The Trump Regime: Casting The Movie

After Kellyanne Conway flashed members of the Black Caucus in the Oval Office, it became clear that only Sharon Stone is qualified to portray her in the movie.

The movie will actually be a 6 episode series on Netflix, with Pee Wee Herman as Reince Priebus and Ellen DeGeneris as Mike Pence. Paris Hilton will co-star as Ivanka, with Adam Levine as Jared “but he’s Jewish!” Kushner.

Lyle Lovett will play Paul Ryan, with the great Orson Wells as Steve Bannon. I know Orson Wells is dead, okay, I’m not an idiot. I’m just saying, dig him up, brush him off just a tiny bit, and voila, a rotting Bannon!

Mickey Rourke stars as The Donald, and has agreed to put on 300 pounds for the role. In her first dramatic role, Caitlyn Jenner will play Melania “not a hooker” Trump.

Racist liar Jeff Sessions has not been cast yet, and all I  can think of when I see his face is the Gerber Baby.

trump regime casting the movieCan you help cast Sessions and the rest of these fuckers, I mean characters?

Thanks!

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15 Responses to The Trump Regime: Casting The Movie

  1. Tom Isenberg says:

    Henry Gibson as Sessions. Gibson is dead (I think) but as with Bannon, won’t make any difference.

  2. Jeri says:

    OM?. Thank you! ???

  3. Jeri says:

    I tried to insert a dog icon after the OM, but it didn’t come across. Sessions as Gerber baby, excellent!

  4. Dj says:

    Sister, you are on it! I don’t know how to add to this stellar cast, but let me see…
    I actually see John Lovett as reince, love a greased up and bloated Mickey Rourke as trump, Lyle has too much class to be Ryan, so trying to think of someone else…just had back surgery so there is an array of drugs coursing through my system and interrupting my usual quick thinking……yes, a bloated, orange Potus!! Gerber baby…haaaa! One more thing…isn’t there a professional, official White House photographer? Or did Kelly ann volunteer to embarrass one of the most dignified groups of black men in the country singlehandedly with her antics? So mortifying….

  5. Bevitron says:

    I’m thinking a heavily caulked and grouted James Woods for Stephen Miller.

  6. Mark-E says:

    I’m sorry, but I can’t support this unless you cast Ted “It puts the lotion in the basket” Levine as Kellyanne Conway. A prosthetic vagina can be used in the scene when she showcases her gynecology for the group of black men.

  7. Muscato says:

    As long as Ivana gets to play herself (all the Gabors having gone on before), I’m on board.

  8. ali says:

    Orson Welles’ corpse as bannon is perfect. the keebler elf as jeff sessions????

  9. DR says:

    Hatred from the left…or the right…scares the shit out of me….seriously scares the shit out of me….God help us.

  10. c says:

    Philip Seymour Hoffman as Steve Bannon
    Colin Hanks as Reince Priebus
    Lou Dobbs as Jeff Sessions

  11. annemarie says:

    I think Angelina Jolie should play Ivanka. The lips and boobs are in place, hair and make up can take care of everything else. They are both #womenwhowork and are paragons of motherhood. Most importantly, with their angelic faces that seem to radiate goodness, combined with actual evidence of diabolical behavior, they are both capable of rendering a form of emotional whiplash that will resonate with victims of abuse everywhere.

  12. Charlotte K says:

    Leslie Jordan, the delightful character actor who played Beverley Leslie on Will & Grace, was born to play Jeff Sessions. Please, make it so.

  13. Sister Wolf says:

    Tom Isenberg _YES, Henry Gibson, brilliant!

    Jeri – You’re welcome?

    DJ – Sorry about your surgery, I hope you are drugged up for as long as it takes to get better xo

    Bevitron – Ha! James Woods is a bit too old but the evil is right on the mark.

    Mark – E: Oh fine, if you insist.

    Muscato – Sure, she’s an honorary Gabor already, right?

    Ali – Hahahaha, Keebler Elf, why didn’t I see that?

    DR – Sometimes the only decent response is fury and hatred. This regime is a disgrace to humanity.

    C – PSH as Bannon is fantastic, he would totally kill it. Colin Hanks, yep, I like it. I’m not feeling Lou Dobbs as Sessions, but he’s so piglike that he needs to play someone. Bill Cosby as Ben Carson??

    annemarie – Hahahahahahahahaha! I chose Paris because she fiddles with her hair a lot, like Ivanka. Angelina can also bring the waxen face aspect, so good call!

    Charlotte K: I had to google Leslie Jordan but YES, if he can project simmering racism and malfeasance.

  14. Romeo says:

    Danny DeVito as Bannon

    In fact, I think this movie already exists but has to be pieced together from footage of Tim Burton’s “Batman Returns.”

    http://img.cinemablend.com/cb/3/2/7/a/5/5/327a55328f79cf18f895ca3b02da84e4445ce7295e877896fc80fa42838d22d7.jpg

  15. Dj says:

    Eddie Munster = Paul ryan

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