Who’s Ready to Slut-Shame Hope Hicks?

time to slut-shame hope hicks

Slut Hope Hicks and some Nazis.

If Hope Hicks were a man, in her same position at the White House, we could openly accuse him of being a scumbag who can’t keep his dick in his pants. We’d go, “Wow, he’s already fucked two of Trump’s aides?!”

But since Hope is female, we must tread lightly. It’s all #MeToo. Don’t pick on her, she’s a woman. Women are oppressed victims. Time’s Up. We’re tired of being harassed for sex.

Me, I’m tired of Hope Hicks. What’s wrong with her? By all accounts, she is Trump’s closest confidante and handmaiden. She carries a steamer so she can steam his wrinkled suits on Air Force One. She is basically his work wife, and also a substitute for her mentor, Ivanka. She is rumored to be having an affair with Donald, even though she’s not blonde.

But why has she had affairs with Corey Lewandowski and Rob Porter, both thugs that Trump drooled over before throwing overboard? Lewandowski is not only married, but has been accused of sexual assault in a separate event from the battery charge during the campaign.

Porter, who is 6’5”, likes to punch and choke his wives and girlfriends. Fair enough if you work in Trump’s orbit. Locker room stuff.

But Hope? Keep your legs together, girl! Isn’t is degrading enough to be Donald’s go-to assistant and fluffer?

I want to break the silence around Hope. Let’s drag her into this if the men’s behavior can be scrutinized so publicly. If women are truly equal to men, they need to share the blame for stupid indiscretions.

Maybe Hope needs to go to those meetings for Sex and Love Addicts. The first step is admitting that’s she’s powerless over her behavior. Then she can make a decision to turn her will and her life over to the care of God as she understands Him.

I don’t know if they have God over at the White House. I haven’t seen any suggestion of that. Does Hope have a mom? Can Mom remind her what they taught in prep school, where she played lacrosse? Or do they teach you to seek out rough trade in the workplace? Listen, I have no clue, okay? I skipped high school.

The other morning, a male person in my life was raising his voice to me and I said that I didn’t want to be talked to like that. When he seemed perplexed, I explained, “BECAUSE I’M NOT HOPE HICKS!”

I hope this retort can become part of our national lexicon. This would be a win all around.

Thoughts, critiques, or insults?

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9 Responses to Who’s Ready to Slut-Shame Hope Hicks?

  1. Mark-E says:

    I hope that, too.

  2. Joe Puerta says:

    I’ve often wondered about what happens when The Donald and she disappeared every afternoon for private “thinking “ sessions..a penny for their thoughts….

  3. Romeo says:

    Is Reince the only one in that picture not getting any? Has Reince ever gotten any?

    Are we still allowed to ridicule virgins?

  4. Dj says:

    There’s more dysfunction in that photo than all “The Housewives” combined!

  5. SueYouKnowWho says:

    Ugh. Having sex with Trump would be like copulating with a half-empty bag of Cheetos that had had beer spilled into it that you found under the bleachers after a Dodgers game.

  6. Romeo says:

    Alright, wait. There’s a difference between “slut-shaming” and judging someone for how they spend their sexual capital. Like, if she were just sleeping around indiscriminately, whatever. But if she’s consistently sucking rancid cocks?

    Put another way: the lady who sucks the cock of my enemy is my enemy. This is why so many women wound up with shaved heads after France was liberated from Nazi occupation. I suggest we tattoo this cunt’s face orange.

  7. Sister Wolf says:

    Mark-E – Try to use it if Ed raises his voice with you. Or if anyone does!

    Joe Puerta – Yep, yep.

    Reince – His parents should be punished for naming him that. Look what it did to him. And yes, we can make fun of everything.

    Dj – Hahahahahaa

    SueYouKnowWho – It’s just beyond imagining. It would be like that Black Mirror episode when the Prime Minister has to fuck…you know.

    Romeo – I just heard that Hope is “dumb as a stone.” Do we forgive dumb people for their choices? She can share a prison cell with Ivanka and they can go over the past to figure out where they went wrong. I would be good with that.

  8. Romeo says:

    My impulses and outbursts are regrettable. Difficult to take the high road when it’s being undermined by swine. Should we wait for the high road’s utter destruction before we start killing swine?

    Dogs are dumb too. When a dog has a shitty owner and behaves unacceptably we kill the dog. This is a shitty metaphor and I don’t mean to suggest HH (heil Hitler!) should be killed. Maybe we should just photoshop her with one of those dog shaming signs.

    Fuck, I don’t even know for certain that she’s had sex with any of these creeps and even if she has it’s not criminal. No, this is bullshit. It’s another salacious distraction from all of the genuine outrages that are going on.

    But then also too as well:
    “If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ’em!”
    ? John Waters

  9. Marla Griffith says:

    It seems like she will fuck anyone that pays attention to her or who is convenient. There is some sick, enmeshed relationship between her and shithead. I guess when he can’t have Ivanka, he can have Hope. I don’t care about them, but it’s sad and fucked up all the way around for how it affects the world.

    Sorry for all the “f” words but it just seems so appropriate.

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