The commuinques above are from the esteemed owner of Dolly Python, a shop in Dallas, using a nom de guerre.
~
This one below is from the classy socialite and fashion maven Judy Aldridge (regarding Anna Wintour):
What do they have in common? I see a disturbing preoccupation with menstruation.
I remember being around 10 years old and having to see a film in school about menstruation. I recall feeling intense embarrassment and general discomfort.
But then I got a little older and had my first period. My sister showed me what to do. It was kind of upsetting. She forgot to tell me that you had to keep changing your pads. But soon enough, I learned that menstruation is just a part of life. I never used cute little euphemisms like “My friend is in town” or however that one goes. I never called it “the curse.” I would say, “I have my period, do you have an extra tampax?” or something like that.
Once, after a night out and being a little tipsy, I couldn’t find my tampax! I tried and tried but the more anxious I became, the more impossible it was to do it. Finally, I went to get my date (now my husband) who was waiting in the bedroom.
Now, for you gals in Texas, it’s time to leave. You’re never going to be able to handle this. Scram! Shoo!
Okay, so then, my gracious date told me to lay down and relax. He would find it for me. I will never forget how gentle he was. Gentle, confident, and manly. Manly enough to remove the tampax and go throw it away like a gentleman. I felt my heart go CLUNK. This was a man in a million. I fell in love right there, right then. Nineteen years later, he is still the only man whose hands I want on me. Except for Johnny Depp, of course.
I always loved having my period. It’s messy but sensual. It reminds you that you are a woman. It reminds you of the cycles of nature, the moon and the tides.
Where does the fear and loathing come from, ladies of Texas??
If you would like to share your memories or point of view and you can do so without being a slobbering lunatic, jump in.
thedelicate mink – Now THAT is a boyfriend.
So you say no?
Sigh. Sorry I’m on their side until this is resolved
I started menstruating relatively late at 14, and have now entered another womanly world of vaginal wonder called perimenopause, at the age of 48!
I’m a bit sad that I can never have another child. Especially since I’ve got a fantastic partner of 43 who doesn’t have any children of his own. But that’s the way life goes sometimes.
My daughter, who’s 12, started last year. She’s quite cool about it all. Very matter-of-fact, and I adore her attitude. She does have considerable pain each month, but she did say she’d rather be a female with a period than be a boy and have unexpected erections all the time. Bless her.
Goddamnit! I HATE the Aquarius in me sometimes.
Gretchen – How sad that there are “sides” one must choose. There is nothing to be resolved in the differences between me and the Aldridge Gang. We are from different planets. So long as they seek fame, there will be people who mock their lifestyle or whatever it is they do besides shop.
I am satisfied that I did them no harm. I wish I could say the same for them, regarding me.
You can still hang out with us, Gretchen. Because we’re cool here.
So, Raisin Girl brought up an interesting point: what would sanitary product commercials be like if men menstruated? I don’t think we’d see any of that “Have a Happy Period” crap. I think monster trucks and air guitar would feature prominently. Thoughts?
@Bessie – these hormones are the damned devil! How odd.
I wish that birth control tea was still in existence…
And who wants more info on the cup? There are tons of forums, but I know no one wants to plow through those. I do highly recommend them for many reasons. Less mess, more hygienic, no fear of toxic shock, they last 10 years, can’t feel them, etc, etc.
RedPaeony- ah, thanks for reminding me about perimenopause. That’s another thing- I have started having some hot flashes. Granted they’ve been very rare still, but at 38, the only good thing about it is I might get out of period hell early.
So maybe I won’t have to worry about going back on the pill and having a stroke if I can get through a few more years.
At least I don’t smoke, but with some asthma stuff I’m taking that also has stroke risk- but that I can barely breathe without, so, yeah. Piling on the “risk of stroke” meds, not a great plan.
Yeah, I did live through some crappy times and situations – but not that crappy after all; I was not hungry, my life was never in danger, etc etc. What doesn’t kill you, apparently makes you resourceful.
SW, I don’t get these attempts at extorsion of an apology, and I’m glad you did not give in. I don’t trust Gretchen/Dolly – I think she has a split personality, or something. Her spelling also varies, form atrocious to acceptable. Something is up…
BTW, I have a fat face, or we may call it round if we want to be nice. It pays off later in life – thanks to the fat face I have very few wrinkles. That and grey hair seems to confuse people. A young guy offered me a seat on a bus, gave me a second look and said “not that you are THAT old”. I couldn’t stop laughing.
Awn thanks, SW! <3
I've managed to make the worst days productive though. If my mind is occupied I don't get drained by the pain nor the hormonal craziness. Good for my sanity and for the cause I fight for!
And (now I'm about to get mushy) that's why I like your blog so much. It's refreshing to read/see someone who is critical. All those fashion/personal blogs annoy me, I work on that field and have to deal with self-absorbed-alienated people on a daily basis. So the internet is not completely full of crap and that makes me happy. 🙂
I just read an interview of Erin Wasson, she lists Gretchen as one of her close friends… This explains a lot, doesn’t it?
SW- I could have scans to make sure I don’t have fibroids, etc, like some of the other ladies have mentioned.
But at the time I had an order for tests last year I had like $0, and no insurance thanks to it costing a bazillion dollars a month with pre-existing stuff so just didn’t go get the tests.
Of course, I feel a little dumb because part of my $$ was spent on shit I don’t need. But I spent because I never thought I’d get a test order to worry about paying for, as so many docs just blew me off in the past.
As for this year, I’ve been too worried about other family health issues.
Oh, it’s so fun. To sum it up, Mom has cancer, though it’s a very treatable lymphoma and is responding well to chemo, it’s still pretty damn serious. Then, about when my Mom had her 3rd chemo treatment, my uncle started getting worse, he’d been in hospital last yr with liver trouble, and now here both his liver AND kidneys were going, and he died. And that’s my mom’s brother, so it’s super fun for her, having cancer and her brother dying. So right now, as long as I’m still breathing, I’ve been worried about others as our gender often does.
p.s. I forgot to mention that my pms is why I like GG Allin so much. haha Listening to his crappy music is helpfull whenever I feel like punching someone in the face. Gretchen, I’ll address one song to you anytime soon. Stay tuned!
Thanks for the cloth pad and cup recs. 🙂 Honestly, I am just so afraid to spend money on something that I’m not sure that I can fit up there. It just looks so unwieldy! I’ve read forum posts about women who were not able to correctly position the Diva Cup after multiple attempts. I’m afraid that I’m going to be one of those women!
I might get it one day, but I am so psyched to use cloth pads and keep a bucket under my sink. I guess it’s empowerment from my weird feminist tendencies and ideas about womanhood (although I don’t identify as a feminist).
And yes, I have a fat moon face too. Even when I was suffering from my ED, my face was still big and round. That’s how it is and I accept it. If the biggest insult dealt to me was that I had a fat face, life would be good.
I’d commiserate with Jane about our round faces, but I heard something about the family not having a television in the house. …
SW- and also, definitely condolences on your son, and no matter who taunted you, it never should have happened.
I had started reading your blog for a while, then of course lots of crap happened, and I didn’t see it for a while, then I came back to it and saw a reference to Max in the past tense, and I thought “Oh no! He died!” And I felt so sad even though I didn’t REALLY know you. I can’t figure how anyone can tease about things like that.
Then that darn cockroach necklace brought me out of lurking, and also brought ALL the crazies out of the woodwork.
And I like to use caps now and then, but ONLY for special EMPHASIS.
Wow, this whole gretchen thread took a turn, either that or she’s playing you, i dont know. I’m quite curious about the “good that they do”
i have to say, im kind of enjoying all of the diy and recipes on judy’s blog though..she seems a lot more human and mom-like
Goddamnit we were so close. I really wanted this to end. I just don’t think u are right to judge them. I don’t think it is at all fair.
MA- I have had my period “turned off” for about 2 years now. I take BCP’s back to back, with no week off. It has changed my life. I was so miserable, and pained and a mess for over a week, it was stupid.
Quotes from the nurse line-
“I am passing a lot of blood closts-when do I need to come in to Emergency?”
Nurse ” are any of them bigger than golf balls?”
“um,no. is that a possiblity?”
So scary!!!
I am more happy than you can imagine, and occasionally my b ody wants to have its period, so i have to let it. Which is still hell, but at least it is a rarity rather than a monthly drama.
Back to reading the comments…
Alicia-I cant imagine anything more vile than having to TOUCH all the messy bleeding clotty stuff.
that would make it totally unbearable.
I dont get that cup at all.
HelOnWHeels – I remember Gloria Steinem’s view was that guys would swagger around boasting, “I’m on the rag, man! You should see my flow!” or some thing to that effect. Hahahhahahaha!
Red Paeony – Perimenopause is such a nebulous term. It can last for years. Look how well you raised your daughter, that’s the main thing.
Cricket9 – That’s a great compliment from a young man. My face is thin, but not wrinkly. I just want facial fillers. That is my dream. To puff up my face like Madonna.
Ma – Thanks, Ma! I like to think that I am “opinionated” or “outspoken” rather than critical. But of course, a lot of the time, I’m mad. I’m happiest when we can all chime in and share our ideas and experience.
miawmiaw – I can’t imagine Erin Wasson having actual friends.
Liz!! – I’m sure your round face is lovely. I think I know what you mean about reveling in your femaleness, I feel like that too. That’s why I don’t shave my armpits.
Kathleen – You do have a lot of stuff to deal with. Lots of anxiety and worry and sadness. You’re supposed to take care of yourself too, though. Your mom is probably so grateful to have you, with her brother gone. Stay strong. I know it’s hard. xo
Gretchen – I’ll bet you know what sign I am.
Kathleen – I miss him so much. I miss him all the time. My heart is one continuous aching hole. Thanks for feeling my loss with me.
Gretchen you sound like a toddler who has just learned the plot of star wars and is enacting it on an internet forum about periods.
I went to the “treasure chest” of colorado springs yesterday. a quirky junk store. thought of you. wandered around for hours and had a great fucking time.
why are you so damn juvenile??? I get to collect junk for a job.
we all do it and lose thousands to the gooney birds and shop bop and net-a-porter.
fuck im on the market for a cockroach. you provide the cockroach, i’ll provide the period blood and we can call it performance art: THE BLOGGER’S TALE.
*you get to collect junk for a job.
*i mean to say
YOU get to collect junk for the job
liz – I believe that is the plan, a Martha Stewart type thing.
Gretchen – I just don’t like what they project. It offends me. It is also crude and grotesque for that girl to talk about me “masturbating” if that is in fact true. Remember: They WANT to be on display. They WANT to be judged, only they want the judgment to be “Ooooh, you are so amazing, I’d die for your shoes/house/trips to Tokyo!”
Let us agree to disagree on the Aldridge Clan. Get busy guessing my sign dammit!
As Kellie says, just keep taking the pills – no week off. You can do it for quite a few years (I did) without any problems.
Also, I know women who have the implant – just a tuck in the upper arm – lasts for 3 years.
Don’t seem to be any side effects.
Internal loops I also found to be good. Lasted for years.
I’ve given it all up ….. hooray!!
Gone grey of course, grown a beard and mustache and lots of wrinkles.
But at least I can now be an official eccentric old lady.
Previously, I was just considered “odd”.
Kellie – Oh god, golf balls?!?!? Jesus! For me, a bloody mess, eh, who cares. Not talking golf balls though.
theresa – May I provide the cockroach?? I paid the cockroach guys to get rid of them 2 months ago but they are back in record numbers. I’m so used to them I just swear at them. I’m getting the guys back, so make up your mind!
Andra – I wanted to be an eccentric old lady. According to my hate mail, I’m just a mean one with a shriveled anus.
I am having my period, as we type. I thank you for bringing a positive light to it, as I have been quite emotional and sensitive this go around. I don’t hate it completely, and can actually see the beauty in it, however, the pain can be overwhelming, and so can my hatred for stupid shit. I wish men could feel this intensity, and experience the joys of this gift from the universe.
@kellie – it’s really not that bad. once you get passed the learning curve, you really don’t have to touch it at all. it’s about as gross as using a tampon
and Liz!, it took me a while to get the hang of it (and once I did, I felt like an idiot, because it’s really easy), but since I have, there haven’t been any issues.
@Gretchen: I’m sorry, I know this is not of my business, but, why do you want SW to apologize to Jane and Mom?? She’s not here asking for an apology, that means she clearly doesn’t want one… so, why do you care?
none of my business*
“monster trucks and air guitar” <– HAHAHAHA! So true!!
Your Tampax love story is so sweet SW! I completely agree with you about periods making you feel like, connected to the earth, although sometimes it's hard to remember that when real life gets in the way and you run out of tampons or you have to commute home for two hours while bleeding and cramping. I also remember I read an old post of yours where you said that there was nothing more communal than a group of women talking about their periods.
My period was always fine until it mysteriously disappeared for 6 months in junior year of high school, probably thanks to me doing 2 hours of grueling track practice a day and getting 5 hours of sleep a night. When it came back, it came back with a vengeance, and ever since then there's at least one day a month that I spend doubled over in pain being like AWWWWW FUCK! (actually there was this awful morning this summer when this happened at the lab I worked at, and I was working while literally bent over, pipetting stuff and putting things away). I also bleed way heavier now. I wonder why that is?
Kind of a funny story (in retrospect) — last Thanksgiving I was on the first day of my period, and I had gone to the store with my mom in the morning to get something. We were walking back to the house to put away the stuff we had bought, when all of a sudden I started feeling this pulsating sensation around my lower abdomen. I quickly realized that Bad Shit was about to go down, and by the time we got to the front door, a distance of about 3 blocks, the pain was so bad that I could barely walk. I took some Tylenol but it was too late. I spent the next hour alternately rolling around on the floor screaming and moaning, and dry heaving into the toilet. It was the worst pain I have ever been in in my life…it felt like someone had smashed every organ in my abdomen. Even my mom didn't know what to do for me. Then my dad and brother came over for dinner. I was lying on the couch being all like "OW OWWWW OWWWWWWWWW" and they were like "what happened?" I explained that I had my period and they both just gave me this really solemn look and patted my hand…clearly they both had absolutely no idea what to do, lol. Then all of a sudden, magically, the Tylenol began to kick in. Within 15 minutes I was 100% fine and I got up and had Thanksgiving dinner with everyone else.
By the way, you couldn’t have posted this particular subject matter on a better day for me. You must have ESP. I am curled up in bed, watching Woody Allen movies (hating all the characters equally) and eating.
Sister – Your husband sounds wonderful. I think he’d even understand about Johnny Depp.
Being on the pill, I can’t help but feel mine are kind of…fake? Been on the pill since 15, due to dysmenorrhea and vomiting and anemia from periods. I had trouble getting a doctor to prescribe it, too – despite my mother being present – the doctor seemed to think I was a raging slut after cheap contraception or something. (I was a virgin attending an all girl’s school, actually…Sad, I know.)
You should get the fibroid tests when you can, Kathleen. I had the test done (ultrasound I think) and it’s just good to rule that possibility out (or address it.)
Gretchen – you owe Sister Wolf the apology, not the other way around. SW has shown you a lot of grace. It’s almost funny that you want her to be sorry.
arline – I love your period. You’re making me jealous. Perhaps men are without this intensity so they can go to war and kill each other or something? We’ll have to ask them.
Alicia – You can teach a class at The Learning Annex!!!
Gretchen, people have to be sorry to apologize, or it means nothing. No can be made to do anything that is not possible. Let go.
Actually I have a question – has the cervical cancer vaccine, called Gardasil here, been endorsed in other countries? Australian Government subsidised it for girls and women 12-25 recently for a limited amount of time. Wondered if other countries have done or are doing the same? (Though the health system in the US is fucked isn’t it?)
Nati – I think it’s because she feels torn between allegiances.
Angelica – Oh, did I say that? that was so brilliant of me! Look how gloriously communal it has been. It’s like sitting around a campfire, isn’t it??
In your story, I thought the men were going to run away screaming.
Aja – Arline is having hers too! I don’t know if she’s watching Woody Allen though.
Rosa – I think he’d let me do Johnny, just as I’d let him do Angelina Jolie. I think Kathleen was having insurance trouble? If women could get decent health care, all these conditions could get diagnosed earlier. The medical industry is more interested in selling pharmaceuticals to women than in healing them.
Yep sorry Kathleen it would make it really hard to not have any options for medical care unless you’ve got the cash. Those kind of systems make me really mad!
Yes Sister, governments should provide decent health and medical services to people. Rather than privatizing everything and letting the market (including drug companies) have free reign. After all, what are taxes for?
The tampax moment with your husband is just the most romantic thing ever (yes, I like this kind of “special” romantism rather than the corny one). Not all men would do this, your man rule!
Menstruation is for me a bit annoying cause i get cramps once per month, but I love your point of view about it: “It’s messy but sensual. It reminds you that you are a woman. It reminds you of the cycles of nature, the moon and the tides”, these lines express what i feel and think about it very well.
I have a couple of hippie-feminist girlfriends and they love the menstruation issue, they told me there is a “moon cycle” that coincide with the femenim cycle, its pretty interesting and beautiful.
Ahh, menstruation. Lovely topic. Ahem.
I sometimes feel guilty for never having been really that *into* the whole period thing. I am appreciative and lucky to have had ‘problem-free’ periods/cycles thus far, in the 20+ years I’ve been doing all that.
However, I guess, especially as one who has been consistently on BC and who is choosing to not have children, it just seems a bit.. silly.
Besides, I don’t like the additional ‘fuss’ that comes with monthly periods.
Fortunately, I’m in year 2 of a Mirena, and one of my ‘side effects’ is light spotting every couple/few months, and that’s the extent of my ‘period’.
Anyway, that’s my personal feeling, other people are different and there’s room for a variety of approaches/experiences. No excuse for Dolly/Gretchen/whatev though.
How weird! I have my period at the moment too.
Periods are reassuring to me too. Some commented (too lazy to scroll up for the exact comment) that getting their period provides a sigh of relief when you find out you aren’t pregnant and everything in your body is functioning; that’s how I feel.
BUT I get painful cramps that leave me on the floor wishing I could cut my midsection so the stabbing pain would stop. That happened once during a PE class where we had to go for a run. Two of my closest girl friends stuck with me until I could walk and listened as I moaned for a good half hour. The one good thing about cramps that it’s an excuse for me to take a really hot bath. Conserving water is not on my mind when it comes to menstrual cramps.
This comment thread is definitely one of my favourites so far.
I have spent most of my life being a bit of a loner but at the moment I am feeling very connected to the sisterhood and Sister Wolf and all the other ladies (Sister …. I insist we are ladies – surely, at least sometimes).
Maybe it’s because we have just all been through so much shit with the lunatic fringe recently but it feels good to read everyone’s comments.
I can relate to so many.
Life is all about learning, isn’t it?
At least one good thing has come out of all this drama. A lot of silent readers have come out of the woodwork.
We have a good discussion going and it’s worthwhile. I’m sure it’s therapeutic for all concerned.
Next subject, Sister?
Andra – Amen. It’s a relief to feel this human connection. Thank you for expressing it so well. You’ve nailed it, exactly. Thanks for being part of it.
I got my period really late (I guess) at 14 but when I did it was like big clumps of sponge – springy and bright red the first few times. Facinating!
My periods have always been very light, only lasting a few days. Bit disappointing really. I have an implanon now, so I don’t get any periods at all (or one about every two years). While it is nice not to have to worry about it when planning a camping trip etc there is not that build up of tension and then the cleansing release and rest that comes from a period.
When I was in my 20s I read a book on native American culture, and how the women would separate themselves during their period to purify in the woods together, finding a soft bit of moss to spread their skirt over and sit on to give back to Mother Earth. Periods were seen as a time when women would meditate and be connected to the earth (no cleaning or caring for men – they were left on their own).
I was living in the country at the time on a large property, so I found my own soft bit of moss and tried it. It was actually really nice – primal, beautiful, relaxing.
Andra – that was truly lovely. It reminds us all why Sister Wolf is the blog with a heart and soul. Yes it is about challenging the accepted status quo or making fun of the absurd. Where else can one be honest. Look at all these comments of truth, do you think people are usually free to chat on this subject. I’d give periods a 1 minute airing normally.
Gretchen – really SW owes no apology for being satircal.
Funnily enough my periods resemble Gretchen Bell – a thick bloody clot.