features of endometriosis for some women. That’s not to make you worry – some women just get constipated with their periods and it’s nothing. The point is, have regular check-ups & if it gets worse, investigate. When I had endo it was back in the dark ages and now there are many more alternatives to stop the suffering. (And not all cases are as extensive & painful as mine was.)

  36. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Come on!!! One foot in front of the other. You can do this!! No more hate!! No more attacks!!! Think of karma!! No more attacks!! If you do, consider yourself HEALED!!!

  37. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Gain respect from all most importantly yourself!!! You can do it!!!

  38. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Namaste!! Come on!! Do it!!!

  39. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Come on apologize!! Let’s work together!!!

  40. sonja says:

    Gretchen, you can choose to let up with your shit without securing some kind of deal. as you say, be a big girl.

  41. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Come on!! Apologize! Part the clouds of anger!!!

  42. Aja says:

    My Julia comment sure got tainted up there. She really did seem like a nice gal . . .

  43. Sister Wolf says:

    Bevitron -Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom on this xo

    Gretchen – I do respect myself. I would have nothing if I didn’t have self respect. I do not owe Jane Aldridge an apology. She has made herself a public figure and as such she is fair game for ridicule.

    She has not lived and suffered like you and I have, Gretchen. She is a money spending machine and her daddy is wearing himself out providing for shoes.

    Here is a compromise: I will change her face from “fat” to ” big and round.” I would ONLY do this for you, Gretchen.

    I have to pick up my kid now.

    WHAT A CLIFF HANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  44. HelOnWheels says:

    “Gain respect from all most importantly yourself”

    That’s the most clueless statement about SW and about anybody with any integrity. And about anybody that has done nothing wrong.

  45. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    Be the bigger person and apologize!! To Jane and her family!! Pull that thorn from your foot!!!!

  46. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    NO SHE IS NOT. YOU DONT KNOW THE GOOD THEY DO.

  47. sonja says:

    Sister, you are a way bigger person than I am – to bother trying to get through. I would so quickly dump it. Free up the space.

  48. Gretchen bell aka dolly python says:

    COME ON IT’S THE ONLY WAY

  49. Kathleen says:

    Before I went on the pill, I was vomiting at every period and at ovulation time. Also, I’d need at least 12 hrs of sleep during period days to even think of functioning, from the anemia. Plus as someone mentioned with blood pressure drops causing faintness.
    That’s the sole reason I went on the pill, since I wasn’t sexually active.
    And that’s what ticks me off so much when people of certain political persuasions want to deny women the pill because they think the only reason we use it is that we are wanton sluts who hate babies.
    At the moment I have been off it for a while, cause I’d been on for a good six or seven years straight, and I started getting worried about how they say women over 35 have greater risks etc.
    But if I start puking again, I’ll be back on it.

  50. Sister Wolf says:

    Aja – It took me SOOOOO long to figure out what you were talking about. Hahahaha! Yes, it did, sorry. She did seem nice in that movie, too.

    Kathleen – This sounds really horrible. Maybe if the pill were called something else, like Hormone Something Something, it would be less divisive. As for risks, yeah, that is scary. Is there nothing else they can do for you??

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