Category Archives: News

Allenna Ward: All the News That’s Fit to Print

Just like any normal person, I am fascinated by stories about female teachers who have sex with their students. It seems like a recent phenomenon, but perhaps it’s just coming to light now. Mary Kay Letourneau will always be my … Continue reading

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Owen Wilson: Boo Hoo

What’s so funny about Owen Wilson’s suicide attempt? I’m not sure, but an ABC news anchor couldn’t stop laughing when she had to report it. Is it because Owen Wilson is such a jerk? Or because he is so privileged … Continue reading

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Princess Diana: Fair And Balanced

To mark the tenth anniversary of Princess Diana’s car-crash, the US media indulged in the usual TV specials and analyses of the event and its significance. Predictably, there was a lot of criticism of poor Diana, as if it were … Continue reading

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Poor Amy Winehouse

I can’t describe my adoration of Amy Winehouse except to say that I’ve ruined my hair, teasing it into an enormous beehive in her honor. I’m not crazy about her husband, who looks like a typical hanger-on and scumbag. But … Continue reading

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Time Warner Is No Damn Good

Postal regulators have accepted a proposal from media giant Time Warner that would stifle small and independent publishers in America. The plan unfairly burdens smaller publishers with higher postage rates while locking in special privileges for bigger media companies. Can … Continue reading

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Kim Kardashian: More To Love

Kim Kardashian is getting her own reality show on E! TV, and not a moment too soon. I didn’t even know she had sisters named Kourtney and Khloe, as well as half-sisters Kendall and Kylie. That family loves them some … Continue reading

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The Horror Of Ellen Barkin

Ellen Barkin is never satisfied. First there was the jewelry, now this: Ellen is suing her ex-husband, Ron Perelman, for $3.4 million, saying that he promised the amount to her production company before their marriage broke up. Even though Ellen … Continue reading

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Man With Almost No Brain (Not Bush)

The news story about the guy with ‘almost no brain’ made me think of our president, obviously. Then, I was thrilled to learn the name of this rare condition: Dandy Walker complex. Is this too cute to be real?!   I’m … Continue reading

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Casting The Phil Spector Movie

By now, I’m sure we can all agree that Bruce Willis should play Judge Larry Fidler. In fact, how do we know that he isn’t already playing Judge Fidler? The other roles are still open. I like Al Pacino for … Continue reading

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Bobos vs Pinkberry

Abbot Kinney is a street in Venice, CA, where  “screenwriters” hang out in a trendy coffee house and couples browse rustic-looking antique shops for something to impress their friends. Barbra Streisand used to send a  “picker” to scour the shops for the … Continue reading

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